Tina :What about you Bette, is that what you want ?
The question echoed in my mind for what seemed forever. Isnt that what I have been working towards ? Wait, is that what I have been working towards ? I suddenly feel doubt and fear and I am in two minds, to share it or to cover it up, so not to give this woman who traveled half way around the world for me the wrong idea.
Tina : Bette, are you OK ? It brings me back to reality.
Bette : Oh, sorry. Yes, yeah I think I am OK, Tina, to be honest I didnt expect to see you here and I feel(Tina cuts me off)
Tina : You mentioned that you were surprised to see me. Its not hard Bette, do we want the same thing because if not I am going home. Tina starts to stand up.
Bette : Tina, wait ! please, that is not what I meant. You want to try and work things out ?
Tina : Yes Bette. (she says it as though I am stupid)
Bette : Oh. (Sigh) I am just surprised. For weeks you wouldnt speak to me and now you are here wanting to work things out.
Tina : Listen to me Bette, I am here. I want to try and work things out. Work through what happened, get us a solid foundation for the future and put this behind us. I am not making any promises. This seems like a good place to work through things, alone.
Bette : Tina ( I say with sincerity). For the last few weeks I have been here, trying to put myself back together and put what happened with us behind me. I accepted that you had moved on. I realize instantly that it does not sound good, a little too much honesty. I go on.
Bette : I am flattered you came here.
Tina : Bette, I know all of these things, do you want to try or not ?
Bette : I hesitate. Yes, I do want to try and put us back together Tina. Us, you were the best thing that ever happened to me but it is for that reason I am hesitant. I feel like if it doesnt work out then the small steps I have made, I will have to do it again and I do not, cannot do it again. I just dont have the inner strength. Is that honest enough ?
Tina : Yes. We better make it work then. She smiles.
Tina : Bette I have some requests, if you might.
Bette : Surprised. Ah, ok, like ?
Tina : Bette we will not be sleeping together until this is sorted, if it is sorted, and I do not mean *****, I mean sleeping together. So we need separate rooms. I will let you know when I am ready for that to change and if you are ready then, we will review it.
Bette : Ok, and ?
Tina : We need to talk everything Bette. The miscarriage, the affair, what happened after Provocations, how things got the way they did. I need complete honesty Bette. If I find out you lie to me, its over. There is nothing easy about this.
Bette : (Oh my God, Provocations, Candace, the miscarriage). I understand. I will not lie to you Tina.
Tina : One more thing.
Bette : OK ?
Tina : I will make lunch.
Bette smiled. She could live with those conditions. We had lunch and it was less tense. I wasnt allowed to help in the kitchen. Be thankful for small blessings. I tell Tina I am just going outside for a second. I go out by the beach and look out over the water. Out loud I say. Thank you, thank you for bringing her here. I dont know who I am talking to. I know there is so far to go and tonight we are likely to embark on the first of very many difficult discussions. I do not care. Thank you for this second chance.
Tina looking out the window watching Bette. Without realizing she smiles to herself. Tina thinks, OK Bette, dont let me down here, you are not the only one who cannot take it.
Bette : I turn around and make my way back in. I ask if there is anything I can do. I offer to make the coffee. I am proud of my coffee. It reminds me of home. As I push the plunger down.
Tina : Bette, this afternoon, if it is OK I would like to lay down, as you might imagine I am very tired. Tonight after dinner I would like to talk to you about Candace.
I push the plunger down as Tina says those words, the coffee goes everywhere. She says nothing. Start with a biggie, sure.
Bette : Tina, ofcourse, whatever you need to know. The dread of what this will do to her is deep in my heart but it seems no way to avoid it. She is determined.
Tina : I think I will rest now.
Bette : rest well Tina. I do not offer anything further.
Tina is resting and the panic has set in. Oh my ***** God, what do I tell that woman after dinner ?