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    Hindsight – Chapter 36

    Story written on February 23, 2007 by Jobadge.
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    2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 45
    Words: 4754
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=64675
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: My heart was crying out for her, didn’t she hear it calling to her…

     

    We talked about hindsight earlier in the car, but really what hindsight gave me, it was a life lesson…, it gave me the insight to make changes, but I wondered if I was too late to make them…, maybe I had already started, I had no choice but to allow those changes to creep into my life when she was gone all those weeks, but what about now…, if she was a part of my life then it would be that the most painful thing I had ever experienced in my life  was also the thing that taught me the lessons in my life that I’ll learn from…

     

    I stood then, another sigh, but it was because I was feeling the effects of the day, it had been draining…, I would go and check on Angelica… I smiled then, my daughter…, she was really here with me, and she would be with me until tomorrow.

     

    I stepped quietly into her bedroom, but my eyes widened as I saw that she was sitting quietly playing with her toys, she turned and looked at me with those big brown eyes and smiled…

     

    God… I felt blessed to have this child in my life, my chest swelled with pride as I picked her up in my arms and felt that feeling of love wash over me…

     

    We went into the lounge then and played, we tipped all her toys over the floor and we just played, we played and laughed.  I made stupid noises, making her toys do silly things, just so I could see that smile, so I could hear her giggle…

     

    I had missed her so much…

     

    We were busy playing for over an hour, I didn’t want to waste any minutes with her…, my daughter…, when she became disinterested we went into the kitchen, scrabbling around in the cupboards to find sustenance, and find it I did, after a trial…

     

    I managed to make us a meal which we both devoured with a vengeance, my mind slipped to Tina on numerous occasions, wondering…, how could I not wonder about her and what she was doing…, if I’m honest I hadn’t stopped thinking about her…, every time I looked at Angelica I see her…, she may have my skin colouring, my curls, my deep brown eyes, but there was Tina too, it was plain to see and I knew those strings around my heart pulled tighter when I looked into Angelica’s eyes as well as when I looked into Tina’s…  They were both a part of me…

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    Comments

    2. … I should have known you had something up your sleeve. It was just going too well, wasn’t it? ;) Fantastic as always. Barely any time has actually passed in your story, yet each moment is so beautifully worded that keep forgetting it’s been, what, a day? Kettle x

    7. For the love of… why, *w h y* did you stop it there? Now I’m all anxious… I can see I’m going to have to fire up another happy dvd. Or fire up something… You’ll have to post soon Jo and put everyone’s mind at ease… please?

    10. OMFG , you and NYGayLady are in this mission together, pls say no pls tell me it’s not true. You’re both bent on making us suffer, Tibette forever, pls jo, 2x in one day, my tibette heart just can’t take this….

    13. This is just not right. I get the feeling Tina has been hurt, and if so it better not be bad. And if Henry did it, he better start running. Please don’t let them lose each other.

    15. Damn Jo…your writing ability just leaves me speechless. Sometimes I have to stop reading to take a few deep breaths. I don’t realize that I am holding my breath, but I am. Please please please Jo, let our T be alright. If Henry has hurt her I’m going to somehow reach into cyberspace and kick his sorry ass. Congrats on your awards…you totally deserve them! Your cliffhangers are adding years to my life! More Jo! More! And soon please!

    18. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! That’s about all I can manage to say right now! *gets down on knees and begs* Please, please, please, please post soon! Oh and congratulations on the award :)

    20. Ok a woman receives a much deserved award and celebrates it by leaving us hanging like this! – damn that’s an abuse of power – you write so powerfully and beautifully I am in awe. And pissed off to be dangling with worry ; )

    21. Did dat fucker put his hands on her?!?! SON OF A BITCH!!! I’m at work right now and I’m bored as shit. But this story is just so damn captivating, I can’t pull myself away 2 attempt 2 get anything done. Please post soon. PEACE.

    22. was she in an accident? did henry hurt her? please, keep tina safe…they are just getting it all together…pps…..and congrats on the awards

    24. Well, It just may be the Drama award next time round!..lol…i find it hard to believe that you would let anything really bad happen to either of them..But one never knows!!!!!

    25. You have me really really worried right now. Tina has finally worked through her true emotions only to have something happen to her. It could be an auto accident or something that Henry did to her but she has to survive. Tina has to be alright now that the lines of communication have been opened up. Love can and will conquer all when it comes to Bette and Tina.

    31. Oh, no…. you better not keep us waiting, Jo… cause the suspense is killing me here. Please let Tina be safe… Congrats on your awards – as always – they are much deserved.

    32. hey Jo – well all us badgers are just thrilled that our fav writer has won another two awards — but what was that you said the other day about wanting to be drama queen one day ? i was thrilled that you won two awards. You sure let your writing do all your talking for you. and i am looking forward to your new story. though if you are chasing the DQ award let me just remind you what you are up against in a certain other story – how the hell are we going to survive without you when you go on holiday ? hugs as always mate x

    33. OMG!!! What happened to Tina?!?! I become crazy if I have to wait all the weekend for an answer!!! So please post soon, very soon! And congrats on the awards.

    34. It would be in perfect line with the title of your story that Tina has somehow died. However reading this otherwise amazing story of yours has been one heartbreak after another, so please spare us this one.

    35. Awwwww sweetie thank you for the Author Note, your words mean so much….and you know I feel the same about you :o)) Glad I know what’s next coz ending the chapter right there is so cruel LOL!!! Once again congrats with well deserved awards, you’re the best!!! xx

    36. Oh, my God ! What happened ? What happened ? I knew something had happened to Tina… I knew it. Where is chapter 37 ?Jo, this chapter was just fantastic. Actually, it was more than that, it was simply…perfect. Beautiful, moving, soothing, … Needless to say your cliffanger is excruciating, which only proves how talented you are. BTW, congratulations on your new awards ! You sooooo deserve them.

    37. This is SO NOT RIGHT! Congrats on the award! Look seriously though we have already been deprived of Tina for half of season 4 – please just a tiny, tiny bit of Tibette happiness?! ;o)

    38. Now I understand why your writing about Bette and Angelica’s relationship is so amazing… Okay, Jo, if this is an attempt at racing for the “Heart attacks R us – drama” award, let me tell you that you’re spot on!!!… The whole building scene until the “It’s Tina” was really intense… I’m now biting my nails with these million scenarios going around in my head… And I do have a few scary ones… So please post soon and end my agony!… Oh, and NO, it’s not just sex and comedy with you… It’s everything at the same time! And I’ll take the bet right now that you’re indeed very capable to win an award in every single category!!! Sex, done! Comedy, done! Short story, done! Not too worried about the “Most romantic”, “ongoing series”, and “drama” (as you just proved to us), and I just KNOW that you’ll get the Bomb award, there is not a single doubt in my mind… The only award i’m concerned about is the “Non-traditional pairing or storyline”, don’t get me wrong, I know you could easily get it, but just stick to non-traditional STORYLINE, pleaaase? ;) Oh, and I never bet unless I know I’m gonna win! ;)… Okay, Jo, all this ranting just to tell you: With you, it’s NOT just sex and comedy, take my word for it…

    41. i am always so afraid to read this but i know i have to. it hurts because i recognize. but leaving us here hanging with this huge lump in our stomac is even crueler. but it is so an amazing story. thanks.

    43. Wow, you and NY are really taking us out for a spin today. I hope Tina is okay. This story is so well written, though; I always look forward to a new chapter. So congrats!

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