I walk over to her and just sit on the side of the bed next to her, as I have done may times before, like nothing has changed. I know I am frowning, rubbing my forehead. She stirs ever so slightly and I remember what she said about sleeping together, well I guess that applies to being in her room uninvited while she is sleeping, and as it is hot she does not have much on, just a tank top and knickers. I can tell her ***** are fuller, I do not mean that in a sexual way. I brush a small piece of her blond hair back behind her ear and whisper Im sorry. To my surprise she whispers back I know. I immediately jump off the side of the bed but its too late she has hold of my hand. Its OK Bette, just lay with me. Is she fully awake ? I lay behind her and wrap my arms around her. I dont take much persuading. I gently rub my hand over her belly, our baby, if she is awake, she doesnt seem to mind. I am filled with sorrow and regret, I might lose both of them. Silent tears run down my cheeks. Tina seems to be sleeping soundly. I will let her sleep because she must be exhausted and in truth I do not want to have this conversation. I quietly slip out. Perhaps I will make a simple dinner and we can sit on the porch. Id love a glass of wine but alcohol is not a good idea with THAT conversation looming. Plus Tina cannot drink. Guess that is it for my cigarettes too. Tina always hated it when I smoked anyway. I resolve to do neither of those things tonight. I close her door and decide to cook. One less thing she can be grateful for ! I tell myself it is the gesture, not the food. It is a warm day so something simple like a tandoori/coriander chicken salad might be the go. I know I am not renowned for my cooking but Ive had to do a lot of it lately and a girl cannot eat three meals a day at the bakery. The kind ladys words come back, tell her, go to her. I am still perplexed by those words, what do they mean ? I did go to Tina, and now she is here, I told her I am sorry and I love her more than life itself, that she can have anything, everything for her and the baby, what more can I do ? I just dont understand. I quietly make dinner, it is late, 7pm but the sun has not yet begun to set. I tell myself subconsciously that if we have a nice meal on the porch with the sun setting and I look fabulous that might help things, maybe she will fall in love with me again. I am still to realize she is in love with me.