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Hindsight – Chapter 8
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“Tina, my passion walked out of here seven weeks and five days ago, my passion left me… its gone, I have no passion in my life, I have nothing in my life, it’s empty… I go to work, I come home and eat, I throw up and I drink, I drink until the pain goes away, but it never does, it never goes away, I’m empty and my life is empty…”
Well that was a punch in the face, she said it how it was, she was being brutal with her words and I knew I deserved them, every single bitter word she uttered I deserved.
She had just sad she came home and eat, she eat and threw up, it’s what I thought, what I had thought when I saw her last night, she was throwing up, then drinking herself into oblivion, drinking until it didn’t hurt anymore, but it didn’t go away, I knew it didn’t go away, whatever way you tried to get rid of it, mask it, ignore it, it never went away.
I knew there was so much more of that to come, it didn’t matter how I tried to explain how I was feeling at the time of the demise of our relationship, I knew that I didn’t go about it in the right way, I could have talked to her so much more than I did, I could have been honest with myself to start with.
“It’s not empty…”
“Really? Tell me what I’ve had to live for?”
I couldn’t really answer that, I had taken her daughter away from her, the one thing she clung to, the one thing she loved unconditionally and I had taken her away, I had taken her choices away.
“What about your art…”
“It’s not the same, I see different things in art now…, I see the darkness…, I see the loneliness…, I see the emptiness…”
“You’re scaring me…” her words penetrated my chest, I felt physical pain at hearing her words, she really had reached the lowest point in her life.
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ahh that last line!! i would of broke down in tears once again!! good lord the intensity
OMG what a cliffy!!! You better post reeeeeaaaaally soon, how about lunch time tomorrow?? Big overlap, loved that….and I can’t wait to hear T’s response. I hope she will think before speaking, something she haven’t done in the last chapters. Great work Jo xx
yes! now the ball is in Tina’s court and i hope that she will honest with Bette, they can heal up together. Good thing that you work doesn’t keep you busy
Ooooo, so good… Come on Tina. You can do it. Fix everything, Jo, please?
jo….very nicely done. Pls con’t…..
That was heartbreaking but the end left me feeling hopefull.
WOW!!! Jo Just Great!!! Tina needs to really think before she speeks. She needs to stanf=d behind what she say’s. Thank you PPS
It just so good mate, and powerful.
That was also evil, leaving us there, another great chapter by yourself, Hope they can get over the pain and hurt
It is powerful and painful to watch these two try and work out some of what is going on in their heads. I know that Bette still loves Tina beyond anything in this world and my guess is that Tina has also come to that conclusion. Where do they go from here and is there a chance that they can work out the relationship that I feel in my heart they want with each other?
I’m not sure how Tina should answer that last line. If she says she didn’t miss Bette, then we all know that’s a lie. If she says she DID miss Bette, Bette could explode and ask why the hell she stayed gone for so long.
the last line just reminds me of season 3 when bette said the same thing and tina just began talking about angelica…i can’t wait to see her reply in the next chapter…thank you
Whatever she says I hope it dosen’t cause an argument. Bette is so fragile right now.
This was an incredible chapter. The ending was so powerful.
please continue soon…this is excellent…poor Angel!!!!she must feel the grief between her moms.
please continue soon…this is excellent…poor Angel!!!!she must feel the grief between her moms.
God….I hope Tina and Bette can through all this pain. Thanks for the update Jo…pps
Thankyou for posting so often, it helps when your reading something so powerful…
The usual good stuff!…And short chapters but often..which is good too…Nice one!
I’ve read all your stories and every single one is wonderful. You seem to write with a poetic nerve that most people can only dream of achieving. You get a ton of well-deserved praise through these comments… so this one may seem redundant. Still, I don’t think we can celebrate your writing enough – therefore, thanks for another great chapter. I think you capture the diversity of Tina and Bette’s perspectives in a very elegant way. Please post soon…
OK, Tina, time to dig deep. Whatever you say, make sure you really mean it. Make sure you can live it.
Wow, Jo. Amazing writing as always! It certainly helps to have both their viewpoints. C’mon Tina say what’s really in your heart …
We also love it when work doesn’t keep you too busy, Jo.
Damn I can’t read right now…a hungry SD is on the warpath and wants to go now LOL. Has to be later mate xx
this is the first story that literally made me cry… i bow to you, you realy know how to evoke the right feelings… post soon :)
Oh my fucking god… Im sorry didnt mean to swear, but can someone please get this woman to write all her life? Thank you Jobadge!
Like Tina Turner….you are simply the best! OK, Tina Kennard. Ball’s in your court.
Damn this is so good. Now its time for B&T to get back together, they will talk more and work thing out. Hope Tina will dump henrydick soon. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Gosh you’re good jo. I wonder if you know it? Another excellent and heart- wrenching, yet somehow comforting chapter. So much emotions in your written words,kinda scary actually. I’m beginning to feel a bit for Tina. I think she now realizes the pain she’s caused with her actions, and wants Bette to forgive her. I forgive her Now.I honestly don’t think she ever stopped loving bette,but perhaps she tried to stop loving her and just couldn’t. So much love there, and it so obvious. I wonder what Tina’s response will be to hearing bette say those words?Please post soon.