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    First, Last, & Forever? (Version 2.0 – Chapter 18)

    Story written on November 9, 2007 by Steph8373.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 17
    Words: 3453
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=67455
    Author Notes:

    Bette and Tina, 3 months after the end of Season 2.

     

    “The first time Helena and I had sex, it was in the pool.  At Chateau Marmont.  The night of the Peabody Foundation dinner.”  The words tumbled out of Tina’s mouth, sounding to her like they had been spoken by a stranger.

     

    “The night I left the flowers on your doorstep.”  Bette recalled, not seeing Tina nod as she was still staring at her toes, peeking out from under the towel still wrapped tightly around her body.

     

    “I was feeling like shit.  I was big and pregnant, and I felt completely undesirable.  Not just because I was pregnant, but because I thought you weren’t attracted to me anymore.  Helena made me feel desired.  And desirable.”  Tina paused, reaching a hand to Bette’s chin, encouraging Bette to look at her, to feel the truth in her words.  “There was so much lust in her touch, I felt wanted.”  Tina’s mere mention of Helena’s touch caused Bette to recoil, pulling her hand away from Tina’s.  Bette’s reaction wasn’t lost on Tina, as she continued to explain.  “And I was curious, what it would be like to be with another woman.  It didn’t mean anything Bette, it was just sex.” 

     

    “You kept seeing her, Tina.  For months.  It must have meant something.”  Bette snapped sarcastically.

     

    “No, Bette, it really didn’t.  At least not in the way you’re assuming.  I eventually came to care for Helena, but that was it.  I swear.”  Tina stroked Bette’s cheek with her hand.  “And that first night in the pool, even though I felt wanted, I also felt a little lost.  It had been so long since I’d had sex that was so devoid of emotion.  What was worse was that I felt like I was betraying you even though we weren’t together.” 

     

    Tina stopped, struggling to find the right words to convey the reasons why the memories of that night came flooding back as Bette had kissed her neck.  She knew Bette deserved an explanation, and this conversation would never be over until she gave her one.  Still, Tina wanted to protect Bette from the memories that still haunted her from time to time.

     

    “Do you really want to hear this, Bette?  Do you really want these images in your head?  It’s bad enough that I have to think of them.”

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    Comments

    6. That was ahard chapter for Bette to hear but she needed to understand Tina’s feelings about what had happened. I’m glad it ended well for them. Great work Steph.PPS

    10. I like your explanation of Tina’s and Helena’s relationship, Steph. I think you’re right that Tina tried to love Helena, but wasn’t free to do so. Love the story.

    11. Ahhh wow, that was a hard one for sure. You were brave in your honesty, when you wrote how difficult it is to move forward if you don’t honestly reveal some painful moments. In order for Bette to really accept Tina back completely, to trust their relationship, and move forward, she unfortunately is needing to hear the ghosts of the past. Tina, knowing that what she will reveal has the potential of only hurting Bette more, hesitates, because she hates to pull so much of the pain to the surface. While she struggles to offer enough to satisfy Bette’s curiousity, Bette wants every detail. Wow, I’ve been in a similar situation, and all I’ll say is you really have written this brilliantly. It’s very true to life. If you cannot move forward with full honesty with one another, you will fail and you will crumble. Sometimes making that road smooth again, isn’t about finding the right detour, but rolling your sleeves up and putting alot of work into making the road you will travel together, safer, stroner, and more secure. Thanks Steph. Ready for the next one!!! : -)))

    16. Very good communication skills used in this scene. It could have gone in totally different direction but both allowed the other their own thoughts. That is a very good step in the right direction.

    17. Great chapter, I love that you are making these two actually face their demons, hard in the short term but it’s got to be benficial in the long term.

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