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Hindsight – Chapter 14
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I walk toward her prized possession, her Saab… it looked dusty, it looked grubby, it looked… it looked its age… I found it hard to swallow for a moment, this was something she looked after like a baby, well… like a baby since Angelica, but it came a close second… no actually it didn’t, it was always me and Angelica first, but it didn’t feel like it at times… or was it that I wanted more of what she had to give, was I feeling that whatever she gave wasn’t good enough, but it used to be…
I swallow that lump in my throat as I unlock her car, it was always enough, why did it start not being enough, why did I suddenly, or even gradually, feel that whatever she gave to me didn’t give me what I felt I needed…
Even when we were falling apart she put us first, how could someone be strong enough to do that, how can someone put their own emotions aside in order to allow the other person in their life to be themselves, allow that other person to trample on them from dawn to dusk, day after day, and yet she allowed ‘me’ to do that to her…
But that was me, not her… it was all about me… selfish thoughts, but that’s what it was, it was me that came to the decision that she wasn’t enough, it was me that really did put her down at every opportunity, it was me that turned my back on her at night, it was me that stopped listening when all she wanted to do was talk, it was me that shut her out…
I sigh as I take a seat behind the steering wheel of her car, but as I breath in, it was her… her car… her hands on this black leather wheel, her smell surrounding me, it was… it smelt… it… I close my eyes and take a deep breath, it was… intoxicating… completely and utterly provocative, it suddenly became like a stimulant injected into me, my eyes widened with the sensation around my nostrils as I breathed in deeply, I felt my chest expanding and m eyes closing, taking it all in, in this enclosed environment of what was just her…
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this was great
Awwww, Jo… that was so sweet. The Levis, the memory, the photograph… the love, the tears, the long-felt need… just beautiful. Thanks!!!
I know the idea about the photos was your own country bumpkin, sorry about that LMAO!!!!
So sad, and yet sort of happy. I loved the little flashback to the Porter ass stopping traffic. It’s like I told you the other day. Dean Porter is hot!!
I’m gonna cry
How about this name – do you like it?? We do and I’m sure JT does too LMAO!!!!! Loved the chapter.
Uh, Jo, you may just want to rethink that reincarnation as a pair of levis thing. I mean, just cause the pair you have in mind graces Bette’s posterior, it doesn’t necessarily follow that that would be the ass you end up on. (After all, if you’re reincarnated, that automatically means you’re not in heaven.) You might get stuck with Robbie Coltrane or something. Just think about it, that’s all I’m saying. Falls under “be careful of what you wish for”.
Hello jo, Well what you know, ANother tender and touvhing chapter from the emaculate writer that you are. The sentiment in this tale tugs at the heart-strings yet is not too saccharin and false. I believe that the honesty with which you write is the leveller your words. It is heartbreaking to read how two people can rip each other apart without realizing it and without malice. Please continue this tear jerking with your talented and skillful prose. Many thanks and appreciation. Your Loyal Fan.
You can really make a person cry, Its a happy time but yet so sad. Tina is doing all the thinking now .She knows she had more to do with the break than Bette. thanks so much for posting will take the long with the short ones. thanks
And now that I’ve read the story, I think my suggestion of extra diapers to accomodate the flood of sentimental tears I made last time still stands. I wonder if there’s a good way to wear them on the head without obstructing speech and vision?
OMG…thank god for the writers that are true Tibette fans. We will need you. : ) Thanks, Jo.
Damn Jo, you made me tear up! I am not goin to even acknowledge the fact that scene in the backyard is connected to to your other story. As I have stated before this story has no connection to anything except season 3. Post soon!
You are an amazing and intelligent writer. You don’t write down to us. And yet, it all seems so simple and perfect. Her smile is truly breathtaking. If Tom Cruise has the best “male” smile then Jennifer Beals definitely has the “female” equivalent. She truly can fill a room with her smile.
Jo, you did it again. This chapter was better then the last. JB in Levi’s would stop anyone dead in there tracks. I am glad Tina is thinking things out. Thank you PPS
I can see things improving between those two, theres a lot of hope, very good Jo. And azmama is so right when she says that JB can fill a room with her smile. She dazzles me everytime I see that bright smile of hers.
Yep, still get a lump in my throat reading this!…but im seeing hope there again…its still very sad and emotional…but there is a definate light at the end of the tunnel…another great one mate!
I agree with funnyone. You may end up on my ass and that’s not the best place to be. LOL Okay Tina has to pull it together and hurry up or she won’t be back in time.
Tina has a lot to make up for, but she’s making a good start…. enjoyed the post.
It sounds like Tina is coming to her senses and is remembering all her love for Bette. Maybe I should say all of Bette’s love for Tina and maybe just maybe there is that spark that is still smoldering in the ashes of their lives. With a little scattering of the ashes and memories may a spark again ignite the love of Tibette.
Hey Jo…thanks for posting. This is some emotional stuff girl…I love it. If Tina is gonna keep stopping and having these flashbacks…she’s gonna run out of time…she should have stayed at Bette’s ordered out and got Alice to get Angelica a outfit or 2…Is she gonna rethink her relationship with Henry next? I hope so.
I need a box of tissues! Anyone?
jo all of this is sweet
Your writing stirs so many emotions. Thanks for continuing the story.
i hope tina will make it in time but it’s nice to see that she noticed all those little things that bette was living with for the last 7 weeks
Absolutely fabulous !!! Your talent is amazing !! Thanks!!
Damn that was good, you made me cry my friend. This is will make Tina realized how much Bette love her and she have a lot to make up, and let it start mow. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Well, there simply are no words. I just can’t wait for your next chapter, Jobadge. I am anticipating it highly. You’re such an amazingly gifted storyteller ! You’re a blessing, Jo. Thank you so much !
How can you allways find those words that wrench a heart with pain and make it jump up with hope at the same time… This story, Jo… Its a piece of art, its a jewel, a pearl, and so many emotions, so muich love floating under the surface… I just had to secretly sign in at the hospital to leave you a coomment… Thank you, Jo… There are no words to describe your writing!
oh my god reading this at work is so dangerous. jobadge, your writing is so amazing. you succeeded to put tears in my eyes, so true and real.
TiBette forever…
Absolutely beatiful!
Ah mate, you’re definitely back in top form in the new year – this was truly amazing!!! I don’t get it, how can each post top the last one??? You can be her levis if I can be her thong LOL. More please xx
Whoa!!! That was an intense and sweetly poignant read…I am on tenterhooks here…PPS
Awesome writing Jo!