Fan Fiction
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Just The Girl 2.0 – Chapter Twenty One (based loosely on HYD: Returns)
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“Kennard,” Bette sighed, speaking through the straw hat that she had placed over her face. “You can’t get rid of me. If you’re my immortal weed, then I am your undying pimple.”
Tina snorted. “A pimple, huh? Well I pop zits all the time.”
“Eww.” Bette made a face, feeling her derma-pampered skin recoil. “Fine, I’m not a pimple that you can easily pop. I’m a big, nasty boil; all red and swollen and painful, and perched on your–”
“Butt cheek?”
“Heart.” Bette corrected.
“I never heard of a boil growing on a heart before..”
“Well, I do.”
“Cause you’re special like that.” Tina said, her voice oozing with sarcasm.
“I am.” The heiress murmured seriously. “Anyway, back to what I was saying. You can’t get rid of me because I’m your nasty boil. The more you try to pop me and squeeze me out of your life, the more you end up hurting yourself. In the end you just leave me there and we live and love together in peaceful co-existence.”
Tina rolled her eyes and groaned. “Why are you so anally presumptuous?”
“I was born this way. What’s your excuse?” Bette shrugged in innocence, lifting her hat to glance at the blonde.
“What, you came out of your mom’s womb ass first?”
“No silly,” Bette chuckled. “I was delivered by CS.”
Tina rolled her eyes. “Why, was your head too big to pass through your mom’s vagina?”
“Nope,” Bette smiled. “Actually, I was in breech position when my mom was about to give birth. You know, my feet entered the birth canal first before my head did. Daddy told me that he knew I was really a Porter when the doctor told them about it. I was going down feet first, ready to hit the ground running as soon as I got out of my mom’s tummy.” She chuckled, thinking fondly about the time Melvin told her about the night she was born. “He said that I was a handful during the entire pregnancy and they were expecting me to slap the doctor when I got out and cut the umbilical cord myself.”
At this, the two girls chuckled.
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This is awesome. I love your long updates! Great chapter as usual I lol’d at the image of Melvin playing Bejeweled :) And loved that he thought Bette and Tina were role-playing. Can’t wait for next chapter! PPS
Great update Alch! This chapter had me in stitches…to damn funny. I sense some more drama ahead though. Bring on “next week” for Tibette please.
You eithd an inting upbinging or you have a very active and fertile imagination
So glad that you are back. Worried about your safety. Very interesting post especially with the Eric situation.
Thanks for the update. I just love the banter amongst all the friends. I’m hoping that whatever Sam tells Bette will relieve some of her guilt feelings about Eric Walker’s death.
That was awesome and funny, love it. Please post more, thanks!
Alchy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it, love it, love it. Thank you for posting, I’ve been waiting patiently for this. Love the Santa Monica Blvd analogy LOL. Don’t worry about comments for me, you need to be saving your energy for this story, and yes I know you do read. I feel your narcissistic presence in the room LOL. A little late for the suggestion, but I thought maybe you could borrow Tina’s maid uniform for the party LOL. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Can’t wait for long awaited make up sex, OMG! Okay, get to writing, chop-chop.
Pretty hot girls posted down there LOL. Thought I’d add.
Alch, it doesn’t matter how much you write, you always leave me wanting more. Don’t forget to leave a little time for writing in that plan of yours…we would miss you way too much and we are already dying for your next update. Loved your chapter and your story…we are a totally awesome writer!
Ha-hah…Alchy humor reigns again!!!! Glad you’re back! Sounds you are doing well. The Tibette banter…priceless! Too darn funny…immortal weed/undying pimple , role-playing and brushing teeth, “shippers”, bulling ‘little kids’, competetive Porters, etc. Hysterical! I like that you had them talk in the future tense (ie: sex and having children…that calls for a sequel.) Bring it on Alchy…you are amazing!
A long awaited chapter. I love your writing and your sense of humor. Keep it coming. thanks.
That chapter was sooooo funny! Can’t wait for the next one. PPS!
cow and milkmaid – undying pimple – ahahahaha! the t&b banter was great, alchemy you’re so funny and such a good writer – thanks for sticking with this excellent story – you’ve nothing to worry about, this chappy was excellent like all the others ;-) i see the plot thickens with the whole eric thing – as always no matter how long your chappy is, i still want more. thanks again for this delicious story!
Wonderful, Al! I always love your long updates. Regarding Bette and Tina, I can’t wait for next week to happen for them! PPS
Its such a beauty having Bette and Tina talk about their future despite what the obstacles they are going through. Cant help but smile on the though of mini Tibettes.:)
thanks alche…looking forward to the next chapter.
Great update! Hysterical, as always… your imagination is comedic genius…too many one-liners to mention them all. Love the way you’re bringing B&T back together and anxiously await the painful truth. I can’t wish you luck to finish the story in December cause I don’t want it to end!!