Chapter 3

Across town at Dr Wilson’s office, Tina was having a routine prenatal check. Dr Wilson was surprised to hear that Tina had not told Bette about the pregnancy. Tina explained that she did not initially tell Bette about the pregnancy because she did not want to add to Bette’s stress, in case she had another miscarriage. When she and Bette separated she did not have a reason to tell her. She did not want Bette coming back to her just because of the baby. She actually had not told any of her friends for fear that they might accidentally tell Bette. Despite their spliting, she wanted this baby. She looked forward to having this child even more than she did before.

She recognized that although they were separated, with no apparent reconciliation in sight, that this was their child. This child was emotionally conceived by love years ago but physically conceived under love strained weeks ago. She was now clearly showing and knew she would have a hard time continuing to hide the pregnancy.  But as long as Bette was with Candace she would not tell Bette. Why would she? Why use it as a lure to bring Bette back to her if Bette did not want to come back to her.

She had asked Bette not to come back to her unless she knew it was totally over with Candace. She did not want any part of Candace in their lives. Clearly, it was not over now weeks later. Bette had made no effort to contract her, via phone, in person or even subtly through friends. Maybe it would never be over between Bette and Candace. She reconciled herself to the fact that she would be a single parent. It seemed Bette had made her choice and she choice was not her.

The mere fact that she thought independently of Bette when she made another attempt of insemination without Bette’s knowledge, was a sign of her increasing independence and separation emotionally from Bette. Despite allowing Bette to control practically all aspects of their live and relationship, this secret insemination and pregnancy was a step towards her reemerging as an independent and self-realizing woman.

She recalled their last night together after she confronted Bette with the affair. Bette did not even try to deny it. How could she? Tina knew Bette. She knew simply from her subtle touches how Bette felt about Candace. The touch and look Bette and Candace shared was all she needed to see to know they were lovers. Now Bette’s over reaction to Tina’s asking Candace to help at the center make perfect sense.