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Jumping into the Unknown Together Chapter 15
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There wasn’t much said on the ride home. Bette just looked out the window, no emotion and definitely no conversation. The walls around Bette were high and Tina couldn’t blame Bette for protecting herself. Tina knew she had been pretty rough on Bette emotionally over the last couple years. The fact that Bette was allowing her here at all was encouraging for some level of reconciliation beyond this crisis and Tina wasn’t going to push it.
”Want to stop for lunch,” Tina asked, hoping to lighten up the heaviness that she could feel in the car.
”Sure,” Bette said without looking at Tina.
Bette was lost in thought. Her heart and her head were in a battle over how to manage the unexpected but welcomed surprise of her ex wife. The reality was that Bette had hit her limit emotionally in dealing with this situation by herself. Helena and Peggy were great, but Tina being here… well, it was different. They may not be together, but the deep connection they had with each other still remained and it gave her strength. No matter how deep the hurt, Bette knew she was still in love with Tina and there was no one else she wanted by her side as she faced this challenge. Bette had long ago come to respect how assertive Tina could be when necessary and how capable she was at navigating complicated situations. If there was a problem, Bette could trust that Tina would handle it. But what happens after? How long before she gets lost again? Will she leave again? A thought Bette couldn’t bare to consider. Tina asking for a divorce ripped a hole through her heart and left her sole hemorrhaging through it. At the time, Bette had thought she had been making constructive changes. Bette had started letting Tina take the lead on how much time they would spend together and showed more interest in the individual qualities as well as individual interests that were Tina’s. She had heard what Tina had said about not paying attention to other’s needs and taking to much space in their relationship. But Bette could never figure out what is was that Tina needed from her, to stop being who she was didn’t feel right either. Eventually their communication broke down on all levels, and like in the past, they both shutdown and withdrew from each other. Bette had honestly felt that they would get back together, their love for each other was too strong and they would figure it out. The cracks could be mended as long as they held on to the bond which was their love for each other. However, becoming the perceptive partner came to late, the emotional detachment and resentment had taken root in Tina. Their love for each other wasn’t enough. All the work they had done together to overcome the trust issues after Bette’s infidelity and Tina’s orientation confusion was gone. Bette could still feel the words ”I have fallen in love with someone else,” she closed her eyes tightly at the thought. She could never understand how Tina could walk away the way she did and then give her heart to another. Bette recalled their vows. Each had written their own and Tina said that her heart was all she had and that she was giving it to Bette and professed it was eternal. Was it all just a lie? Bette kept facing out the window and wiped a tear from her face.
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Thank you for this chapter!
“Bette always feared she was like her father who was a rigid, stubborn, cold hearted serial cheater, something that was never true for Bette” – sorry but some truth there is.
Rigid and stubborn – i guess sometimes Bette can be, cold hearted – never, and serial cheater – yeah, she is definitely – Alice, Tina, Jodie. Than Kelly issue – yeah, she didn’t cheat but she didn’t tell Tina about this either, and the last – Felicity – sleeping with married person not very moral thing too.
Zheng
I have read so many debates about Bette being a serial cheater. The one thing that I notice is that all her cheating involves Tina in some manner. Hmm makes you think about her cheating from a different perspective. i would argue that her cheating was not motivated by the”player” in her but rather her difficulties with managing her emotions and herself when it comes to Tina.
Thanks for reading. It is slow, but we will see more of the why about things as the future chapters come together.
K
I love Bette. She has flaws. She is NOT her father! I do not agree at all about her being a serial cheater. She was faithful to Tina throughout all of their years together until Candace and paid a hefty price for that mistake. Tina turned away from Bette and shared more with Alice. Not cool. Tina cheated in their home with Henry. So not cool. Not going down that road again. They hurt each other – and Tina is the one who keeps walking away. So easy to blame Bette by pointing to her father. That is simply not fair or accurate. Truth be told there is ZERO reason to believe Tina will not leave again. Bette needs to protect herself. Tina needs to figure out why she keeps leaving.
Billy
Many good points about Bette as well as Tina’s actions in the area of cheating. I so agree that Tina needs to figure shit out but she is not alone in this road of self assessment. Bette has her own demons that she brings to the relationship and she needs to look at them honestly. It is an emotional roller coaster that both will need to ride in order for them to find each other and have a truly committed relationship that will sustain through all the difficulties that all couples face as they grow together.
Thanks for reading. Love you your comments.
K
Thanks. Admire that you are working from what the show gave us. Which is not very much. It would help if we actually knew what is supposed to have taken place during the last ten years. It must be difficult to write when you are kind of in the dark about that. I love your writing and do agree that Bette is complex. Multi layered. That’s why I love the character.
Billy
I love your passion for the character. I for one am a Tina fan and that is why I wrote her as the protagonist.
The research I do to find little tidbits to help and then just watching and rewatching the old show to get a feel for what I would think makes sense is a labor of love. GQ gives absolutely nothing. The interviews from the actors give more. But I honestly can say I having a ball doing this. I have not written in years and this was such a nice way to begin again.
Thanks for the encouragement.
K
Thanks for the reply. I hope Tina is able to find her way back forever. Great story.
Well, we don’t know with whom Bette cheating on Alice – maybe not with Tina.
I don’t see how someone can argue with the fact that Bette cheating with every her relationship, besides last one with Tina.
So yes, as Tina has her own demons in relationship, Bette has own – an fidelity one of them
Sorry to write this but I really do not agree with your assessment of Bette. In my opinion she is not a serial cheater. You simply cannot throw Alice or Jodie into that mix. Alice is portrayed as a gossip who exaggerates to the extreme. Bette was not married to Jodie. Jodie cheated with Amy. Tina cheated with Henry while still living in the house. I get really upset that Bette is singled out and judged and unfairly blamed for so much. Tina is not without blame in the problems with their relationship. Bette is incredibly loving to Tina and so in love with her. And Tina walked away from her – yet again. Call it poor writing on the part of the show. But this is what we have to work with. Yes Bette is complex but with all due respect, and you are most certainly entitled to your views, in my opinion your depiction of Bette deserves another look.
What difference if Bette was married on Jodie or not? She cheat on her with Tina – yeah. She cheat on Alice with (we don’t really know with whom, maybe with Tina also) – yeah. She was cheating on Tina with carpenter – yeah. So yeah, Bette cheating at least three time in her relationship. Three times cheating can we name as a serial – on my opinion – yeah.
P. S. And by the way – Tina not cheating on Bette with Henry – they already broke up with Bette when Bette go on the retreat. Tina cheating on Bette with cyber guy – daddyof2, but not with Henry.
This is exactly what I mean. Tina gets a pass and Bette is labeled a serial cheater. They were still living together in their home. Tina had not moved out. Bette went to the silent retreat and Tina met Henry and had sex in their bedroom. Bette returned to their home and Tina was with Henry. Fine line. Alice and Bette dated for six weeks. Not exclusive. Bette met Tina. Seven plus years of fidelity that is conveniently forgotten about. A lot of what is supposedly known about Bette is based upon gossip from Alice. Yes, Bette is complex. But please, she is not a serial cheater.
Well i guess we need to agree to disagree on this. Like i said three times cheating for me enough to call Bette like that.
SuperK. Hope Bette is ok. Hard to process a failed relationship during a medical crisis but it will force them to look at their lives and maybe realize life is too short to be apart. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this. Thanks for the lovely chapter.
BK
First I want to say, OMG how do you keep 2 comprehensive and very different stories straight while writing. I can barely manage one with all the research and of course my job. LOL
Anyways, I so agree that processing a failed relationship is difficult in and of itself is complicated, the medical situation just add fuel to the emotional intensity of their relationship. I am on a mission to explain why but it will take a bit and of course life doesn’t stop so we can figure things out better. :)
Thanks for reading.
K
thanks K
It is not easy to keep the stories separate – yesterday I deleted almost two pages in The Beginning because I went with the Lucy backstory that doesn’t apply. The last thing I need is a mother drug pin in a story where Bette and Tina are starting their romance LOL
You are doing fantastic, really. Keep writing and I will keep reading
Well the Comments are on fire aren’t they!
I am really enjoying your story here and am not going to enter into the arguments above. Let’s face it GenQ gave us nothing and this is your take after watching the original show. I am so pleased it has got you writing again.
Looking forward to your next post
Stay safe
SG
I do not think its important to label Bette or Tina as to what you think they are. Neither fit my definition of a serial cheater, yet they both cheated on each other. The important thing to me is have they forgiven each other for those transgressions? And have they self-examined enough to know what triggers offending behavior and made every effort to make sure the offending behavior does not occur. The obvious answer to that is no – Tina still left the relationship and she is saying that Bette is partly to blame. Bette was hurt by Tina leaving and is wondering (because she doesn’t know) if she were once again the cause for Tina to bolt for the door.
These two are so complex on so many multi levels and saying that they each need to apologize and explain and talk seems almost over simplistic. In reality, they both need to know what happened and why did it happen. Then they must acknowledged it happened and forgive themselves and the other. Then perhaps they can formulate protective and preventive measures from happening again. However, they will not prevent other unanticipated problems from popping up. That is when they need a process they can lean to investigate and resolve problems going forward. And all of that takes a desire to go through the process and do the work. It take a high degree of trust that the other will participate and seeks the same goals as the other. At this point, they love each other but they have little trust that the other will commit to what it will take to make the relationship work. In most relationships, it does not take perfection, it just takes a good faith effort and the desire to be together on the journey.
Look forward to seeing more. I do like this story….keep it going and let us your characters develop.
Can’t wait for more.
Well said.