The problems may seem insurmountable but if you two are in one accord and are both willing to work through them I will help you with some guidance and coaching. What you’ll likely find is that although the problems may vary there is generally some commonality in the root causes. It might be repeated behaviors or how one or both partners respond or react. It may be an unhealed wound, or a buried hurt that keeps resurfacing, or perhaps an unmet emotional need. Regardless of what it is once we bring awareness to the underlying causes the solutions will become more apparent. You will leave here with new knowledge and the tools to constructively resolve these issues at the onset instead of letting them fester and become the elephant. You know the saying “how do you eat an elephant?”

“One bite at a time.” Bette and Tina said in unison.

“Exactly. So let’s start with a small bite. First I’m going to lead you through a series of breathing and stretching exercises just to get us all relaxed. Afterwards we’ll take a short break then we’ll get started OK?”

“OK.”

***

Bette and Tina did the breathing and stretching exercises. It helped them to relax and to relief some of the tension that had built up again. They took time on the break to call Kit to check in. Angie was doing great and enjoying her time with her Aunty and Angus.

When they rejoined Paul for the next session, he had them return to the mat and sit facing each other. Once seated, he instructed them to gaze directly into each others eyes without breaking contact for 60 seconds. There was to be no touching, and no talking. He asked them to clear their minds of everything and simply concentrate on the eyes of their partner.

The purpose of this exercise was to assess their comfort level with eye contact. He’d found with many couples that the problems were so severe that they couldn’t even look each other in the eye. This series of exercises was one of the indicators of the severity of their ability or inability to connect and trust one another. He’d emphasized that nothing worthwhile would be accomplished if they didn’t trust themselves and each other completely.