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    I Will Not Let You Fall

    ”Please don’t think that I’m trying to justify myself, because you have no idea how dangerous the other side of my life is. I guess I was blocking off your potential entrance into it by keeping back the truth. I admit that I did it with selfish intentions, because if I came clean you’d have left me anyway. When the secret was revealed, I was so not ready for it. I was lost in you, the feelings I had for you had reached its peak by that time. My secret seemed so imperceptible to me anymore, it’s like it was supposed to be that way. And then Jodi Lerner popped up and did the job for me. Part of me is somewhat grateful to her for this exposure. I don’t know if I ever would have gained enough courage to tell you everything myself–” Bette’s voice cracked slightly. She brought her knees up and placed her elbows on them as she continued. ”After you found out, I was relieved and crushed at the same time. There even were some moments when I was really happy for you. You were out of my darkness, you were safe and as long as you are safe I am happy. But deep down inside I was dying, I realized then how you had been my incentive to fight, to be a better person, and when you left I lost any motivation. I didn’t call you or tried to somehow come in touch with you immediately after the incindent, because I thought it would be better that way, you would be better off without me and what I did was unforgivable, so asking for forgiveness was something I considered pointless. I was extremely self-absorbed, Tina, my pain was much more substantial than yours, I believed then. So I went and gave you the promise, which I don’t think I…I will be capable to make a reality…” The brunette finished weakly and out of peripheral vision she saw Tina shaking her head.

    After a few minutes of silence Tina finally braced herself to ask the question. ”You are saying that you won’t be capable of quitting?”

    ”There is a real possibility of that, yes.”

    The blonde felt a sudden flash of anger. ”Why?” She demanded with clenched teeth.

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    Comments

    1. I am desperatly holding hope and trust in the title of your story!

      This is a mess, like wkm it is a dilemma and how the hell can Bette get out of this and have Tina with her. I say they move to another country and start a new life.

      Thanks for the update!

    2. Hi Valery:
      I am new here, I am enjoying your story, I like it very much because it is different than others and hard to predict. As I’ve been waiting for an update, in the mean time I was thinking that for Bette to get clean, she should leave the vicious life that she is living (and take her gang with her) and look for a descent life style (going back to study music or just performing as free lance), perhaps making some money and re-gain Tina’s trust; now the moral thing for me is if Bette and/or her gang had indeed killed someone or just take those victims to be killed by someone else.
      I was speculating that for Bette to find a descent outcome, she could gather her gang and go to witness protection program, even though thinks could get complicated with Tina.
      Bette could also have a heroic intervention and redeem herself and her friends finding the authority support to leave the crime life.
      Maybe Bette is about to get arrested, in the next chapter because her scandalous behavior in the beach with Tina and the police is going found out about Bette illicit activities and something good (for Bette and her friends) is going to result. The time bomb is going to explode soon and Bette’s nightmare could get real if she is still undecided, in what to do about that.
      Any way I am checking every day for your update, because you are given us an excellent and thrilling story, that only you are able of unravel with splendid outcome

      Thanks for your story

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