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    First Year- Chapter 14/15

    Story written on February 22, 2009 by Squirl.
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    36 votes, average: 3.58 out of 536 votes, average: 3.58 out of 536 votes, average: 3.58 out of 536 votes, average: 3.58 out of 536 votes, average: 3.58 out of 5 (36 votes, average: 3.58 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 3487
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=72680
    Author Notes:

    Moving on. Growing up. Standing alone in the hard decisions.

    One night when I was one call, an elderly woman, Maggie Sandford, was admitted with exacerbation of her COPD or emphysema. She’d had multiple admissions for it in the past and during her last admission she spent a long time on the ventilator and nearly ended up needing a tracheostomy. She eventually weaned off the vent and went home. She told me how she struggled at home, but really didn’t want to come back to the hospital, back to the ICU or be on the vent again. Her sister was worried about her breathing and insisted she come back to the hospital. She looked pretty bad in the ER and because of her recent lengthy stay in the ICU, she was sent back to the ICU. Throughout the night her breathing continued to get worse, to the point she needed to be intubated or she would die. I talked to her about it and she maintained her position, she did not want to be back on the vent. She said “I’m ready. I’m ready to die. I’ve lived a good life. I just don’t want to be on that vent again.”

    I nodded my head and got a nurse to confirm with me her wishes. I called my senior resident, Dr Williams, and we wrote the DNR, no not resuscitate, orders. Later, I came back in to check on her and she was struggling but very quiet. I asked if the needed anything. She said, “Stay with me.”

    I pulled up a chair and sat next to her bed. She reached for my hand. She smiled when I held her frail little hand. It was so cold. I sat quietly with her. She relaxed and closed her eyes. It was just a matter of a few minutes but her breathing slowed to an occasional gasp but she was very peaceful about it. She didn’t panic or struggle. Her heart rate began to slow until it finally stopped. She went so peacefully. She got her wish. No tubes. No last ditch efforts to save her. She just went on her terms. I thought it was incredibly brave because so many other patients went out with such prolonged struggle and useless fan fair. But she’d had enough and she was ready. I respected her tremendously for it.

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    Comments

    1. S, don’t know how you do it, but you can make me see what Helena remembers and I like that very much. Helena loved Carmen but she didn’t know how much and how, like a friend, lover, or the woman who completes her. I can understand because she was still with Dylan even though she was cheating on her. And to break up on the phone,email really sucks bigtime…lol. She was right to tell Carmen what she felt even though she would get hurt. Carmen fell into her own trap IMO, and Helena didnt see it, or just didnt want to becuase it would make her more guilty that she already felt. But I say later on as she recalls that she did indeed love Carmen but will it be too late or will she have found a real love later on? Great chapter once again S!

    2. I am continually blown away by the authenticity of the story lines. I love the dialogue and the reading the characters thought processes. Real life can be interesting and dramatic.

    3. I hope you’re not teasing me and my dirty mind. I could use a vacation with some hedonistic sex, but I’ll have to settle for fiction. Which is why I hope you’re not teasing me. And my dirty mind. Hmmm…Helena didn’t see that coming. Maybe when she grows up a little more (or maybe has a less stressed and busy life) she’ll be better equipped to pick up on these things. And when she grows up a little more she might realize that blaming Peggy for whatever might go down, even IF she arraigned the distant residencies, isn’t fair. Now on to some serious R and R in Parrot Cay! Don’t let me down.

    4. Oh poor Carmen, she always seems to get the shity end of the deal, oh well she knew going in. I would have liked to have seen Helena get some kind of kuddos for her call on the woman who got to pee. It’s good to have faith in yourself but in a teaching enviorment, gee, maybe at least Tina could have said something. So, Parrot Cay, full staff, go girls, have fun, details Squirl, full details please. Thank you, Md aka Oma

    6. With Helena’s libido in hibernation until Parrot Cay, I have a feeling her mind will become very active. By the time she reaches the Caribbean, her guilt level should be just above topping off. My hunch is Dylan is drinking again to cope with the stress of her residency and being away from Helena. Maybe the two will swap sins–so to speak–and once the dust settles, move forward. So if Dana isn’t able to recuperate, doesn’t the slot need to be filled by a new resident? Any chance Peggy (with Helena’s urging) would pull a few strings and allow Dylan the chance to come to L.A.? Hmmm…

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