It was well past 9 in the evening when Bette returned home that day. The gray skies that permeated the daylight hours gave way to dark purple night skies as the brunette walked into the silent house. Her first thought upon entering was of course, Tina. Her ex, her best friend, the single person that had been in her thoughts since she had left Los Angeles; and if she was honest with herself, the person that had invaded her thoughts since they met as high school freshman. The day had past before she had realized, and she was dreading coming back to this house. After hours of thinking she still had no idea what to say to Tina. What do you say after finding out that the love of your life has a child? How are you supposed to feel? There wasnt enough time in the world for her to get used to this, and she hadnt made any progress in trying to sort out the million questions she hadbecause the only one that held the answers was Tina. She admitted to herself just minutes before that she was scared to fin out the answers but she knew she couldnt ignore Tina forever. So, resigning herself to the fact that she was going in blind, Bette knocked on the guest room door softly. It creaked open slightly when her knuckles rapped against the wood, instead of waiting for an invite she opened pushed it open the rest of the way. Immediately she was met with a blast of cold air, she was sure that you wouldve been able to see your breathe if there was more light than the small table lamp in the room. For a moment when she entered Bette caught herself thinking of the movie The Exorcist and was not comforted by the thought of Tina sitting up in bed, tossing expletives and pea soup. Her face settled into an easy and calmed smile though when she saw her blonde love sitting on the window seat. It was hard to look at Tina and be reminded of what was lost between them, but since Tina had come to Philadelphia, Bette sensed such a huge change in the girl that she had held on such a high pedestal. She always believed that Tina was so strong, and to see that she had fallen so hard from that place in Bettes mind, made her heart ache. Slowly she made her way to where Tina was sitting with her head rested on the window. Without thinking about it she sat at Tinas feet with her back against the glass and quietly listened to the rhythmic inhale and exhale of the other girls breath while her mind raced about her next steps. She couldnt figure out what Tina wanted from her? Money? No Tina never wanted her moneyWhat else could there be? What the ***** was she running from? And why now? Thoroughly conflicted Bette continued to watch Tina, shed missed her friend and was ecstatic that shed come all this way, but at the same time she wanted to yell and scream at the girl; shake her and ask her why she never called or wrote to talk to her before she got to such a low place. Closing her eyes she lent her head against the cool support behind her and pressed her fingers against her temples. She could have sighed, she didnt remember doing so, but within seconds Tina was shifting beside her and kicked her in the thigh forcefully. Before she could control herself she jumped from her seat grabbing her leg and yelped out, *****! The sudden movement and noise jolted Tina awake, *****! Bette?! What the ***** are you doing? Apparently being Tae Bo-ed to death trying to be near you while youre sleeping. She said while rubbing her soon to be bruised upper leg. Tina sat up straighter and shook the sleep from her brain. You were watching me sleep? Bettes cheeks flushed as she looked away from Tinas gaze. No, IWell you seeI at a loss for words she just gave up and nodded while Tina laughed. Its okay, I was teasing. Bette just nodded as they settled into an uncomfortable silence that lasted until they both tried to talk at once. Tina I think that we Look Im sorry They both stopped and Bette motioned for Tina to go ahead. Im really sorry for just showing up like this Bette. I know it was stupid and selfish of me to try and expect you to, I dont know, fix me. I cant tell you how sorry I am for leaving things so horrible for so long between us, but today, I found this in my bag, as she motioned to Bette with the book in her hand, and for some reason, just being in your house and just thinking about how we used to be Its like I just had this light go off. Im ready to start getting my life together again. Tina finished with a bright smile on her face that was close to making Bette drool. The blondes smile was contagious as Bette caught herself grinning. Thats really great Teebut I need to ask you something? Tina nodded her okay. Wheres your baby? Sliding off of the window Tina sat on the bed and motioned for Bette to sit with her. Hes with my mom. I just left him there. She answered sadly. Noticing Tinas dejectedness Bette shifted closer and gently entwined their fingers to comfort her former lover. Why didnt you bring himwhats his name? Evander ChaseEvan She smiled. Why didnt you bring Evan with you then? She looked at Bette like she had asked her to solve world hunger. I dont know reallyI felt like I was suffocating. It was the same thing everyday, my life became feedings and diaper changes, crying and bed times. I realized that I may never have the chance to do what I want when I want. I guess I panicked. Plus I think it was shock enough showing up here alone, I couldnt imagine your face if Id shown up with a nine month old. I probably wouldve passed out they both giggled like the teenagers they used to be before Bette asked the hardest question of her life. Are you still with Evans dad? Tina wasnt expecting that question, Bette noticed the color drain from Tinas face. Uh-no-nowe werent ever really together. Tee? Whats wrong? What happened? Tina hadnt told anyone about what had happened, and her tears were now flowing freely down her face. She figured if anyone would be there to piece her back together, it would be Bette. She looked at Bette who was so concerned and worried, even after all that Tina had told her about what a horrible person shed becomeand it made her cry even harder; sobs shaking her body. Bette pulled Tina into her and tried to calm her down. Tina, sweetie its okay. You know you can always tell me anything. She sat there for over a half an hour while Tina cried, not saying anything, only stroking the blondes silky hair. Pulling back after her tears were dried and she stopped shaking Tina looked straight at Bette, afraid that telling Bette this last thing would be the straw that breaks the camels back. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and rubbed at the dried salty feeling in her eyes. Can you promise me something Bette? The brunette looked confused but nodded anyway. I want to tell you something but you need to promise me this okay? Bette nodded again, Of course Tina. Tina looked down warily. I want you to promise that you love me even though Im not perfect. Im sorry if I let you down, but I just need to know that you will still love me even if Im notperfect. Bette felt her heart break again. Teegod Tina She pulled her into her arms, I will always love you, I dont care if you went crazy and tried to kill meit would never make me stop loving you. She pulled back and made Tina look at her. Okay? Tina nodded. Why are you so upset?