Tee and I must have slept through the night because when I woke she was sound asleep in my arms. She was lying on her side and I had both lazily arms around her like we had done for most of the last seven years, except for we had pajamas on. The sun was shining in and it wasnt too hot so I figured it must be early. Yep, 6:30am. I slowly released Tee from my arms and kissed her on the cheek before getting out of bed. I pulled the blinds down and make my way into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I headed down to the beach and just sat on the sand. The sun was high in the sky, the sand golden and the water clear. I got up and dipped my toe in the water, nope just a bit too cold for a dip. I returned to my spot and marveled at the tranquility of this place, the beauty. I came here for peace and privacy, probably one of the few places I thought I could remain unfound, at least by Tina. It was beautiful here before she came but now, after last night the whole world had a new glow. I thought about how well it had gone and how we genuinely just enjoyed each others company, sitting in almost this exact same spot. I pondered how Tina really did find me here, I know what she said, she spoke to Melvin after seeing the photo and he told her where this place was, but what made her search and then come. We come have so far, sure there have been some steps forward and some steps backwards but we are making progress. Less than a fortnight ago we couldnt be in the same room together and have a civil conversation. I dont know how long I sat out there for but when I turned around to go back inside I saw Tina looking out through the window at me. She didnt try to hide it, in fact she waved, gesturing whether she should come out her or I would go inside. I indicated I would come inside.

Bette : Morning Tee
Tina : Morning babe, how did you sleep ?
Now that I thought about it, I slept the best I had in months. No tossing and turning, no tears, no sitting outside at 4am. Tee, I slept really well, and you
Tee : I slept great Bette
I made us a coffee and we sat down at the table. I asked Tee what she wanted to do today and she hesitated just a fraction.
Bette : Tina, what is it ?
Tina : Bette, would you mind if we just stayed here today, I think we have some things to talk about.
Bette : Uh, OK, Tee what happened to asking each other one question a day ?
Tina : Bette, wed never get home, I think we both have many questions
The truth was I hadnt thought much about going home, I knew I would have to but I guess until Tina came there seemed no hurry, in fact I dreaded it. Kit, Alice, Shane, Dana, CAC, it seemed like forever since Id seen them, more things Id have to deal with. I know I said to Tina I thought we should stay couple of weeks here but I just hadnt considered Id be necessarily going back to LA or how things would work when I got there. I stood there thinking.
Tina : Bette, baby, is that OK ?
Bette : Sure Tee, thats fine I lied my ***** off, I could think of nothing worse than rehashing the things that had happened between us and I still felt unsure about the future, our future.
Bette : what would like to ask me about Tee ?
Tina : Thats to the point !
Bette : Tee, sorry, Im just a bit anxious.
Tina : I understand baby, its not going to be easy but we do have to sort through these things
Bette : I know Tee, perhaps I can ask you a question first ?
Tina : OK
Bette : Tee, why didnt you tell me about the baby, that you were trying to get pregnant, that you were pregnant, what if youd lost the baby, you must have been pregnant at the Provocations opening.
Tina : Bette, Bette, slow down. OK (deep breath), I didnt tell you that I was trying to get pregnant because I wanted to surprise you, because you didnt take the miscarriage well. I was worried especially after what happened with Faye Buckley that you couldnt deal with another miscarriage. And yes, I was just pregnant at Provocations
Bette : I felt like a right *****. Here is my wife trying to surprise and protect me and Im.and then what happened after Provocations at home.
Tina : Bette, are you going to say something ?
Bette : no, Tee, actually Im not as I got up from the table and looked out the big windows. I stood there looking out, Tee seated at the table, my head bent down, until finally I had to ask Tee, why didnt you tell me you were pregnant ? Tina hadnt moved from the table.
Tina : Bette, if I had my time over, maybe I would tell you. There is no one reason why I didnt. Perhaps because we werent really communicating, perhaps because there was no opportunity, perhaps because I was worried you wouldnt want me and the baby, perhaps because if you did want us I wouldnt have known what to do. Bette, please, I was so hurt and angry.
Bette : I just nodded in acknowledgement of what Tina said. How could she think I wouldnt want her. You shut me out Tee, after the miscarriage and after, after Provocations. Tee said nothing. I quietly wiped away a tear. I knew Tina would know I was crying.
Tina : Bette, why an affair, why Candace, why her ?
Bette : Tee, I dont know all the answers myself. I think her, Candace because she was there, available and willing to take control. I felt like I was lost Tee, I felt like you didnt want me, didnt me, I had problems at work, problems at home. It wasnt Tee that I loved her, it was never that. I just needed a release, to give up control
Tina : So you ***** someone else ?
Bette : Tee, it wasnt like that I still havent turned around.
Tina : what was it like Bette, was it good ?
Bette : I thought about how to answer that question because Tina had asked me that before and Id pleaded with her not make me answer but since she asked again I guess she was going to persist. Tee, you are the only one I love. It wasnt ***** for pleasure, it served a purpose. It wasnt the same as when you and I make love..Tee, please believe me I only want to be with you
Tina : Who fucked who Bette ? I heard the cold edge in Tinas voice.
Bette : I turned around in an attempt to see if could get her not to put us through this bit to no avail. No response to my pleading eyes. Sooner or later shed find out. She mostly fucked me Tee. I mean was there any right answer anyway, as though if Id said I fucked her it would make it better. I waited for what seemed like forever for a response. Eventually Tina made her way to standing in front of me.
Tina : Was she better than me Bette, in bed ?
Bette : No
Tina : Do you want to be with her Bette, because if you do, now is the time to say
Bette : Tina, Oh my god no, I want to be with you, why cant you get that ?
Tina : Bette, I do not want you to have any contact with her, any Bette. There are no more chance here Bette, if you look to a third party we are done, over, finished. Im not doing this again.
Bette : I understand.
Tina : I hope so Bette, for everyones sake.

We talked about all the things that happened Provocations, the miscarriage, why I didnt tell Tee I nearly fired, why I didnt tell her I had fears about being the sole the financial provider and a parent, Melvin, how she felt she lost her identity and her independence. I guess neither of us are dumb enough to think those issues wont come up again but it was the first real time wed been able to sit down and talk about it without it turning into something ugly. It was late in the afternoon, wed been talking so long neither of us had noticed. Tee offered to make us a light lunch which I was eternally grateful for because my cooking prowess was at its limit but also because wherever we were always felt like home when Tee cooked, she asked what I wanted and I was honestly able to say I didnt much mind. Her choice, in truth I wasnt that hungry anyway.

Bette : Tee, I kind of had something planned for tonight but if you are too tired or maybe we are not in the mood I can put it off. You know we talked about a lot of things today. I said chomping on the sandwich that despite no being hungry before I am thoroughly enjoying, maybe because Tina made it.
Tina : Bette, I would like to do whatever it is you had planned
Bette : I would like that Tee I smiled.
Tina : Bette, at some stage we need to talk about our future.
Bette : Tina, isnt that what we have been doing ?