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Feelings… Chapter 6
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When did it all change between them? After Bette’s affair, she couldn’t conceive of being intimate with her again. Their rough sex the night of that revelation was so raw, so angry. She took control at the end as an act of desperation since Bette had insisted on telling her all the things she didn’t want to hear at that point. Tina knew it was over. She would never be able to look at Bette the same way. Never had she even considered being with someone else in all their time together, but she found out that Bette not only thought about it, but acted on it, too.
From that point on, she just felt very discontented. First, she hurt so much, then she hated Bette, especially after she learned that she had continued to see Candace during the time she was camped out on Alice’s couch. Helena made her feel desirable again, but she was too self-centered and not as considerate of Tina’s feelings as she needed her to be. Tina and Bette came together so sweetly after the sonogram, but she tried to avoid dealing with her mixed feelings about that encounter when Helena came over. At least Bette understood that she didn’t want her back.
When it got closer to the time for the baby to be born, she moved back into their home, tentatively thinking that maybe, just maybe, they could work through their issues. She still considered the life growing inside her as their baby, so it only made sense. But with Melvin’s death, Bette’s loss of her job, Angelica’s difficult birth, and the underlying tensions from not discussing the affair, the brief divorce proceedings, and so many other things, it just seemed to be too much to surmount. She wanted simplicity, security and fulfillment, and Bette seemed incapable of providing even one of these.
Her mind searched for a time when she had these all those things. Indeed, there was a time when Bette had been the one. But now, their foundation was cracked, seemingly beyond repair. She still loved Bette, but she knew she was unwilling at this point to trust her as a full partner—she didn’t want to be that vulnerable again with her, definitely not now.
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Bette continued to reflect on what she thought was going on with Tina, getting angrier by the minute. Was she just an eight-year aberration in Tina’s life, and she was her tour guide during her “walk on the wild side”? It made her feel like it was all a sham. And why would Tina bring up her feelings about Melvin, while she knew Bette was still grieving? With two bottles of water in hand, she took a deep breath, briskly strode back into the living room and faced Tina.
With eyes blazing, she said, “You really wanted to fuck that artist, didn’t you?!”
TBC
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Yes! Finally we get a new chapter of “feelings.” First, i don’t believe Tina ever wanted to fuck the artist, i believe she was somewhat attracted to him, but I KNOW she meant it when she said”this is you” to Bette. Yes, she kissed him,but did you notice the little glance she gave bette right before she kissed him? Like a little hidden message, to bette not to worry,or are u sure about this baby?. It was obvious to me that Tina wasn’t comfortable kissing that dude, she did cus they were trying to steal his sperm remember? Lament said”Conscious cheating right there and to me, was worse than the Bette/Candyass affair because Eric was probably thinking things were fine between he and Tina.”Ok..correct me if I’m wrong but i do believe Bette was cheating on Tina CONSCIOUSLY as well,right after Tina lost the baby. We don’t know the extent of Tina’s relationship with eric, but we do know that B&T were 2gether for seven years, and Bette instead of breaking up with Tina,cheated on her, and kept sleeping with Candy even after Tina left her.So really, I can’t agree with the statment of Tina cheating with eric was worse that Bette cheating on Tina with Candyass.How is that even possible.Yea B&T were having problems,so basically Tina shold’ve expected to be cheated on? Whatthefuckever.Respectfully. Post soon lady. This fic is addictive,please don’t make me wait til christmass!!
This continues to be a very well written in depth look at the TiBette relationship and Sweetie you keep saying that this is a TiBette…BUT you know it’s sounding more and more like a permemant break situation. I think you’re doing an excellent job of showing both sides by the way. I can’t wait for more!
Oh sh!t…more drama coming our way!
Not sure how a “whatthefuckever” can be taken respectfully, but okay.
Michellia I could have not said it any better. Both of you bring up a lot of good points. Arr I know through our discussions on Laurel’s and Tibette’s thread that you are beginning to see some of Tina’s dilemma. Not that what she did is right and the way that she treated Bette but maybe in some of her thinking. I know that you will do our girls right and have them work out their issues. I am looking forward to see how you will have them go through that process.
wow story is very well written in both voices. tina and Bette have alot to work through and it won’t be easy, but hopefully the will get there. You are making great points on both sides…the last line was awesome…..what will tina’s response be?! PPS
Thank you so much for posting. In season 1 when they wanted that 3 way with dude…that was a WTF moment for me…I was glad they didn’t get dude’s sperm. I did enjoy how the night ended however. I don’t think Tina wanted that guy. I mean earlier when her and Alice were in the bathroom talking about Alice sleeping with men Tina said that men were boring. I think Bette’s affair really threw Tina for a loop. She wanted to hurt Bette. I think when Tina got with Helena she knew what she was doing. I mean come on anybody could see what Helena was doing to Bette…and you can’t tell me Tina didn’t pick up on the game Helena was running on Bette…I think she enjoyed it. When Bette took Winnie’s advice and didn’t let Helena bait her anymore Tina began losing interest in Helena. Don’t get me wrong she loves Bette she just didn’t know how to handle that…it’s confusing to love just as intense as you hate. I’ll never forget that scene when Tina walked into the Planet and saw the possibility of Bette moving on when those women were around Bette and Kit said she was turning them away, and Tina was like “What do they want” she knew what they wanted…did ya’ll see that look when she sat down? Oh it spoke volumes…she gave a look like “Care to explain this?” You’re suppose to be somewhere groveling cursing life cause I’m pushing you away…you OWE me this groveling. When Melvin was dying and it would have meant the world to Bette if Tina stuck around…she said she was going to a parade with Helena…A PARADE ladies WTF….payback.. briefly cause we know she came back. It’s all about keeping Bette in her place. Okay fast forward…”I want to have my baby at home…I want us to be a family” and I am so mad at IC for this. Because Bette should have said Tina does that mean that you forgive me? I know we have alot to talk about but are you coming back as my wife? Tina hadn’t forgiven Bette….and at that point when everything was piling on she wants a man? It dosen’t add up…(not saying that it dosen’t happen…cause some women go back and forth like a volleyball game) but THE WAY she went about it had payback all over the place something that would take Bette down a peg or two. Bette was wrong too…she let her wife sleep on a couch for over a month while she sowed her oats she needs to explain that too. Oh man I can go on and on. I just hope it all can be salvaged. Keep posting arkaycee…
Good chapter and Im with AmandaMG and let see what’s next, thanks!
The last line is priceless…I mean you go through this whole strategic planning in your mind about how you want to careful about what you say and don’t say…share and don’t share…and then your mind takes you back over specific events…some beautiful, others not so much. As such, rather having a good plan for encouraging amiable discussion, you end up with fighting words . Me’ lady, there should be no doubt in your mind as to whether this is good. You nspired…1….2…too many heart felt monologues to count. I almost felt like we were back on the MBs. I am so enjoying this :}! Hurry back!!
Baby this chapter brings up a lot of good points from both sides. Bette doubts about Tina motives. The fact that Tina told her about her feelings for men, made Bette think about Tina’s reactions to men throughout their relationship. Bette fell to realize that Tina was straight in the beginning. The fact that she was with Bette doesn’t mean that her desire for men where completely gone. Did she act on these desires while with Bette? No. But now that their trouble in paradise they have resurfaced. Tina on the other hand is very hurt with Bette infidelity. She on the other hand can say she was an experiment for Bette. Can you turn a straight gal, gay? In Tina’s mind she probably felt that she wasn’t a good enough lover, partner, friend because Bette cheated. It hard for some people to forgive. Once you have broken the trust some people just won’t go back to trusting that person completely. So I hope that after they completely talk about what happen and be honest about their feelings that they came be together and work things out.Now what do a woman have to do for you to post quicker than three weeks?
Yeah Michellia
Damn…I can’t wait for the next chapter! Thanks for the post
I almost want to laugh at the last sentence because it’s so explosive compared to the rest of the chapter. I never thought that artist was all that great-looking. At least Jean-Paul was hot. *looking around* What? Hey, I’m gay, not dead. =p Anyway, I can’t top Michellia’s comment so I’ll just say a big fat DITTO! And please don’t make us wait forever for the next chapter. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
i have the same reaction as lamentamini, only i did chuckled at the last sentence because after some intense memories and thoughts to tina this question would come out of the blue…great chapter, post soon
LOL@ Lament. That question comes out of no where, seemingly, and opening a can of worms that old is just… probably a really bad idea. Especially if it really wasn’t an issue in the first place. Fab as always, looking forward to more!
i agree with everyone too… but i don’t know if this was ever brought up before… but when they first met…bette kissed tina and she liked it… or else she never would of went out with her again… but now here is the kicker… she was cheating on eric… and i guess tina got over that pretty quick… and now in your story… they got “TOGETHER” on their first “DATE”… she was still with eric… because she still had him there just in case… now everyone knows i’m a tibetter… and will always be… but tell me the difference… tina cheated on eric with bette… and bette cheated on tina with candyass (i still hate that bitch IC for doing that)… and life went on and they lived happier ever after… and now tina is still harping on the affair… Well i said my 2 cents… and now i can’t wait to see where you go with this… so again i’m with the others… please continue
Glad you let us see what both Bette and Tina are struggling with. In my opinion, and I know this by own experience, you have the same feelings when you’re cheating, or when you’re cheating on your partner. Both ways you think that you are to blame, you feel filthy, you feel lost, not worth the other one, that’s the thing that constantly goes through your mind. The ‘Two faces have I’ feeling comes later. You can have a lifetime with your partner, you can easely tell her that you will love her forever, but you can never say I will never cheat on you. You can only say I’ll do the utmost to prevent me from cheating on you. Arkaycee you’re a great writer and a great observer, you bring out the best in us, thanks for sharing your thoughts in your writings and posts on the board. Please don’t wait that long anymore before posting.
GURL!!!….If this is what you came up with after writer’s block, then block on sistah, block on!!
Amanda makes a very good point. We’ll disregard the show for a moment and just focus on the story here. Here, Tina was still holding onto Eric’s pinky when she chose to go to go out with and then go to bed with Bette. Conscious cheating right there and to me, was worse than the Bette/Candyass affair because Eric was probably thinking things were fine between he and Tina. When Bette hooked up with Candyass both Bette and Tina were in different worlds mentally and any dumbass could see they needed to get some help to get their shit together. So yeah the short version is Amanda rocks and so does this story.
Wow! Great chapter!! Tina’s feelings for men in season three have really bothered me. I understand that she was only with men before Bette. But, all throughout season one and two and into season three she gave no indication that she considered herself even bisexual let alone straight. Her comment to Alice that “men are boring,” or the fact that whenever the group teased Alice about being a “dirty bisexual” they never included Tina in that teasing. And, in season three Tina said to the social worker, “you know that we are lesbians…” Personally, I think she has not been able to completely trust Bette again after Candace, and just like most of us when put in a situation that causes pain, and loss…when we ourselves feel lost, we think back to a time when life seemed “easy” and drama free. And, for Tina that was when she was with men. With men, her life was just a steady line, no ups and downs…in other words, boring. I have faith that Tina will figure all this out in time. It’s kind of like how some people talk about how idyllic life was in the 50’s and wouldn’t it be nice if we could go back to that. Yet, my dad reminds me that in the 50’s it was only idyllic on the surface, and people’s memories of that time gloss over so many bad things that were going on behind closed doors. Sorry for such a long rant! Thanks!
It was really great,, let me tell you that i think you are a very good writer,, you attract my attention scince the begin of the story,, I hope to read the continue,,, it will be a continue?,, congrat’ss..