Chapter 146

Tina held Bette in her arms. “Ok Baby….mom and I are going Christmas shopping now. You’re sure you’ll be ok with the babies for a couple of hours?”

“Sure T.” Bette looked at Taylor and Dylan who sat quietly in their bouncy seats on the floor of the living room. “Dylan, Taylor and I have plans…we’ll all be fine”

“You’re sure Baby? You feel up to doing this alone?”

“Yup…go…don’t worry…we’ll be great!” Bette smiled at Tina and gave her a kiss. “Now go T…enjoy the time alone with your mom.”

Tina gave Bette a kiss and kissed the babies in turn and then left with Jackie.

Bette looked at the babies and smiled. “Ok you two…we need to make the best of our time.” The babies stared back at Bette. Taylor smiled. Dylan blew bubbles. “Ok you guys…this is going to be fun….” Bette picked up the remote for the TV and turned it on. “Ok…let’s see…oooh cool…Lamb Chops Play Along. Pay attention you two – this show is so cool! Now see this little lamb here.?” Bette pointed at the TV. “That would be one…the one and only…LAMB CHOP!” Bette looked at the babies. “Hmmmm…I guess I need to do something to get your attention. See that lady there…well…she’s dead…but let’s not go there.”

Bette laid down on the floor in front of the babies. “You guys are so damn cute! Hmmmmmmmmm….What do I need to do to impress you?” Bette stood up again. “Ok…the big guns! JAKE….MINI…come here!”

The dogs came tearing around the corner and jumped up on Bette’s leg. “Ok you two. We need to keep these babies entertained….how about some Min Pin games?” Jake and Mini jumped up and down and spun around in circles. The babies both smiled. “I hope that’s not just gas you two!”

Bette put the pillows from the couch on the floor. “Ok Jake man….jump!” Jake jumped back and forth over and over again. Taylor laughed. Dylan blew bubbles. “Dylan…Dylan…Dylan….come on little guy.” Bette picked Dylan up and kissed him. “Smile for mama my man! Come on….please….smile….oh….oh…there we go.” Dylan smiled a broad smile at Bette. “You with us now guy?” Bette put Dylan back in his seat.

“Ok Mini…your turn. Can she do it folks?…..I’m not sure…she’s awfully little….just a puppy.” Mini stood looking at Bette. “You ready girl…this is your chance to join the big leagues. Ok…let’s go Mini….JUMP!” Mini ran toward the pillows and gave it her all. She jumped as long and as high as she could. She jumped right over the pillows! “Yes…she shoots….she scores…..aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! EXCELLENT! Jake…you with me?. Let’s go…your turn!” Jake stood staring at Bette. It was his Dorito stare. “Ok …watch the babies….I’ll be right back. Doritos…water and …we’ll see.” Bette left the room. The dogs sat in front of the babies and watched them. The dogs had become very protective of the babies. Bette returned moments later with a bag of Doritos, a glass of ice water and two brand new pacifiers – just in case.

Bette put everything down on the coffee table and then moved the babies to the couch. She sat between them. As Bette grabbed the bag of Doritos off of the table Jake went nuts. He jumped on the table and slid off the edge. Bette laughed. “Smooth Jake man! Really smooth. I know…I know….you meant to do that!”

Jake stared at Bette. In his mind he told her. ‘Damn straight pal…planned…totally planned!’

Bette opend the bag of Doritos grabbed a handful and tossed them on the floor. “Go get em guys!”
Jake and Mini ran to the Doritos. They scarfed them up. Bette tossed another handful to them. “My God…I can’t believe what I’ve become….tossing food to the dogs….” She looked at the babies. “Bored?”

“OK – this is it…time to sing!” Bette stood in front of the couch. She cleared her throat. The dogs and the babies starred at her. “You ready? This song is one near and dear to me…I want to share it with all of you. It’s a classic I tell you!” Bette prepared to sing. “Little Bunny Foo Foo…..hopping through the forest…scoopin’ up the field mice….” Bette motioned as if she was grabbing little mice into her hand and holding them. “And boppin’ them on the head!” Bette smacked the top of her hand – the head of the imaginary field mouse. “Bopping them of course you guys…and causing severe brain damage. Some people…if they saw me …would say that I have severe brain damage.” Bette raised her eyebrow and smiled. “But this is just you four guys and me…and this is our secret – ok?” Now the babies were both grinning.

Jake and Mini were just staring at Bette. They looked at each other. Jake needed to convey a message to Mini. ‘She’s nuts Mini!’ Mini looked back and nodded in agreement. ‘Absolutely NUTS! But she is kinda fun Jake! You have to admit that.’ Jake nodded. ‘She is a superior being!’

Now Bette was in full swing…any adult witnessing her behavior would have called an ambulance!

“Now this song…it’s like the best…and it never ends…never will!” Bette jumped up on the coffee table.
“HHHMMMMMMM! This is the song that never ends….yes it goes on and on my friends…some people started singing it not knowing what it was…and they just kept on singing it…forever just because….this is the song that never ends…yes it goes on and on my friends…some people started singing it not knowing what it was…and they just kept on singing it …forever just because….this is the song that never ends…yes it……” Jake began howling….Mini attempted to howl…a pathetic attempt…but cute nontheless. The babies both laughed as Bette jumped off the table and continued! “goes on and on my friends….” The howling made Bette burst into laughter. “Ok…I’ll stop…I’ll……..stop….*****….oops…sorry guys!” Bette was doubled over in laughter. Once she regained her composure she looked at her audience.

“Ok…what now?” Bette smiled at the babies and the dogs. “Hmmmmm….let’s try the television again. OOOOOH…OOOOOH…look ….Blue’s Clues! Yeehaa! Blues Clue’s…Blue’s Clues….” Ok let’s watch and see if we can solve the riddle.” All five of them stared at the television.. When the show neared it’s end…Bette looked at Jake, Mini, Taylor and Dylan. “Ok…the clues are…a pillow…a blanket and a bed….HMMMMMMMM…what do you think Blue wants to do? I think she wants to go to bed and have ***** with her friend Magenta….what do ya think guys?”

Bette was unaware that Tina and Jackie had returned. “So you don’t think so huh? OK…OK…Blue wants to go to bed and suffocate Joe that guy she lives with who always wears the same clothes.”

“Bette!” Tina spoke from the doorway.

“OH *****…you scared me.” Bette jumped.

Tina giggled. “Don’t you think they’re a little young to hear about ***** and murder in one afternoon?”

“Not when it comes to this show!” Bette smiled and then turned to look at the babies.

Tina walked up behind Bette and threw her arms around her. “I love you so much Baby. Did you have fun?”

“Yup…not a single tear shed the entire time! Not bad huh?” Bette turned around and grinned at Tina.
She kissed Tina and whispered in her ear. “I love you Sweetie…I missed you…what did you buy me?”

“I’m nor telling Babe…it’ll ruin the surprise…”

“Damn…I’ll have to snoop later then!”

“Sorry Babe..it’s wrapped.” Tina grinned at Bette. “I know you….that’s why it’s wrapped.”

“*****…you’re no fun T!”

“So I’m no fun huh?” Tina grabbed Bette’s ***** and squeezed it.

“No fun at all….NONE!”

“Well…we’ll see about that Porter. Let’s go feed the babies…then we can see how much fun I’m NOT!”

“Promise T?”

“Promise Baby!”