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First Year- Chapter 17
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At that point, I had been out of work for almost a week and I asked, “What are people saying about my absence?”
The official word is that you had a family crisis. No one knows. Your mother has been lying pretty low and everything is squelched. She hasn’t been seen around the hospital much. People have asked me what is happening or if I had spoken to you. There are all sorts of rumors flying. I’ve told them you were fine and this was a family thing. I said I expected you would be returning to work soon.” She looked at me with concern, “You are coming back aren’t you?”
I sighed and contemplated. I needed to. I needed the distraction of work. I needed to finish my ER rotation then move on to the Oncology service. I needed the busy distraction. “Yes, I’m coming back. I need to. I love your place, but I am getting stir crazy here. I need to talk to someone other than nurse Ratched.”
She looked at me seriously but sad. I asked, “What? What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Why? Why not me? Why…”
I took her hand, interlaced our fingers and kissed it, “Carmen, I was not really available when you came back in my life. I was pretty vested into my relationship with Dylan. I thought that’s where my heart was. Like you said, I fuck as a crutch. I needed that from you. I’m sorry, I just wasn’t available for more. It’s not you. It’s me. In a different time and place, things might have been different. But it was where I was.” I began to cry again, “I’m sorry.”
She held me to console me. “Hey you, stop that. I didn’t mean to upset you again.”
I began to work my way through another box of tissue, “Carmen, right now I would do anything to be in love with you. My life would be so much simpler.”
“Somewhere in there is a compliment, I think. Helena, I know you are in pain. I wish you were in love with me but you can’t help who you love. I didn’t mean to upset you again.”
I held on to her. I wished I was in love with her. But even her, I initially held with some level of suspicion. My mother always had a particular fondness for her. Fortunately, it was unfounded. She was a true friend. She came to my side when I was at my lowest point. She may have saved my life and I will forever be grateful. She was stunned and appalled when she heard what happened with Dylan. I could hear her voice softly under her breath, “I could never have.”
She never spoke to anyone about what happened to me. When I returned to work she checked on me frequently. She was like a mother hen in that way. I needed that from her. I was always so happy to see her and talk to her when she came around. She remained loyal to me and she was there for me when I met Dylan face to face to explain why she sold us out.
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It would be nice if Helena could make some friends that who hadn’t the tuition/student loans paid for by Mummy. Skinny proved skanky.
Too bad about the crud and the sprain. At least the flooring shouldn’t take too long.
Helena must be ready to do bodily injury to Peggy…I guess she needed to learn the truth though. What was Dylan thinking? How could she even consider taking Peggy’s money in a swap for Helena? I guess we need to hear from Dylan to decide what was going through her mind. Great chappie!
“It would be nice if Helena could make some friends that who hadn’t the tuition/student loans paid for by Mummy.” This may have been my all time best sentence. I hope you know what I meant, I refuse to try it again.
Peggy’s a monster!
Been sick, finally caught up. Helena needs to get off her high pretentious horse and stop acting like her sh*t don’t stink. What Dylan did was wrong and I know it hurt but To say Dylan destroyed and severed their loved is BS. If I recall Helena didn’t have to much respect for their relationship and didn’t mind being dishonest when she was in between Carmen’s legs. Will Helena ever confess that Dylan isn’t the only one with skeletons in her closet regarding their relationship or will she go on letting Dylan take all the blame the same way she blames Peggy for all her short comings. Helena needs to do some soul searching and grow the f*ck up before she can commit to another relationship because if she doesn’t she will be right back on the same merry-go-round she is on now.
Holy fuck, what the bloody hell is wrong with Peggy. I know Peggy can be a bit much, but i’ve always liked her. But damn her character in this story is appalling to say the least. & what was Dylan thinking, damn girl! I hope Helena punched the shit out of her for that one. Anyway, sorry my emotions got away from me. Great post as always my lady. I’d like to run an idea past you, if you have some time give me a shout.
So there it is…eh? Well, I definitely want to hear Dylan’s reasoning and wait, Carmen was there to when she met Dylan to hear the explanation? Does that mean everyone reveals their hand and they clear the slate? Hmmmm…verrrry interesting! Indeed, you have had quite a week already…sheesh! I hope things will wind down for you soooon!
woah so much to take in…I’m glad that Helena has Carmen to rely on…But as for Peggy she may not have had a right to test Dylan but in the end I think it was for the best.PPVS Gret work Squirl…Im really enjoying this journey.