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Hindsight – Chapter 26
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She had been my family for nearly eleven years and now she wasn’t…, she wasn’t a part of my family anymore…, it was just me…, on my own for the last seven weeks and five days…, how could I make that pounding muscle inside of my chest realise that fact…, it had been doing a dance for most of the day…, the ups and downs of the emotional rollercoaster that was today…
My heart had flipped…, turned…, plunged…, beat furiously…, felt empty…, felt full… ish, it had leapt and dived within seconds of each other…, it had hope, but it also had despair…
How could I possibly understand how it was meant to feel, she had told me she wasn’t happy, that it wasn’t worth it…, but how did my heart cope with that information…
As I had walked back into Angelica’s bedroom, it seemed to feel lighter, I felt lighter knowing that she wasn’t happy, but I was also concerned for her, it was a tough situation that she found herself in, and I didn’t know whether I could or whether she would, allow me to help her out of that situation…
But with that lightness came heaviness…, I had wondered what had been said during her conversation with Henry… how he took the knowledge that she was here with me, the person she left to be with him…, we shared something unique…, we shared Angelica…, and we had shared so much more…
Did he really know that he now had the woman I loved beyond anything else…, did he really know how lucky he was to have Tina in his life…, but she had told me she wasn’t happy…, did that mean he wasn’t what she wanted in a man…, did he not treat her right…, because if he wasn’t treating her right then I think I would feel the need to express my opinion on that matter…, in private of course, Tina didn’t need to know… or maybe she did, wouldn’t that show her how much I still cared about her…, still loved her…, would always love her…
Did he know that she was my one and only…, I hadn’t really had that many thoughts about him before…, thinking about what he specifically had of mine…, he seemed a nice guy when I had met him… and the only thing that I would ever want is for him to appreciate the woman he was with… my Tina…
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Great update. Thanks so much.
Your family should leave you to your own devices more often. Excruciatingly beautiful. Jo, haven’t they suffered enough? They both realize what they both miss. PPS if you can.
great update, minus the fingernails…I love this story.
I love the way you write. You explain in such detail so that we can see and feel everything. I love it. Great update. I’m ready for them to work on them so they can eventually get back together (if thats where your taking them). PPS
Geez, Jo, I wish you’d get us to that sunny southern California park already cause it’s currently 7F/-15C here with a nice strong wind. Only going to get colder the next few days. What the fuck am I doing here? God, I wish our girls weren’t so reluctant to lay their respective cards on the table, it would only do them good, but I guess with all the pain they’ve inflicted on each other some reserve is to be expected. Too bad.
That’s so sad. Henry needs to let that fish go or the fish should swim away and come back to Bette.
So what did you do to get left home alone this weekend? Just don’t feed the pigeons or ducks or anything, we don’t want you getting mad bird disease.
LOL @ funnyone! :PThey are both hurt and I think they should really talk. Maybe this picnic time could be a good opportunity to a bigger step forward…
great update jo! keep yourself out trouble if possible..lol p.p.s.
My heart is beating faster knowing that they are lost without the other half of their soul. Somehow, someway they have to get that super glue (Angelica) to piece their torn, worn out hearts back together so that their hearts will beat as one again.
yeah, i agree…why would anyone want to look at ther fish when you already got the one that you want? :-) looking forward to the next one!
jo jo jo seriously these one pagers with all this angst has me addicted!!
Heart wrenching and beautifully written. Please pps.
Tina might need to learn to swim upstream to get her heart back where it belongs thanks
Damn, I could get used to this. So glad you are off and able to devote your time to writing. Love this story.
You are definitely using your time to its full potential. Thanks for another great chapter.
Another great update…got me teary eyed again. I like how you are spending your time alone this weekend. :) Maybe another update tomorrow?? Pretty please! :)
WOW….AMAZING!!!! Bette is the only fish for Tina too. You’re the best mate. BTW, still can’t email you, f*cking Outlook!!! xx
HMMMMMMMM…hope tina’s for real…enuff friggin’ around imo…
Every little detail – “as I had to adjust the seat to where I usually had it” – you just capture it all so that it is painfully real. Just great Jo!
Sweet remmembrances, mixed with the pain of the current situation and the many unknowns and insecurities==wow, Jo, what a tale you are weaving! Thank you so much!
great
Owie. :( Tina will always belong to Bette, end of discussion, as if it ever were one. I definitely understand Bette’s feeling of ‘forever’; for some people, there just AREN’T other fish in the sea. (And some of us are still sitting with our lines cast out ;) )
Well, we all know that Bette is Tina’s fish too… I just hope Tina has the guts to let her know. You’re definately using your weekend to its full potential… thank you for letting us benefit from this time on your own.
Nice update!
That had to be tough for Bette, to het into the car and see those pics again. I wonder if Tina notice d her hesitation or putting the pictures back up to drive to the park. Post soon, I’m hooked (just like a drug addict, but in a good way) LOL.
Good chapter. Keep them talking and open up to each other more. Now let see the family play in the park, they will be happy and have a good time. OK post soon please, thanks! So glad to catch up with your story and love it!
I said Yea yea! Thanks for the update. LUV it.