Chapter 32 – Deep in Thoughts


Tina had realized that Bette was approaching, she had felt the hairs on her arms rise as she caught a glimpse of Bette in the mirror on Annas dresser. Tina braced herself for the moment when Bettes skin would touch hers. Tinas mind quickly went into overdrive with every nerve ending in her body tracing Bettes movement. But as Bettes arms came closer they stopped and at the time Tina tried to keep her focus on Anna. Averting her eyes away from any sight of Bette. As she studied her beautiful little girl sleeping she heard Bette exit the room. What happened? Why did she leave? Tina was left wondering what she would have done when those arms had slid around her. Tina had remained in Annas room watching her sleep longer than necessary as she willed her heart to calm down. Looking into the mirror, Tina straightened her blouse. Returning back to the living room, Tina had found Bette waiting there all packed up ready to leave. Tina could see the smoke in Bettes eye. She knew that look of want and confusion. Yeah she knew it well as it was the same look starring back at her when she had looked in that mirror before stepping into the living room.

Now lying here hours later Tina was plagued by that feeling. The increase in her heart rate, the sweating of her palms that occurred the moment Tina had entered Bettes space to pick Anna up. Tina loved the smell of Bette and Anna mixed together. As she held Anna on the way to her bed, Tina recognizes that Anna had Bettes smell about her. Tina was kidding herself as she thinks that she saw Bette approach her first and then felt the hairs stand up. It actually happened the other way around. Tina knew the moment Bette began to approach her. The hairs on her arm where one of a few warnings as Tina just sensed her approach. Then she went looking for confirmation by glancing into the mirror. What would I have done? I cant be mad can I? God I need to get some sleep. Tina says to herself as she punches the pillow and rolls over willing her mind to quiet down.

Still hours later, Tina couldnt sleep as she got up and went to get a drink of water. Standing over the kitchen sink Tina is asking herself again for the hundredth time that night why she didnt turn around and say something to Bette. Why did I let her just leave and not talk to her? God I just let her run out. If she was honest with herself she knows that she wanted Bette to touch her. Her heart is craving for Bette to put her strong arms around her so she once again can feel that sense of comfort that has only come by being in Bettes arms. Will I ever have the feeling of being safe again? The mere thought of Bettes touch sent a shiver down Tinas back. I thought having Bette as a friend would be enough. Why do I still feel this way? Tina is asking herself. What do I really want? What would happen if we do try and fail again? If its Bette why was I afraid? Oh God I dont know. Tina says to herself as she continues to hold the glass of water that she has not even touched.

***

Bette was just leaving her home office, having returned all her emails she was off to go see a good friend of hers that happened to be one of the corporate leaders in the LA area. Bette had decided to start her day out of her home office as this allowed her to avoid traffic as her appointment was closer to her home than the CAC. Her goal was to bring up the topic of corporate co-oping opportunities and if he would be willing to let his employees be the first in a trial. Bette had hoped this would go well as she really liked David and he always seemed to have the most open mind when it came to new concepts. He actually preferred to do business a little more unorthodox then many of the mainstream corporate leaders in town.

She had been trying not to think about Tina as much after walking out of Annas room the previous night. Tina had taken her time in saying good night to Anna. Bette had used that time to try to control her emotions, getting them under control before Tina returned to the living room to say good night to Bette. Bette thought about just leaving but thought Tina would find that rude and a little odd. Hoping that Tina had really not noticed Bettes failed attempt to wrap her up in her arms, Bette was just saying to herself Get a grip youre only friends. Tina had finally come out and seeing Bette already with her jacket said goodnight to Bette and thanked her for her services. Bette quickly left the house and promptly went for a drive that lasted hours.

Arriving at the corporate offices of the Accent Corporation, Bette exits her car hopefully leaving behind in the passenger seat all those thoughts of Tina to wait until she returned. Bette Porter here to see Mr. David McClarion. I have an appointment. Bette says going through the motions but still having Tina thoughts running in the back of her mind. What do I want? Bette youre in the background now stay there. You will only ***** it up again by getting involved with Tina in anything other than friendship. These were the thoughts racing through Bettes mind as she was shown into Davids conference room. Taking a seat Bette tries to focus on the conversation she wants to have. Role playing the words she was to use in her mind. This would hopefully get her mind off of anymore thoughts of Tina.

After waiting for a short period David made his way into the conference room. Walking into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand he immediately sets it down on the table to embrace Bette. God Bette its always good to see you. You just dont come around very much anymore. Can I get you a cup of coffee? he says as he stands there his shirtsleeves already rolled up as if he has been in the office since early this morning.

Yes coffee would be good but dont put yourself out. Bette responds to the warmth of this man.

Dont be silly. David says as he sticks his head out the conference room and asks someone to bring in another coffee.

Thanks David, how have you and your family been? Bette asks as she catches up with David.

With that David begins to describe how his son is becoming the second coming of Pele with his soccer skills. Being only 10 years of age its hard to tell were he will end up but right now we are having a lot of fun with it as I get to coach his team. David says. But thats enough of my soccer star Im sure thats not way you have come to see me today.

With that Bette gets into the reason of her visit. Bette was careful to introduce the idea of corporation needing to find an alternate way to contribute to foundations such as the CAC and other mentioning the Center. As she describes her upcoming project with Oscar and the Center she mentions the positive press she is hoping to gain and how that feel good feeling will hopefully be passed around for all. Still needing her board approval she was just feeling him out and would like his thoughts on the subject.

Well Bette I am intrigued with the idea. You know here at Accent we always try to find creative ways to fill needs and coming up with an alternative way to meet our civic responsibility would be an exciting trend to be on the edge of. David says eagerly.

Bette was glad to hear David reinforce what she thought his views would be. Having heard this she advances the thought that he may be interested in talking to Tina and Grace. Describing how it is a different project then the one the Center and the CAC are engaged in together but one that he might be interested as well. Agreeing to see them, Bette suggests that maybe an informal meeting would be appropriate. David agrees and actually suggests a local custard stand which David and his son and his sons soccer team frequent after every game. At this point David actually thanks Bette for looking out for the best interest of his company by passing along such an opportunity with the Center. Bette just blushes at that thought and thanks David for his time in response. Bette leaves David and Accent Corporation feeling that she had accomplished everything she had her mind set on today.

Leaving Accent Corporation, Bette makes her way over to the CAC and into her office. As soon as Bette entered her car, there waiting for her in the passenger seat were all her thoughts of Tina. Once again Bette was left wondering what direction her and Tinas new relationship would go. Were do I want this to go? If I push for a more substantial relationship and fail will I be out of Tina and Annas life? Do I risk that? These thought plagued Bette on her entire ride back to the CAC. Arriving at the parking deck, Bette tries once again to leave these thought of Tina in the car as she makes her way into the building.

As Bette walks in James hands her a stack of messages and Bette is grateful to have her hand and mind full for the rest of the morning. Glancing at the first note it was about Helena and the upcoming board meeting. Bette was once again glad she was out of Tinas life but regretted that she still had to deal with her as a member of her board. But first things first emailing Grace the information concerning David McClarion and how he could be the answer to the dilemma with the grant took precedent over anything the CAC needed her to do. Smiling Bette knew Grace and Tina were in for some ice cream tomorrow as they would be getting together to finish the grant.