I sat out on the beach while Tina went to bed. The breeze was warm and fresh. I was so greatful to have her here but I couldnt help but think of the next few days. How hard they were going to be. For me to tell her those things she wants to know will be hard, not just about the carpenter. And for her to hear those things, it will be harder. I have a dilemma because if do not tell her the truth and she finds out she will leave and not come back. That I am sure of. And that is an enormous chance to take when one has been given a second chance. But the other side of it is that if I tell her the truth she will surely leave anyway. She might have coped if Id just slept with the carpenter once and she is sure to ask how many times. I know what I did cost me a lot, my wife, seeing my child grow inside her and being the only woman who had been with Tina in that way. I know she slept with Peggys daughter, I could see it. I never wanted to have this conversation but I want it over so we can both go forward, if there is something to go forward to. I am true to my word, I promised Tina I would not sit out here past midnight. I think she asked that of me so we could both be well rested for tomorrow. I look in on Tina and whisper goodnight, I love you and close the door. I make my way into the couch and smile at the thought of the dinner we had tonight. Perhaps there really is a chance.

It is daylight savings here, the days are long, the sun rises early and the sets late. It is often light by 6am and not dark until 9pm. The thunder clap wakes me and I know it is early because it is still dark outside. I go to the door and look out the screen door. It is raining, actually pelting down. I can smell the rain in the air. There are no stars. The wind is strong, blowing over the top of the rocks and although it is not cold, it is no longer warm either. The waves no longer gently crash, the tide is in and the waves seem angry, harsh and cold. The water is not clear anymore, I can tell because there is seaweed on the beach. I dash outside to grab a couple of wood logs in case it gets cold tonight. I know it can get bitterly cold and windy here and I do not want the wood to be wet. The only heating is a pot belly stove. I check the clock and it is only 05:30 am. I havent had much sleep, 5.5 hours. I crawl back under my blanket on the couch, thinking about Tina and wondering what time she will wake and what the day holds for us. I pray that the weather is not a reflection of how things will go between us but the change is not lost on me. I must have dozed off because I wake to the shower running and two hot chocolates on the table. Tina emerges from the bathroom in a pair of blue jeans and black casual jumper, she has no shoes on. Naturally her jeans dont fit her like they used to but she still looks beautiful. I rise and take a sip of the chocolate and head for the bathroom myself without saying a word. I feel her eyes follow me. This time I take a long hot shower and emerge in black designer jeans and a casual white top. I guess you can take the girl out of LA but not the LA out of the girl. Tina is sitting at the table and I sit opposite her. I do not pretend to hide my discomfort. I know she is waiting for me to begin. I cup both my hands around the hot chocolate and bring it to my mouth slowly, as if delaying will matter. I take one sip and say a silent prayer. Please, if there is a God up there, give me and Tina the strength to get through this together. Please give us one more chance. I will make it work. I put the cup down on the table. I still do not look up and I feel Tinas eyes watching me, they havent left since I sat at the table. We begin possibly the hardest conversation we will ever have.