I know but  . . .

Listen to me there are no buts. End it now.

I know, I know that, but youve got to understand. You dont know what its like to be me. You dont know what Im going through.

You cant carry on like this, deal with it.

Youre right, you are so right, but  . . .

So? whats the problem?

You just dont understand, you dont know what its like.  

What do you mean I dont know what its like? Who the ***** are you talking to? You cant carry on like this, you know what will happen.

But its all I can think about for ***** sake. Do you know what thats like? How it feels to want to escape from yourself because your life is one big ***** up?

No its not. Take a look at what you have. You have a career most people would die for. You have a beautiful voice. You have more money than you could ever spend in this lifetime. You have Bette back in your life. Isnt that enough for you?

Yes. Of course youre right. I have more than enough I should be thankful for.

There you go. Thats better isnt it?

Or is it? Is it enough for me?

You mustnt think like that. You cant allow yourself to think like that. Do you know what will happen if you do? Youll become complacent.

Complacent. Me?  Ive never been complacent. I just need it to feel a little better. I think Ive got flu coming on. I just need to sleep and relax for a short while. One line is not going to send me spiralling out of control.          

Yes it will.

Just listen I know what Im capable of handling, Im not gonna get addicted or anything like that. ***** its just a way to escape. Why are you so paranoid?

Dont do it. Have a Tylenol and a cup of coffee.

I dont want a Tylenol and a cup of coffee.

Youll thank me in the long run.

I only want one line. Honestly I can handle one line. Ill stop after this one, no one will even know Ive taken it

Youll know.

That is completely irrelevant.

I dont think it is.

Come on how bad can it get?

I think you know how bad it can get. Dont go there. For your sake dont go down that road.

Just one  . . .It cant hurt  . . .

Me in conversation with me. I guess I won. Or lost. Whatever.

My breath smells of a thousand *****
And when I’m drunk I dance like me Dad
I’ve started to dress a bit like him
Early morning when I wake up
I look like Kiss but without the make up
And thats a good line to take it to The bridge
And you know and you know
”Cause my life’s a mess
And I’m trying to grow so before
I’m old I’ll confess
You think that I’m strong you’re wrong
You’re wrong
I’ll sing my song my song my song

My bed’s full of takeaways and fantasies of easy lays
The pause button’s broke on my video
And is this real ’cause I feel fake, Oprah Winfrey, Rikki Lake
Teach me things I don’t need to know

And you know and you know
”Cause my life’s a mess
And I’m trying to grow so before
I’m old I’ll confess
You think that I’m strong you’re wrong
You’re wrong
I’ll sing my song my song my song

If I did it all again I’d be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I’m still young we’re still young
Step inside the sun

And you know and you know
Cause my life’s a mess
And I’m trying to grow

You think that I’m strong you’re wrong
You’re wrong
I’ll sing my song my song my song

Life’s too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don’t have to take the blame

(To Be Continued.) 

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