Chapter 147

“Ok Tina let’s get this show on the road!” Bette stood with her hands on her hips…clearly beginning to feel impatient.

“On my way Babe…just give me one minute here and I’ll be all set to go.” Tina had to admit to herself that she was taking her time getting ready to go. She and Bette were about to embark on an adventure…an annual adventure…that she had grown to dread. But…for the sake of Bette’s feelings…she was going to partake in the ritual again…even though she’d rather go get a tooth pulled…through her nose…naked…sitting in a park…full of people….

“Tina come on…let’s go…we have to get out there or we won’t have many Christmas trees to choose from.” Bette grew more impatient by the minute.

Tina came bounding around the corner and loudly announced. “I’m here Babe! Ready for adventure!”

Bette grabbed Tina around the waist and pulled her toward her. “Tina…come on…I know you hate this. You only go with me to humor me. Come on…admit it!”

“No really Baby….I loooove shopping for the most beautiful and perfect Christmas tree on the West Coast!” Tina smiled at Bette and kissed her passionately. “You know…we could go get a fake tree later and go fool around now!”

“Tina…please…no fake trees!” Bette had a genuine look of disgust on her face.

“What ever would I do if I didn’t have six months worth of pine needles to pick out of the carpets? Ok…let’s go Baby….I admit…I’m doing this strictly out of love for you…and I do adore you Porter!” Tina smiled again and kissed Bette’s nose.

“Aaaawwwww….you are the sweetest thing T. I promise…this year the tree doesn’t have to be totally perfect!”

“Yeah right Bette! Ok..sure…when was the last time an imperfect Christmas tree was brought into this house? NEVER….that’s when Babe…never!”

“Oh come on….I’m not that picky T. Remember last years tree?”

“Oh yeah I remember….a six hour search and you still didn’t like it. We only got the one we did because it would have been February by the time we got back from Vermont!”

“Shut up Kennard …you smart *****!”

“No! Make me!”

“Is that a dare?”

“Yes it is….make me shut up Porter. I want to see you make me….” Bette cut Tina off with a kiss. “Ummmm…well…geee…that worked Babe! Sure you don’t want to go fool around and pick up a tree later at the store?”

“Let’s go T. You woove me and dats why you’re doing dis!”

“Oh great…tree hunting with Elmer Fudd! Weeeee…this is going to be fun!” Tina got a very thoughtful look on her face. “Be vewy, vewy quiet…”

“Shut up Kennard!”

“You started it ELMER!”

“Ok Babe… your hunting time is seriously limited to three hours this year…the babies wll need to be fed…THANK THE LORD!”

“Do you want to stay home Tina?”

“And miss this…not on your life Babe!” Tina kissed Bette again. “Besides…I want to spend the time with you…even if we will be doing THAT!”

“By THAT…you mean…looking at every tree within a 40 mile radius of our house?”

“Exactly Sweetie…that is exactly what I meant!”

Bette grabbed Tina’s hand and pulled her out the door of the house. “You want to drive this time T?”

“You’re going to let me be the GUY this time?”

“Shut up Tina! On second thought…yeah…you be the guy…you pay for it and lug it to the van!”

“No no Porter…I insist…you be the GUY again this year! But I will lug it to the car for you.” Tina bent down and kissed Bette’s belly.

“Tina…it won’t work!”

“What won’t work Babe?”

“Your little departure down south is not going to work…we’re going tree shopping.”

“What ever do you mean Porter….are you insinuating that I would attempt to get you all hot and bothered in an attempt to bring the wheels of this wonderful adventure to a screaming halt?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. *****…not falling for it huh?”

“Nope T….let’s go…I’ll drive!”

TBC