Bette
Is it me? Or is it both of us that always end up in this same repetitive “relationship cycling” or whatever they call it? It’s the predictable, repetitive cycle of breaking up and getting back together over and over again. For the past 17 years, we have done this a total of 3 times. It’s like a damn light switch malfunction or some kind of game of never-ending play.

As I stand there looking at her, my body and mind are frozen. Words try to escape through my lips, but I’m tongue-tied. I can’t imagine running out of things to say for this being the 4th time in this position. My heart is fluttering, and my knees feel weak. My mind is replaying her words in my head like a spin top. I finally recover from my episode and step to the side, gesturing for her to step inside.

I close the door gently behind her and take a moment before turning around and facing her.

Once I do turn, I notice her back is turned towards me. I step back around, unsure of my actions at this moment. All I can hear during our silence is the thumping of my heartbeat in my ears.

She finally turns to me, and words finally fall through my lips.

“What are you doing here, Tina?“ I tend to ask again.

I notice her eyes are starting to shine, and a tear races its way down her cheek.

I watch as she quickly brushes it away with her hand.

“Why?”

I decide not to respond because I know there is more. But it’s not all my fault. She does the same thing.

“Why does this always happen?” I have been pondering that in my head for the past week or more. I slowly lift my head from the floor’s surface and cross my arms. “I never meant for this to happen, Tina.”

“I was happy.”

“I want and always wanted you to be happy.” I step towards her but stop myself before getting in the line of fire that I feel is starting to boil inside her.

“Then why couldn’t you have left it alone?”

“How did you expect me to react when you asked me that question at the hospital?”

I watch her turn her back to me in frustration again.