As I take in her beauty once again, her grey eyes, creamy skin, and full lips, I realize quitting my favorite drug will be the hardest yet. I finally get my voice, “Hey yourself.” “You haven’t been around lately. What’s up,” she asks. I lie, “My father has been home lately but he had to leave at some point.” A smile spreads across her face and immediately entrances me. “Dance with me,” she demands more so than asks. I hesitate but she wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me closer to her. She slides her leg between mine and starts to grind to the beat.

Just like that I am under her control. Everything around us slips away as she leans in to kiss me. I open my mouth slightly, allowing her entrance. She thanks me by massaging my tongue with her own. A small moan escapes me as she gently bites down on my bottom lip. She leans back smiling and I brush her damp bangs away from her eyes. In that instant I am back on the edge, ready to fall.

As I look around her car I think about the old saying, “opposites attract.” Just by looking at the mess in her car one can tell that Taryn and I are complete opposites. Clothes line the back seat as Redbull and Coke cans are piled high on the floor. As we take the ride from Shots to her apartment, I try to map out new way to end things with her. “What’s wrong, babe,” she says successfully obliterating all of my thoughts with a simple stroke of her hand on my neck. I reply, “Nothing.” In strict Taryn fashion she accepts my answer, not because she believes me but because, her words not mine, it takes “too much energy,” to get the answers out of me. Someone might ask how I could love someone like that but they haven’t been on the receiving end of her completely disarming smile. They have not been looked at as if they are the only person in the world. They have not gone weak in the knees from her kiss. These are the reasons I love her as well as the reasons why I am leaving her. It just isn’t healthy to be with someone that holds so much power over you.