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    Intimacy

    Subj: Intimacy – Bette after the breakup
    Date: 3/18/2004 4:11:49 PM Pacific Standard Time
    From: PatBrg3
    To: webmaster@l-word.com



    The pounding of the rain against the window awoke Bette suddenly, instinctively, she reached out to hold Tina, then, painfully, realizing she wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there for a while now, the emptiness in Bette’s heart was undescribable – two tears rolled down her cheek, she was alone again. Each night before she went to sleep, she always prayed that what was happening to her was a nightmare, only to awaken each morning to her new reality. It was 6:45am, time to start her day. Her routine did not change, except there was no one to say good morning to, goodbye to, and most importantly, no one to come home to. She could still see Tina making coffee, smiling, hugging her goodbye, saying, “have a nice day babe”, how her imagination and memories brought her comfort. Driving to work, she had avoided The Planet for weeks now, not wanting to see everyone, their faces, feel their reaction, their wrath toward her. She knew everyone was her friend, but didn’t know what she or they would say upon meeting, especially after she had hurt Tina so badly. But this day, she was determined to face her fears. Upon entering The Planet, the first person she saw was Marina, as she approached, she was sure Marina was dying to say something to her. Good morning, Good morning Bette. I know you must have something to say, go ahead, I deserve it. Marina had not yet looked at Bette, but when she handed her her coffee, she said in a very gentle voice, “You’re only human” Bette was taken aback, and just continued looking at the ground, tears starting to come to her eyes, Thank you Marina. Across the room was the table – the taaaable that had once been so familiar, so full of the love that she received from her friends, Alice, Dans, Shane and of course, Tina – but she wasn’t there today, only the other three. Strange, what the passing of time does, only a month ago, that table was an integral part of her life, her daily routine,now it seemed so foreign, so not a part of her and she felt acutely alone. But she knew she had to face this moment, this first interaction and she knew not what to expect. As she approached, each one said good morning Bette. Alice, not really in a forgiving mood, given that she had seen Tina in her deepest of pain, Shane, just sat motionless, her whole image of the perfect relationship shattered, all the hope she once had for herself – gone. Dana, sat squirming for a second, at first, not knowing what to do, was the first to get up and hug Bette. She could not forget how good a friend Bette had been to her, especially helping with Lara. Bette sank into Dana’s embrace, tears filling her eyes, but she was able to hold it back. The next moment, all eyes went to the door, Tina had walked in. She looked tired, but beautiful. Bette only wanted to run to her and hold her as close as Dana was holding her. But, her fear of complete rejection and wanting to avoid an awkward scene, she released Dana and started walking towards the door. As they passed eaach other, they said Good morning. Bette and Tina just stood there looking at each. Both knowing what wasn’t there anymore, feeling the tenseness of being so physically close yet emotionally so far apart. Both thinking Bette should be patting her on the back, kissing her on the cheek and saying “see you tonight, honey” Now just dead silence, empty sapce between them, lost hopes and dreams. Bette’s eyes filled again with tears and she could not hold it this time, “Tina, I love you, I will always love you,you have my heart” Tina just stared into the eyes of this woman whom she once adored and wanted so much to go back in time with, just a month ago. “Bette, I love you too, but I can’t be with you right now, I need time, time to sort things out” Bette just breathed in deeply, “ok”. Bette left and walked toward her car, her heart braking, her stomach in knots, and her whole body about to crumbe, under the weight of the last 3 weeks. Realizing, that possibly, it was over – she was alone, by her ownodoing. As she opened her car door, her coffee spilled, her papers went to the floor and she began to cry uncontrollably, her cries turning to sobs, she was barely aable to get into the car and began to shake. She cried out Tina’s name, and turned to the passenger seat, hoping against hope that she would be there, but she wasn’t, the seat was empty, as was her house, her bed and her life. Thank you for this opportunity for us to submit our writing. Criticism welcome.

    Comments

    1. Proper Structure and paragraphs are a writer’s best friend. Grammer is also a very close friend. The idea is good, the plot was good just needs to be fleshed out properly.

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