Fan Fiction
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Hippocampus Chapter 1
Me.
Shit.
‘Look, I can explain. I really don’t know how I got here and I really don’t mean any harm or mean to interrupt but wow, you can really bounce that…’ I stopped. She was staring at something at my feet and was ignoring me completely.
Before I could react, the girl had picked up the menacing G.I. Joe figurine. ‘You tell Mum and I’ll twist off the head of Mr. Joe.’
Phew. She can’t see me, or didn’t see me. Neither did she seem to hear me. Oh well, kids nowadays.
The boy glared at his sister, who was gleefully making twisting motions at Mr. Joe’s head. ‘Mum! Dana is killing Mr. Joe! Mum!’
I heard a pattering of feet. A few moments later, a blonde lady in her late 30s came into the room.
One look at her and I instinctively straightened up. Stop slouching. Stand up straight. Her voice said in my head. I could feel her fingers lightly tapping my shoulders and instructing my extensor muscles to forcibly push the joint backwards.
Where did that come from?
‘What’s the matter, Howie?’ Gosh, she sounds just like how she sounded in my head.
‘Dana was going to kill Mr. Joe, Mum! And she’s still hanging out with the gangster girl, Sarah!’
‘Howie, you are not to say the word “gangster†again. And don’t you go using that word to label people.’ The lady’s tone was strict and her eyebrows knitted together.
Somehow, that look struck fear in me. I think I almost shuddered.
‘But I always hear you and Daddy call Sarah gangster!’ Howie answered indignantly.
‘Now don’t you talk back at me like that. And pick up your toys. Why are they all over the room?’
‘But…’ The boy wanted to protest but stopped short, realizing it would only get worst if he did. He went around the room sulking, reluctantly grabbing Power Rangers, Mr. Joes, Hot Wheels cars and gathering them in a pile.
The lady had now turned towards the girl.
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(36 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
wow – i am really intrigued. great writing. please continue – and fast.
My Danish/twin telepathy has drawn me to your fic… That. Or your direction to it. Finally a Danish writer that is out of her eerie hibernation! And what a great way to start off a chapter with an interesting POV. Nice, Wischnia! You know what else is ‘gangsta’? Howie secretly owning a barbie doll. We just don’t know it yet. More ‘Piece-a-Key’ please! asap.
i dont get it, will someone explain so i dont feel like a idiot :(
Narrator is Dana’s spirit, so all this happens after Dana’s death (or maybe while Dana’s in coma :P).
coll: Anni_M is right. Hope that has cleared your doubts. But of course the possibilities are endless: Alice could be on drugs and suffering from the sides effects of hallucinations and amnesia, or Danish could have taken a leaf from Sharmen and are playing a game of their own called ‘Too forgetful’. Anni_M: LOL, other than being my Yoda, have you doubled up as my secretary as well? Haha thanks anyway! Red: How did you guess? Howie has more barbie dolls than Dana and he plays with them while wearing a Strawberry Shortcake T-shirt.
I’m loving it…really curious what’s going to happen next. Please continue!
Can you hear the hands clapping all over the place? I can. Great job with this new fic. Finally we get something different from what we’ve used to. Updates, please!
wow this is really awesome, please continue. i’m incredibly interested. i like the way you’ve written this one
wow… You’re writing style is truely amazing… I’m hoping Dana is in a coma or something… *plzdontletherbedead…*
Hey, great point of view! Very “lovely bones-ish”…and that’s a very good thing. Nice style! Looking forward to your future posts. Thanks for putting it out there…
great start can’t what to see what is going on here please post soon
hello darling!!! guess who?? hee. no prize for guessing though:P anyway, just wanna tell you i really like your fanfic!! muahh! love love!!