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First Year- Chapter 18
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Chapter 18
I returned to work, kept my chin up, smiled pretty and pretended as if my family crisis was not about me. It was good to get back to work. I was greeted warmly by everyone. I wondered if they knew the reason behind my absence. Did they know about my unfortunate little swim? I threw myself totally into my work. I didn’t want to have any free time to think about my woes. Even with that, I would have times of great sadness if I dared to be alone, or with certain songs, or with anything that reminded me of her.
Dylan had planned to fly out to speak with me the upcoming weekend. She called me almost daily apologizing, crying and expressing her love. She sent flowers, which I brought in with me and left at the nurses’ station. I couldn’t receive anything she was sending. I wasn’t even sure why I agreed to speak with her. There was nothing she could say that would make me change my mind about her and what she did. There was absolutely nothing, but I wanted to hear what she had to say. I tried not to think about our vacation together. When we were there together, I thought she loved me. It all seemed like such a lie now. But then, when I was in her arms, whenever she made me come, it all felt so good and so real. I just didn’t understand. I tried not to think about it too much because it always would get me down and make me want to cry.
Carmen would call or come down to the ER whenever she knew I was working. I playfully threatened that if she continued, I would have her arrested for harassment. She said, “Fine, then I’ll harass you from jail. You will not get rid of me so easily.”
Deep down, I smiled at her. I loved that she cared for me. I needed someone to care for me. I found I needed to support her too. She started the Pediatric portion of her training and she had to deal with the death of one of the near-SIDS patients she had. The poor baby typically would lie in this crib in a comatose state with a rare visit from his parents. One morning while the nurses were making their rounds and taking vitals, they found that he had died over night. Carmen said when she called to tell the mother her son had died, she simply said, “Thank you,” and gave Carmen the phone number of the funeral home to call to take him away. Carmen was stunned that the mother had no emotion over the death of her child. As we talked about it more, we realized the baby had died to her sometime ago. He had no real life. He was being maintained by the feeding tube placed in his stomach. He made no response to any of the visitors or stimulus around him. To his mother he had died when he had the initial near-SIDS episode and this was just the finality that perhaps she was expecting and perhaps needed. Carmen felt numb inside about it and wondered if it said something about her that she didn’t feel bad about his death. I reassured her that this death was probably welcomed by the parents since the child they knew as their son was no longer. So if they didn’t mourn the death, how could she. We bounced these types of cases off each other to test whether there was any humanity still in us with all of what we saw around us. We realized we were beginning to desensitize just like we saw in those who were before us.
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Does Bette wear heels when she’s in scrubs? Cough, cough…it occurs to me that Bette is someone who would have no need for nor even be tempted by an offer from Peggy to cover her tuition. I’m just saying. It sounds like in Carmen’s case Peggy did it out of affection, but in Dylan’s, well Peggy didn’t hold a gun to her head, did she? And doctors tend to be fairly well compensated so even a large loan wouldn’t be as onerous for Dylan. Maybe it wasn’t ‘nice’ of Peggy to make the offer, but it did reveal something about Dylan’s character, even if she later tried to give it back. At this stage I’m willing to think Peggy was trying to protect her daughter.
I like the sandwich idea!
Funnyone- I made a lengthy response to your comment and lost my connection so hear goes…Not all docs wear scrubs in the ER. Many wear regular clothes and some like the real doc who inspired the “new Monet” wears designer clothes and pumps. I didn’t get it but she was sexy as all get out. (She is a good friend and I do recall us streaking through a mutual friend’s house with bubbles covering all the important parts. She was big fun and could corrupt the most innocent of us. :-) )…..Bette does not need Peggy’s money. Her daddy is very well off. Not as big a dog as Peggy but Bette has no issues with money. (Are you implying something?)….While the debt is not onerous it is a big burden. The avg med student will graduate with a debt around $150K. Someone like Dylan with no family resources is probably coming out with quite a bit more. The avg resident salary is about $35-45K/year. Most residents have to moonlight to make ends meet when you add in living expenses to that student loan burden. Dylan is looking at 4 years as a resident. Then once she is done a salary of about $100K to start.. So she’ll be in debt for a bit…Her better deal would have been with Helena, if she trusted the relationship. Obviously Peggy caught her in a moment of weakness, and played her like a fiddle. Next post is Dylan’s side of the story.
S once again a well thought written chapter. I liked how Carmen was still with Helena as a friend and more, and this time Helena made sure to treat her as she needed to be, wth love and respect. Bette is now becoming more human thanks to Helenas advice and being a friend in need for Helena. And finally she woke up and saw that she was being selfish and also, see that life was worth fighting for, if Dana was doing it why not her? As for Dylan I say don’t even bother coming back, but then again Helena needs to face her in person and get it passed her and start a new life w/o Dylan. Great chapter S.
Oh, great! Now all I’m going to think about the rest of the night is that sandwich reference! You just love to torture me don’t you Squirl. Sounds as though our girl is making a come back (or maybe that’s next chapter – sorry I couldn’t resist – that sandwich reference has me all discombobulated.) Helena better stay strong – or Dylan better come up with a freakin’ good reason for taking the moola from Pegs. I am not at all surprised that Helena is over the top with her mum. Loving the story and I hope you are feeling better!
I don’t understand why no one ridiculed Helena when she disrespected Dylan by cheating but when Dylan did something wrong it’s like she’s the devil. Both of their doings where wrong but a least Dylan had the humanity to try and correct her mistake. I think that if Carman hadn’t stoped the affair Helena would have been fine with the situation regardless of who she hunt. I don’t have any sympathy for Helena. I couldn’t deal with the death that comes from working in medicine. I know that saving lives probably outway the bad but it still has to be hard. Squirl you’re just as mean as IC making Dana suffer with this horrible disease. What has she done to deserve this she the sweetest person in the story. :-(
RB–Wow to compare me to IC…I person I loathe…I think I may have shared this, perhaps I didn’t. When I was an intern, one of my colleauges was diagnosed with lymphoma.She was sweet, beautiful, absolutely the nicest person. She was engaged to the nicest guy. This is always a bad combo. We always joke that it’s the nice ones that die. The evil ones survive. Why I chose Dana to put her through the lymphoma diagnosis is for obvious reasons. Perhaps I would have chosen Lara (someone peripheral) or Jenny someone everybody hates, but either I would have no one care(Lara) or they’d be cheering on the diease(Jenny). A lot of people are quite upset about Dana having this disease and going through it because they are reliving her breast Ca. Perhaps I can do better than IC. But unfortunately bad things do happen to good people. My friend died 4 months after her diagnosis. Bad things do happen to good people. Keep cheering Dana on.
Bwahaha…I’m sorry, but did you say people would be cheering if Jenny was suffering such a fate? lol! Now that is horrible! Absolutely, bad things do happy to good people…and cancer is a…I don’t know what to say but I’m still rooting for Dana! Dana’s situation absolutely helps Helena put things into perspective. However with comments like, “It was nice to know I had another potential shoulder to cry on…” (What..ever! lol!). I’m suspecting that the thing that will truly keep her going is her new BFF reminding her that she’s still alive…one way…or another! lol!
Bubbles with Monet? I take it wasn’t champagne. Squirl, you naughty girl! OK, if Bette does go into dermatology, she can probably get away with the heels and designer clothes, but I’m thinking the ER could get a little messy and she better be able to jump back in those heels if she gets another GI bleed. Hell, just as a private citizen in NYC I wouldn’t wear clogs or sandals, because that was a place you sometimes HAD to jump back and fast! I wanted my damn shoes to come with me. Yeah, I know a little about student loans. Not as much as a med student, but then I’m twice their age. That sandwich sounded delicious. Could you make us one?
Yes indeed. Designer wear and the ER are not compatible..Bette will certainly learn this…The bubbles were not champagne although I think champagne may have been involved..hehehehe…Bette/Helena/Robin sandwich….Hmmmmm Bette is not that kind of girl…hehehehehe…Sorry no sandwiches to be made. Not anytime soon but it does sound mighty delicious.
After reading each chapter and your AN, I realize that I lead a boring, somewhat uncomplicated, relatively drama-free life. I love all the detail and texture to the storylines. Some people might consider that to be trivia/minutiae but for me, it makes the story alive and breathing.
Whew…I had a lot of catching up to do…so sad about C and H, but can’t say I am sad that D is gone, I mean really-what was that…but money talks…Is there a cure for Dana? Don’t take her away twice…okay loved all of the updates and medical stories…looking forward to the next post!!
Like most I too hate what Dana is going through, and would not wish for anyone to suffer from any illness or disease. But in real life I know it happens. Yes Dylan made a mistake. We all do. And student loans aren’t a joke. I have seen many people lives fall apart from them. But Dylan should have come clean. As for Helena she really has no room to talk. They both betrayed their relationship.