“Shane… will you stop drinking my beer?”
“What …!? I thought you didn’t want it!”
“Yes but I didn’t say that you can have it and besides I may want it later”
“You can have another one then”
“No, Shane, I can’t because there is no beer left. You drank every single one. You know what? Your skinny ass that you are so proud of will soon no longer be. It will be replaced by a large unattractive one”
“My skinny ass will remain because, my friend Alice, I have taken a decision.”
“What?…………………………”
“I’ll start working out! In fact I am going for my first run tomorrow morning at six o’clock.”
“Ha ha………….you’re sooo funny! You…… will get up in the MORNING and you ……will go for a run at six am. It will NEVER happen”
“Oh yes it will happen and stop with the irony because you are coming with me”
“NO WAY! I am not getting up at six am to go for a run because you feel guilty of the endless alcohol you consume every day”
“I will wake you up tomorrow at 6”
“No you won’t. ……………….Why the fuck are we still talking about it. You will never get up at 6 am. I have nothing to worry about!”
“I bet you that I will” 
“I don’t like bets”
“Come on Al! I need to change this destructive pattern of life. You have the obligation as a friend to help and support me through this!”
“Obligation?”
“Yes …. obligation”
“Destructive pattern?”
“Yes”
“of life?”
Yes
“Are you trying to convince me by using the helpful- friend- feel –sorry- for- me card?”
“Yes”
“Ok…….. that bet is on but I’m doing it just to prove that I’m right. You would never get up at 6 am.”
“If I get up and you lose you’ll come with me for a run”
“Ok … and if you lose you’ll promise me that you will try and keep a woman for more than 4 days….”
“I don’t like this …….”
“That’s it. Take it or leave it”
“Ok then. I have to make sure that I won’t lose the stupid bet”
“Ohhh now the bet is stupid”
“Come on…. You know this thing that you ask me is against my principles”
“Do you refer to the fuck them and leave them principle?”
“Yes that principle. Is there a problem??”
“No ………………………..it’s just that ……………………that I used to think that ……………………………………..it was too simple. I always wanted to find my “person” and spend the rest of my life with him or her. But now after all these relationships and all this heartbreak and arguments I don’t think I have the patience and the strength to keep trying. Now your oversimplified plan seems so realistic and easy that I wish I could do it. You need to teach me how to keep myself emotionally detached.”
“I can’t and I won’t teach you anything Alice. People are supposed to love and be loved. Of course that’s not always easy but who says that the road to virtue is an easy one. My ways of dealing with relationships will not suit you because I know you as a person and an empty fuck would be a waste of time for you. You are happy when you are with someone even if it’s not the perfect match for you. So what if you get heartbroken? You’re not the first and certainly not the last one. Life goes on. You say that you don’t have the strength. Maybe you should wait for someone to take your breath away. Then you won’t need strength because you won’t have a choice, you would just fall in love and everything will come naturally.”