Fan Fiction
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Journeys – Searching – Chapter 2
DANA- (Smiling at Bette) “Bette! ”
SHANE- “Hey Bette, come on, join usyour place awaits you madame! ”
BETTE- “Hi guys. ”
DANA- (Trying not to be heard she leans into Alice) “She ok?”
ALICE- “I hope so. ”
SHANE- “So, what can I get you Bette, Alice?”
(Both Alice and Bette speak out at the same time) Alice : “Coffee.” Bette: “Martini”
DANA- “Coffee?”
BETTE- (Looks at Alice with a bit of a nasty look) “Fighting a hangover already Al?”
ALICE- (Squints.) “Well, I figure we’re gonna have to keep ourselves going for a while, it’s Friday after all, so the caffeine seemed like a good idea! ” (Dana and Shane look at her like she’s grown a third head.) “FineI’ll have a cosmo.” (Bette smiles.)
SHANE- “I’ll be right back.”
(Bette hasn’t even started to look around and leaves the surveying to her periphery vision while she focuses on her friends.)
BETTE- “So Dana, how was the tournament?”
DANA- “The usual. Got to the semis but couldn’t take it farther. Last year I had only made it to the quarters so my coach says it’s a start.”
ALICE- “A start? That’s amazing, friggin amazing Dana.”
DANA- (Smiles humbly.) “Yeah it’s in the right direction for sure.”
BETTE- “Congratulations. We’ll be beating the fans off with a stick in a few months.”
ALICE- “I’ll be beating ‘em with a cattle prodhands off I say!” (They all laugh.)
BETTE – “It’s not that busywhere’s Shane? I don’t see her at the bar.”
ALICE- “On an amorous detour between martini shakes”
DANA- “Alice, she only left a minute ago.”
BETTE- (Looks over.) “There she isreturning from the ladies room.”
ALICE- “Ohlet’s wait and see who emerges.” (The rest of the group : Alice! ) “What?! You know I’m kidding! Wellmaybe not ”
DANA- “Let her be already. ”
BETTE- (Sarcastically to her old friend) “Yes Al, we can’t all be Shane, so at least temper the envy.”
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(20 votes, average: 4.35 out of 5)
the format is still the same, just a huge block of text…but the story is definately interesting and progressing
Yeah, the story is interesting, although it’s a bit difficult to read. Maybe you could put double enter after a paragraph.
Interesting story. Looking forward to more.
Quotation marks are your friends. The ‘Enter’ or ‘Return’ key are pinky pals. Good story, but too damn hard to read. The last place I wanna read a textbook is online. More white space between character dialog and paragraphs will make this all better.
Like this story alot
Format still the same, but the story is very interesting…please continue.
got me hooked!!