Part 13

Nikky asked me if it was Love or Lust. Now I ask myself, is it love or just a curse? That reminds me of a Pink song… ‘ is it love, or just a curse, do you feel good, when I hurt’ anyways, it’s a good song. So… is it a curse? Maybe. Possibly.

It’s Saturday. 3pm. I’m at the hospital… again… waiting. The girls are all here with me… waiting

“Carmen what about you?” Jenny asked

“What?” I asked not having a clue of what were talking about

“Carmen! Come on… Pay attention!” Alice said

“Sorry what was the question again?”

“Favorite phrase from a book…” Bette said smiling

“Um… I don’t know”

“She doesn’t read. She’s too hot for that” Alice said smiling

“Um… ‘Addict’s In ‘The waiting place’… its goes like … um….Do you dare to stay out?… Do you dare to go in?… How much can you lose? How much can you win? And if you go in, should you turn left or right? Or right and tree quarters? or maybe not quite…. you can get so confused, that you start in a race and grind of for miles across weirdest wild space… headed I fear towards a most useless place… the waiting place… for people just waiting…. waiting for a train to go, for a bus to come, for a plane to go, for the mail to come, rain to go, phone to ring, or the snow to snow…… waiting around for a yes or a no…. or, for another chance……” The girls were silent now. Probably trying to take in all the words I’ve just said.

“The one who wrote that must be really confuse huh?”

“That’s beautiful Carmen… I’ll be sure to read that book” Tina said getting a nod from Bette.

“What if … I don’t have to wait for my other chance?” we all looked at the bed were Shane was lying with eyes wide open smiling at all of us.

“SHANE!!” All of us yelled and got up to see her closer.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I can’t believe you’re talking!”