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In Too Deep Ch. 4
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“What do you want?”
“Do have any on you?” Dana sighed and rolled her eyes. She shoved her hand in her coat pocket and pulled out a package.
“Do you have the money?” Jenny held out a couple hundreds in her hand, and Dana snatched it. Dana threw the bag at Jenny and counted her money. “It’s nice doing business with you.” She winked at Jenny and walked off. Jenny shook her head and walked off.
****
Carmen stood in the same spot as she did last night and felt scared. She swallowed hard as Shane walked towards her with a bottle of beer. Shane handed her the bottle, and Carmen looked at it.
“What is this for?”
“It’s for a celebration. Our—well my profit went up twenty-five percentage. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and it’s all because of you.” Carmen grabbed the bottle, and Shane smiled.
“Cheers,” Shane took a drink, and Carmen slowly took a drink. “I—um never mind.” Shane waved it off.
”What? Finish with what you have to say.”
“I’m sorry for what I did to you last night.” Carmen looked at Shane.
“Umm—I don’t think we should talk about this.”
“No, I truly am sorry for what I’ve probably cause you. I never meant for it to go that far—I was furious and pissed off because you got to me.” Shane looked away and bit her bottom lip. “You were right, I’m not what you think I am. I was pulled into this game; I went with it because I was seeing in for the wrong reasons. The fast money, the girls,” Shane smirked. “The power that I have is amazing.”
“Then why are you in it?” Carmen took a drink of her beer.
“Because I took after my father died,” Shane licked her lips. “I did this because I didn’t want to let the legacy down. I don’t want to let him down. Don’t you feel the same way? You don’t want to let your father down. You don’t want to let the legacy down. You know—my father and your father did work together, but things didn’t work out.” Shane took a drink of her beer.
“What do you mean?”
“You remember when you lost your father.” Carmen nodded. “It’s because of my father let your father hanging in the hangar where the cops fuckin’ shot your father to death.”
Carmen shook her head. “Why would you stand here and say that to me? Have you lost your mind?”
“I’m just telling you the truth.”
“No, that’s bullshit.”
“Why? You don’t want to believe the truth.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about my father.” Carmen sat a bottle down and began to walk away, but Shane stopped her.
“Just stop, alright if I disrespected you in any way I’m sorry.”
Carmen laughed bitterly. “You fuckin’ raped me and then you talk about my father. How the fuck do you think I feel right now?” Carmen began to point her index finger into Shane’s chest. “You’re a fuckin’ joke in this game—you’re supposed to fearless, show no emotions, but you’re weak.” Carmen pushed Shane. Shane took a step towards Carmen, and Carmen stepped up. “What are you going to do? Hit me! Go ahead and hit me! I dare you!” Shane pulled Carmen by her jacket and kissed her hard. Carmen didn’t fight back and kissed Shane back. She ran her fingers through Shane’s messy mane. Shane pushed Carmen’s jacket off her body and let it drop to the floor. Carmen pulled Shane’s shirt, and the buttons flew off. Shane grabbed a hold of Carmen, and they both fell to the bed.
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I’m caught up now. So Dana is dealing to Jenny. Verrrrrrrry interesting. The scene with the guns reminded me a bit of “Face/Off” when everyone was pointing a gun at someone in that church. PPS!
I’ve got 2 words….time line. It feels like Carmen and Helena just got here 2 days ago and already they’re taking over half the business. Story is hot, don’t get me wrong but some things are just a bit off. Shane doesn’t open up that quickly….but I guess with Carmen, anything is possible :p But I hope you don’t feel rushed. Cuz I mean, Carmen got raped by Shane(it was hot :p) and now she’s jumping back into her bed with glee. Okay, time for the smelly stuff to hit the fan lmao. Alice wanted to chop Helena to pieces. Now, they’re all over each other. I feel like she’s that way cuz she hasn’t gotten laid in a long while. Jenny on coke and Shane is pissed? Or Jenny on coke from Dana? I’m lost. Is Jenny some inside-man or what? Why is she paying for coke anyway? That should come with the job no? I mean, she gets paid and can get a tub of snow for her bonus. Okay I’m rambling. I have a feeling…Carmen enjoyed her previous time with Shane…cuz she doesn’t seem pissed enough about it. But now that Carmen has Shane by the proverbial nut-sack, well…Shane’s brain is already out the window. Okay, okay, okay….great update. I’m a bit antsy but eh…time line please? Oh, does Jenny know that Carmen and Helena work for Dana…or wait has Jenny been working on Shane as a cop, the whole time…from way back then?
hey ACB! great update! but i do agree with TMAJO… its not that its totally confsing or anything its just that it’ll be even more better… anyway, i still love ur story and would read it anyway you’d write it… so keep it up! PPS!
Oh no, please don’t be sorry about the rape scene on my (or anyone else’s) account. It’s your story and you stayed true to your vision. You’ve stayed true to the characters you’ve created and, of course, their actions prove it. You don’t have to apologize for any of it. Right now, even though I find much of Shane’s actions repulsive (it’s just a normal reaction of mine), I still understand why she’s doing it. And if the beginning of the story starts out with Shane acting like a completely ruthless drug lord, then I’ll believe it wholeheartedly. In fact, you’ve done such a good job with the characters that it’s hard not to take them and their actions seriously, as far as the story is concerned. Okay, sorry about the rant. Sorry. I’m gonna read the story now. And thanks for answering my question. (I’ll be back with thoughts on this update once I read it. Hah! And you thought my rant was over. Not even close, ’cause I’m a total windbag.)
Ok what the hell is going on here, what the hell is Dana doing dealing drug with Jenny, damn this is bad and drama coming. Ok post soon please, thanks!
ACB, You are a twisted author and thank the heavens for that. I think that this tale is a great take on all of the characters and Dana’s deception was another knife into justice’s back. I can understand Carmen’s reluctance to continue but am happy that she is seeing the big picture. Maybe she will get her revenge in due course. Blood curdling and exciting stuff. More please and thank you very much for the bravery of following your own thoughts and ideas of fan fiction. Diversity is a wonderful thing. Your Loyal Fan.
Okay, I just caught up with this story. I love the Helena/Alice scenes. Can’t wait for more.
Agree also with TMAJO, but this story is really good. Perhaps you shouldn’t let Shane turn into Carmen’s puppy just yet. But bring on the NC-17 anyways (yeah, I’m a perv). Looking forward to the next chapters ! :)
Well, I’m glad that Carmen showed some cojones in this chapter, because I’m sure that brought up her “street cred” a few dozen notches. And I noticed that Alice said goodbye to her “don’t mix pleasure and business” rule. Out the window! LOL! But I won’t blame her, it was bound to happen. On another note, I can see why Carmen and Helena are getting more on their plate in this chapter. Like you wrote, they’re working with Shane, so it’s understandable that they’ll be making some changes, here and there, to improve the system. But at the end of the day Shane is still getting the profits. No takeover. And I think I understand Shane’s anger toward Jenny. Any (successful) dealer knows not to use their own product and not to surround themselves with employees who do, because that’s when the business suffers. An obvious reason is that people get sloppy if they’re dependent. But the main reason is that loyalties end up getting placed on the drug and on *anyone* who provides it, instead of the business and the personal bonds that hold it together (like this story has shown). So now we see that Jenny’s loyalty is to Dana because she’s been helping Jenny support her drug habit (which is probably pretty bad, since she was a junkie before). But her loyalty is probably not as a cop, because we saw that Dana pulled a gun on Jenny, and they also have this dealer/user thing going. What I’m wondering is what Dana is up to, where Jenny got the money (was it really “dirt nap” guy who was stealing from Shane? Hmmm.), and, like TMAJO wrote, does she know about Carmen and Helena being cops. But that’s what story development is for right? So you don’t have to answer my questions just yet, just let me know if I’m out of line with anything I write. :D Can’t wait to read more. (now *that* was a long-ass rant. Told you I’m a windbag! LOL! Sorry, I can’t help myself.)
The story is fantastic! GOO SHANE! :D Please post more!