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    First Year- Chapter 24

    Story written on March 8, 2009 by Squirl.
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    38 votes, average: 3.66 out of 538 votes, average: 3.66 out of 538 votes, average: 3.66 out of 538 votes, average: 3.66 out of 538 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5 (38 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 7
    Words: 2986
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=72820
    Author Notes:

    They simply allowed me to vent and I needed that. I needed to let it out. I didn’t want to celebrate the 25th anniversary of my birth, with anger and pain. They gave me like I offered to Dana, an ear. I realized sometimes that’s all that’s needed.

    Alice smiled, “I’m not so sure more sensitive is what I need.”

    I hugged and reassured her, “In the end, she will appreciate you standing by her.”

    “I hope.”

    “Alice, go home, I’ll spent time with her.”

    Alice agreed and went to say goodnight to Dana but she was sleeping soundly. I assured Alice, “I’ll explain it to her. Just go home and get some rest.”

    Throughout the night, I looked in periodically on Dana, as promised, but she was usually sleeping. Around midnight I went off to the call room to get some sleep. I don’t know if I had fallen asleep but I certainly was in an active dream state. I found myself dreaming about being run into the ground trying to keep up with Bette. I was awakened around 4am for another admission. This time it was a woman in her early 30’s that has advanced ovarian cancer. Her labs showed multiple abnormalities including severe dysfunction of the kidneys. I ordered an ultrasound of the kidneys for the morning suspecting her kidneys may be blocked by her ovarian cancer. Admitting two people that night that were my age was very sobering. I could understand Carmen’s depression while she was on the oncology unit.

    I passed by Dana’s room and this time she was awake, but just barely. I went in to visit with her. She was so uncomfortable and weak. She looked at me and asked, “Where is Alice?”

    “She went home.”

    “Why? I thought she was going to stay with me?”

    I sat on the chair next to her bed and held her hand. “Dana, she felt you were angry at her. She doesn’t know how to help you. It’s hard for her to know what do, when you are not feeling well.”

    “Sometimes it’s hard to know what help I need, when I feel so shitty. Helena, I just want this to be over. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I’ll feel good for a few days, then along comes more chemo, and I feel shitty all over again.”

    “I can’t imagine what you are going through. I know Alice is trying her best to be there for you. But she’s feeling at a loss right now.”

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    Comments

    1. Good to have you back Squirl, I did miss your Saturday morning post and now that the show is over will be looking forward to them even more. All of them not just Saturday mornings just to clearify. I can see where this chapter would have been super duper hard to write, it was hard to read some of it, you have a great understanding from both sides of the fence. So Raquel is on the way back, YES oh YES, didn’t even see that “perhaps” word, ya just don’t even pay it any attention. I agree with you, Thanking IC and the crew for the last 6 years and I say LONG LIVE FAN FICTION. Thank you, Md aka Oma

    2. S once again you did a wonderful chapter here with Helena finally growing up as she is thinking of other’s beside herself. I must say I wish you along with a few of my other favorite writers here should have written the finale cause this is so much better IMO ;)

    3. First, its great to see another chappie from you Squirl! I thought it would be the one with Bette and Helena jogging but I’m guessing that’s next. I loved the texting and the scene with Peggy and Helena. Perhaps Peggy did have Helena’s heart in mind despite the cruelty of her plan. The writing from S6 was some of the most disappointing to date from the entire series. So many WTFs left open and unanswered…I’m not the least surprised that Dylena broke up. IC has a serious issue with couples staying together – I thought she said something very notable in the show preceeding the final… “My own particular process is not to deal…” Well, I guess that explains why her characters don’t have the chance to deal either. Okay, I’ll stop before I get started. Hope you post the next chappie soon!

    4. Excellent! I loved it…very emotional all around. Wow…Al is definitely walking in Lara’s place…Great words of support and compassion from Helena. I’m sure it was difficult to write but flowed quite effortlessly. Looks like Helena and Carmen are well underway with being friends and Bette and Helena…are on their way to being more…lol! Thanks for continuing to post…PPS

    5. Hey S, that was a very good post..and I can appreciate that it was hard to write, you could feel it in each word…geez…whew…now you owe us a happy chapter sister….so get to writin’ (big smile)!!!

    7. Yeah, I was that tired and disoriented once starting a new job that I actually went to the job before I realized it was PM and not AM. I’ve always felt that Peggy did her flawed best by Helena, sometimes inflicting unintended damage when she meant to protect and aware of what might turn up attracted to the Peabody fortune rather than the Peabody person. Yeah, mixed feelings with the end of the show, which actually was interesting to watch, not always the case with IC. Of course, absolutely NOTHING got wrapped up, but that’s par for. But I will miss it and the characters. And yes, long live fan fic.

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