“Wellwould you like to come back to mine until you remember?”

“I would love to”

We arrived at my house ten minutes later and as I held out my hand to help her out of the taxi, she squeezed it and didn’t let go. My mind screamed words to say to heryou’re amazing Tina Kennard. You’ve come into my life at a time when I was stuck in a rut and you’ve lifted meyou really haveBut all that I could manage was a smile not to different from that of Disney’s Goofy. Hand in hand we walked to my front door and I let us inThank god the cleaner had been round this morningI obviously wasn’t ready to let Tina see EVERYTHING about my personality, least the ugly chaotic streak in me.

“Would you like more wine Tina?” I asked, knowing that regardless of her answer I was going to have to have a big swig to help me relaxwhy was I so nervous?!

“Yeah, that would be great” she shouted from the living room.

I brought the wine through and was relieved to see she had sat on the sofa rather than on one of the two armchairsI gave her the glass and she immediately put it down and took mine out of my hands too.

She looked into my eyes “Bette, I’ve had such a wonderful evening and I really, really don’t want it to end but I don’t know where I want it to go from hereI’m scared of rushing things and regretting things but at the same time, I want to kiss you so muchmy mind is totally in the gutter at this moment with thoughts about you and what could happen but like I said, I don’t want to feel awkward or regret” She paused for breath and her eyes begged me for an answer.

“Tina, I’m not going to take advantage of you on our first dateespecially when this is your first experience with a womanyes I do want to touch you and hold you and be intimate with you but its obvious from how we both feel that tonight is not the night to do thatit could ruin the start of something really amazing” There, I had said itwell at least given her a hint as to how good I felt about the two of ushow I wanted it to be more than just dating, how I had never felt like this, how I was falling and how scared I was that when I landed it was going to be with an almighty crash. Damn Bette, this angel has got you tied up in knots

Before I had a chance to extend on what I had said she cut me off

“Can I kiss you?”

Without waiting for my answer, although I’m pretty sure the smile and the eyes said it all, she kissed me. Our lips met and I felt the same electricity run through my body as I felt when we first touched hands. ‘This is amazing’ I thought as our tongues gently explored each others mouthsNever stop TinaShe moved closer to me and leaned on my body so I was laid down on the sofa and she was on top of me. I felt her hands on my hips and the blood rushed to my groinI could feel myself getting wet and the heat between us grewGod I want you so much TinaShe moaned softly and pressed her body closer to mineone of her hands moved so it was in my hair and caressing the back of my neck and shoulders and face and neck again and chest andWhoa!

“Tina” I said breathlessly as I broke away from her kiss, ” We have to stopyou said yourself you don’t want to end up regretting tonight or rushing things and well” I hesitated and she jumped in

“I feel okayI thinkOh, I don’t know…” She looked worried, as though she didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“It’s okay TinaI.I don’t feel readyI wish I did but I don’t” I can’t believe that I’m turning down ***** with this angel because I’m not readyso this is what it feels like to not be ready!

She kissed me again, much softer this time and then rested her head on my chestno doubt she could hear my heart pounding and I hope this gave her a sign as to how much she had turned me on and how much I desired her.

“Thank you Bette Porter” she whispered

“For what?” I whispered backrefusing you a night of hot passion?

“For knowing how much this means to me and feeling the sameI hope?”

“I do,” I whispered, slightly self conscious about this new me emerging, “I really do”

TBC