“Tina, if you do this, you’re going to force Alice to face it too. Maybe she’s not ready to-

“Bette as much as I love you, I’m warning you not to even get close to that idea.”

“Do not talk to me like that! I am not some child that needs to be forewarned about my choice of words. You need to listen to me on this, your sister matters here. Her state of mind matters into this-“

“You don’t know my sister. She’s stronger than you give her credit for-”

“You think that if I didn’t trust Alice that I would leave her alone with Angie?!” Bette’s temper was peaked, she was on the verge of being livid. Tina was hearing her words but not listening to her, not taking into account her opinion and rationalizing with any thought. “Alice has been clean for 5 years now, you may be forcing more on her than she may be mentally ready to face. Have you considered that?”

“I don’t want to hurt her.” Tina said not looking at Bette. Hoping that her sincerity was penetrating. “I’m being chased.” She said out loud, finally able to put what this feeling was that ran through her the moment she sat down. It was in her words, and it was in the speed in which each memory poured out of her. Although Bette had only read one memory there were a million more behind that one, ones that were pressing to get onto paper. Even now sitting here trying to justify why she needed to get these out, there were sounds and ideas thrusting themselves to front of her mind.

“Can you understand that?” Tina asked as she folded her arms and looked to Bette for some sort of understanding. She knew that Bette was just now hearing about all of this but she needed her to understand why she had to do this. It wasn’t for the money or the opportunity to degrade her only living parent, it was so she could better understand herself. At 36 years old she still didn’t know why she did half the things she did every day. “Maybe this will help and maybe it won’t but I can’t see myself sitting at that desk typing anything else out. I don’t have it in me.”