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Hindsight – Chapter 35
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She smiled at me and I saw her hand rise, toward my cheek…, her fingertips barely touched my skin before dropping back to her side, almost as if she had scolded herself…, I felt a lump appear in my throat as I saw the defeated look in her eyes, it was as if she told herself she had no right for her hand to be there…
Her words suddenly brought my thoughts back to her suggestion of me lying down…
“Go ahead, have a rest while Angelica is sleeping…”
“Thank you…” I said quietly.
As I began to walk away, my fingers interlaced with hers, I wanted them too, I wanted to feel her touch, just the briefest touch, I wanted to feel that there was still that connection between us, I don’t think I had any doubts in my heart that it would always be there, but I knew by touch, the moment we always touched…, I knew there was a connection like no other I had ever experienced, and there never would be again, apart from with her…
As my small steps brought distance between us, our arms rose, still linked in the centre by our fingers…, when the distance became too far for our extended arms, the slow descent as our touch was broken was felt through every fiber of my being…, my arm floated back down to my side…
My steps took me towards the bedroom, I felt her gaze on me, I felt her eyes roaming me…, I took a deep breath as I saw the bedroom door, what used to be the bedroom where we shared our love for one another, the bedroom she had told me that she couldn’t bear to sleep in as the fear ripped through her when the realization that we were no more hit her senses of awakening.
I walked up to the door, my focus on the room ahead, I stepped over the threshold and into the haven…, the chair was still there, the chair I sat in last night as I watched the two Porter’s sleep, the side of the bed where she had slept was still unmade, understandable in the circumstances…
My eyes once again go over all the details of the room, I found a wave of emotions roll over me as the feelings of safeness and longing wrapped around me, this room always made me feel safe and…, something else…, a sense of being in a place I was meant to be…, I couldn’t think of the word that described how it made me feel…
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Ok, seriously, I wanted to mention this to you… JB. How does she keep getting hotter? It’s just wrong, right? I knew, somewhere, you were sitting there in awe just as much as I was… I just… oh my god. Anyway, this post was heartbreakingly beautiful, which I’m sure I’m said before, but it still goes. Tina could always go, talk to Henry, and come right back… Maybe? Fantastic, mate, it’s just too good. Kettle x
Damn. I understand that before Tina can stay, she has to go, but that had to be hard. Tah,tah, Henry. Bette needs to propose Tina and Angelica stay with her.
This is probably going to be one of the longest nights ever, for both of them. At least Bette has Angelica this time. Tina’s wondering how she can make it up to Bette… she can start by ditching the dullard, coming back, and then never leaving Bette again. Yeah, one can dream, but what a difference a single day has made so far… Great as always, Jo. And congrats on the new awards.
Congratulations on your two wins for the lastest awards. Even though this story is heart breaking it gives one hope. The hope that love can conquer all is what life is all about. Tina is finally coming to the realization that she made some very bad decisions and now is wanting to make them right. Telling Henry that it is over is one step in the right direction. Moving out to an apartment is another step, although I would love to see her move back in with Bette the apartment is the best step at this point.
If Bette had said to me “I don’t want you to go” We would have gone to our grave with me glued to her I know before Bette and Tin can be together Tina needs to get her life in order. Bette will understand this.because Tina left Angie with her. Bette is so fragile in this. Tina didnt understand that she was the stronger one in their life. thanks
Congratulations again, Jo. You deserved it. I think it shows growth on Tina’s part to go finish it with Henry before attempting anything else, but we know perfectly well that she will make the attempt, and soon. Fortunately these two seem to have discovered that the reason for their tears isn’t utterly irrevocable.
congratulations Jo on those awards! You deserve all you get. Your story is fantastic!please post soon! Thank you.
Simply brilliant. The rare writer can take small events in life and describe them so perfectly that we all understand and feel them deeply. That’s who you are.
heartbreaking in a good way…break up with henry in 1 minute and spend eternity with bette
Congrats Jo. Loved the post.
Another great chapter. Congrats on the award.
Go Tina! It’s time to start righting the wrongs and come home to her two Porter girls!
Yayyy Tina gonna dump hendick and hurry get back to Bette!
So beautiful even though the hurt and the pain screams out of the screen. Go on. Thanks.
Fuck going back in the morning. Dump Henry’s butt and go back to Bette. Worry about everything else in the morning.
Jo, wow, you are the total Queen of the stories that all unfold withing a few hours or days…you give us an insight that would otherwise be missed…thanks doesn’t seem quite enough
“I..don’t want you to go” heartbreaking, but also a brave line by Bette in this difficult situation…..fuck I just love a vulnerable BP!!! Yes Tina, your heart is longing to come home – home to your woman. BTW I’m sure Tina have missed other things than aroma to tease her (senses)!!! LOL – brilliant post x
Jo, Gal that was powerful stuff. The emotional impact of this tale hits you like a double barreled shotgun. BAM, Bette’s turmoil hits you then BAM Tina’s confusion adds the second blow. This pain and hurting is intense but hopefully the gals are starting to see the journey’s end. Wonderful that hope has sprung however tiny into their lives again. jo, you have a real flair and attention to the tiniest of feelings. I am wring out emotionally after each chapter. Please continue soon. Many thanks from your Your Loyal Fan.
Jo, jo, jo… never apologize for the story being longer than usual!! lol! it could be 8 pages and still not enough! this story is so beautiful, heartbreaking, insightful… and now I see hope! well done! can’t wait to the next chapter! (love both povs)
Sometimes words can not suffice… How can I find words to anwer your touching once? How can I comment on a story that is so delicate, fragile and yet so strong it takes my breath away, and do it justice? I once was compared to a pianist for writing by my friend, Therese… And when I read YOUR words, my dear friend, I can hear the melody… I can here the sounds you have evoked, the music that touches our hearts so deeply… The feelings you can express with these letters, just by putting them in a certain order. You make hearts wrench and eyes water… You, my dear Jo, are a writer, in every sense of the word… Pls bless us with your amazing talent again soon, and blow us away with this story!
Jo you are an amazing writer. This was absolutely beautiful.
Excellent chapter….as always!
Exquisite chapter Jo! Love this :) At last action from Tina. Great! And u never need to apologize for long chapters Jo :)
dang, so heartwrenching and hopeful at the same time. made all the more poignant since i’ve all but given up any hope that i’ll see anything remotely resembling this on screen. thank you so much
Absolutely amazing Jo…and I have no problem with longer – feel free to slip a few extra sentences into a chapter anytime! LOL! Ahhh yes…JB continues to improve in all aspects. Thanks for the sweet visual of her in that white vest and Levis! Excellent post. Your writing is so eloquent. And I love how you are letting us know what each of them is thinking.
Great chapter mate. Good to see that Tina is doing the right thing and telling Henry before it goes any further. I wonder what Bette will be thinking while she is gone.
Beautiful story. Sometimes this story makes me cry.
you’re killing here Jo! but in a good way. love your story!
Wow a little break and BAM! That was G.O.O.D!I’m a little speechless after that chappy Joe.You deserve every award you recieve. please post soon!
Man thats beautiful. Glad Tina is going to talk to Henry b/c she needs to get rid of him and figure things out so that she can move home again to her family. Amazing writing, thanks. PPS
Mmmmm, this was so close to perfection. Now is the time when Tina has to gather all her strength and do the right thing. And after she has told Henry what he needs to know, she should HURRY back home…. where her wife and child are waiting. Please, Jo… let Tina make it up to Bette. LOL… I’m whining, I know… sorry!
Hey..Well im not sure i could have been as strong as Tina in that situation, but she has to do the right thing…and the sooner the better..then she needs to come home, where she truly belongs..This story has always been hard on the poor heartstrings…but there has always been hope, sometimes hidden, but always there!..and beautifully written…
Perfect! Go Tina you can do it girl, it’s time to fight for your family! Congrats for the chapter, excellent as always!
You write with such incredible intensity Jo. And although I’m really enjoying this story, I don’t enjoy is feeling like I need a drink after reading it. ;) Well, sometimes I enjoy that too! Congratulations on your well deserved awards. Very cool.