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    First Year- Chapter 11

    I smiled at her. Somehow I didn’t feel it would be my last chance. Maybe it was my arrogance but I thought maybe Carmen was already in love with me. I was torn about leading her on any more. I cared about her too much to do that. I needed her friendship too much to do that. I was curious though about the date she cancelled. I walked over and sat across from her. Our legs grazed each other’s under the table. I asked, "What is up with you and Shane? She doesn’t strike me as your type."

    "I don’t know what it is? There is something very sweet about her. She has a certain level of confidence in her sexuality."

    "So you’ve slept with her?"

    She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

    I waved the question away and shook my head. I already knew she did, "Forget I asked."

    I was curious to know their full status, "So where are you? Is she girlfriend material? Does she have potential?"

    "Yes, I think so. She is a big challenge. She is really unavailable and never one to commit. But I find her very intriguing."

    "You seem to be attracted to unavailable women."

    She smiled at me, ran her leg against mine and winked an eye. I was actually a little jealous but I would not interfere in anything she wanted to do with Shane. I was surprised she cancelled her date with Shane to spend time with me. In between bites I asked, "Why did you cancel your date with Shane?"

    "You asked me to have dinner with you tonight. You seemed to be upset and so was I. I was just trying to be there for you. Besides there are things I can talk to you about that Shane cannot understand. I guess I feel like I traded up."

    "Oh so we are just commodity? Great! You sound like my mother."

    She smiled brightly. "Your mother! How is your mother?"

    "She’s fine. She expects me to walk on water in this program."

    Carmen laughed, "That’s nothing new."

    "True. She drives me mad. Dylan is terrified of her. I am convinced she has something to do with Dylan’s not matching here."

    Carmen became very quiet and seemed to be introspective. I tried to pull her back into the conversation, "Hey there, where did you go?"

    Comments

    1. I’m going to have some faith in the writer to see her way through this… cause if anyone can make this work… or not work it is you my passionate friend… love and hugs, JC

    2. Helena and Carmen are two of a kind….self-absorbed losers. They live in the moment and don’t care about anyone but themselves. When Carman made that comment about Helena being a traded up from Shane that was very shallow. They can rationalize their actions as much as they want to but the bottom line is their both whores. It’s a shame Bette isn’t more significant in this story because even with her flaws I prefer her more so then Carman and Tina.

    3. I feel like an idiot when I re-read my comment I should have made not that the work and not work part was in no way about the ‘writing/writer’ but about the characters in this situation… love and hugs, JC

    4. WARNING TO READERS!!!This is a story about personal growth over the period of a year. If you are waiting for a QUICK and EASY BeLena love story, this will not be it. I might suggest if that is what you want you stop reading and wait for the chapter called Finale. If Bette is the other lover is the story then you can start all over and read to see how they got there. Otherwise don’t torture yourself hating the characters and the writer as you wait to see what the final outcome is. The outcome is set. This is a very long complex story, taking place from July of one year to June of the next. We are still in August. There is much more story to go. Angst is what I write and this story I can guarantee you will be full of growth, angst and pain. GUARANTEED….

    5. Squirly you have a rep for killing us and we keep coming back for more. I love coming home to a new chapter from you and would like for you to go tell your employer that you need more time off on account just that fact. I also think that if that good little Catholic girl is ok with her actions than I’m not going to sit in judgement of her, theres a time for being a martyr but I’m thinking if you got a chance to be w/Helena Peabody thats not the time. At least thier youth is not being wasted. Raqus on girly. Thank you, Md aka Oma

    6. HIya there S, I had just read chicki’s latest chapter and now yours and let me say that I love both of them because there were emotions that were felt and dealt with on Carmen and Helena. I like how both women didn’t hide anything from one another, that they were best friends with benefits. I liked how Helena had to see how much she hurt Carmen when she said that her mother had paid for her education and well the rest of the story. It made Helena realize that she needs to becareful of what she says cause she hurts people when it comes to talking about her mother. Now I have no idea who Helena with end up with but S your doing a fantastic job here with this story!!

    7. Hmmm…so I’m a recovering good Catholic girl who knows all to well the chronic guilt attached to my soul… but geez…I have to say I was hoping for a little more juicy interplay between these two. I was all worked up in the last chapter and so I was salivating to experience the date/evening. The rush to guilt by both of them left me rather cold. I hear you though – they are young and still identifying what their needs are in relationships. Also, they are immature in a lot of ways and so they will make plenty of mistakes. I’m certain we all made quite a few a long the way ourselves. That said, I guess this just means you need to serve up some really HOT Belena sex at some point. ;>) (And you thought I wouldn’t mention it in every comment!)

    8. You know, I was thinking that those girls were crossing over some major emotional boundaries….so it was no surprise that Helena …in all of their sharing, comforting and….ahem…faux pas redemption techiques (lol!)…was feeling the birthing of something more than friends. I definitely appreciate them being honest with each other…and yes they are young, hormones are raging and stress is high…but for the sake of freedom, conscious and out of respect, please Helena have a serious discussion with Dylan. I know they are providing each other…. “support”, but I do wonder how all of this is gonna feel in the sobriety of the “morning”…Was it more than just “the moment”? What are they really feeling? Will Carmen begin to throw Shane in Helena’s face to get her? Will Dylan agree to an open relationship…go ballistic or swing through to “check” Carmen? Compelling considerations, but the real question is: Was there a video camera at Carmen’s to capture her little “I guess I feel like I traded up” comment? Lol! (dang Carmen, busted by camera again!). Looking forward to wherever you take us! PPS

    9. Your story is complex and complicated but everything is explained w/a great deal of detail. You have command of the s/l and the characters. Excellent storytelling.

    10. Carmen was really very generous to let that schmuck stay over. As she did, I have to say I’m rather distressed at the lack of detail the author shared with us about it. Yes, Helena needs to get some guts and address the situation. I can’t really blame her, they are all still young and learning, not just about medicine. I’m not sure that with their distant assignments that their commitment was ever realistic. That and the fact that with youth comes changes. Better they should deal with it rather than beat themselves (or each other) up about it.

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