Fan Fiction
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First Year- Chapter 24
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“Sometimes I just want to be alone. Sometimes I feel like I just would rather be dead. She can be a little too peppy and cheery at times. I don’t want to be cheery when I’m I ache, or I’m throwing up or when I’m having diarrhea all over myself. I can’t pretend to be happy when I’m not.”
Her tears began to flow from the side of her eyes. “I guess I am being a bitch to her. I tell her maybe she should find another girlfriend. I feel like I’m holding her down. I can’t be what she wants me to be. I’m sick Helena. I can’t be happy.”
I sat on her bed, caressed her face and wiped away her tears. I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. I couldn’t really relate to having someone very close to me be so sick. All I could offer her was, “I know Alice loves you and wants to help, but she just doesn’t know how. She’s too close and maybe she’s trying too hard. I know she wants to be there for you and to support you. I sent her home because I could see she’s really having a hard time with it. I promised her f she got some rest I would watch out for you.” I smiled at her and teased, “Why else would I be here instead of trying to catch that last hour of sleep before rounds?”
She smiled at me and managed a weak, “Thank you. Please take care of my Alice. I know I am rough on her. Sometimes I want her to just be there, even if she is not doing anything. It means so much for me to turn and see her there.”
I nodded, “I understand. Let me be your Alice tonight. I’ll be here. I’ll just sit with you. Do you want anything? Do you want me to get anything for you?”
She groaned and said, “Yes, get me the nurse. I need to get to the commode.”
I hit the nurse call bell and while we were waiting, I managed to help her sit up and walk to the toilet. She was so weak and her muscles were so wasted. But she was determined to get to the toilet and not soil herself in the bed. Once she got back to bed we began to flip through some fashion magazines. Every so often she would stop to check out the woman in the photo and comment, “She’s pretty. I like what she is wearing. That’s nice jewelry.” Then she would say, “When I get better, I’m getting a whole new wardrobe. I’ve cut out all the clothes I like and have it in a scrap book. It will be last year’s fashions but I will wear them.”
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Good to have you back Squirl, I did miss your Saturday morning post and now that the show is over will be looking forward to them even more. All of them not just Saturday mornings just to clearify. I can see where this chapter would have been super duper hard to write, it was hard to read some of it, you have a great understanding from both sides of the fence. So Raquel is on the way back, YES oh YES, didn’t even see that “perhaps” word, ya just don’t even pay it any attention. I agree with you, Thanking IC and the crew for the last 6 years and I say LONG LIVE FAN FICTION. Thank you, Md aka Oma
S once again you did a wonderful chapter here with Helena finally growing up as she is thinking of other’s beside herself. I must say I wish you along with a few of my other favorite writers here should have written the finale cause this is so much better IMO ;)
First, its great to see another chappie from you Squirl! I thought it would be the one with Bette and Helena jogging but I’m guessing that’s next. I loved the texting and the scene with Peggy and Helena. Perhaps Peggy did have Helena’s heart in mind despite the cruelty of her plan. The writing from S6 was some of the most disappointing to date from the entire series. So many WTFs left open and unanswered…I’m not the least surprised that Dylena broke up. IC has a serious issue with couples staying together – I thought she said something very notable in the show preceeding the final… “My own particular process is not to deal…” Well, I guess that explains why her characters don’t have the chance to deal either. Okay, I’ll stop before I get started. Hope you post the next chappie soon!
Excellent! I loved it…very emotional all around. Wow…Al is definitely walking in Lara’s place…Great words of support and compassion from Helena. I’m sure it was difficult to write but flowed quite effortlessly. Looks like Helena and Carmen are well underway with being friends and Bette and Helena…are on their way to being more…lol! Thanks for continuing to post…PPS
Hey S, that was a very good post..and I can appreciate that it was hard to write, you could feel it in each word…geez…whew…now you owe us a happy chapter sister….so get to writin’ (big smile)!!!
please, please a hot b-day kiss from bette to helena you guys are all we have left now!!!!
Yeah, I was that tired and disoriented once starting a new job that I actually went to the job before I realized it was PM and not AM. I’ve always felt that Peggy did her flawed best by Helena, sometimes inflicting unintended damage when she meant to protect and aware of what might turn up attracted to the Peabody fortune rather than the Peabody person. Yeah, mixed feelings with the end of the show, which actually was interesting to watch, not always the case with IC. Of course, absolutely NOTHING got wrapped up, but that’s par for. But I will miss it and the characters. And yes, long live fan fic.