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Lest I Forget (1)
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She’d kissed me and given me a hug before I finally agreed to go. The last thing she’d said before I turned away was “I love you.”
“You knew,” I accused her in a whisper. And knowing that was the thing that finally made me cry.
**********
Morning came too soon. I’d stayed in my chair all night, although a nurse had been kind and brought me in a pillow and blanket. I woke up with an awful crik in my neck, but things could always have been worse. Over the last few years Alice had started to get arthritis pretty badly, but I’d been lucky up to that point and hadn’t even developed tennis elbow yet, something she’d gripe at me about.
It wasn’t long after I’d returned from brushing my teeth in the bathroom when the neurologist knocked on the slightly open door. I don’t know how I knew it was him, but somehow I did. I called out my permission to enter softly, as if Alice might be disturbed by it this early. Even as I did it I knew how stupid that was. One look at the doctor confirmed my suspicions, although he was kind enough to ask me to take a seat.
“Would you like to call anyone? Your children?” he asked softly, and I was grateful for it. Still, I couldn’t imagine doing that to my kids. Or to anybody. Oh, of course I’d tell them myself, but I couldn’t let them hear whatever he was going to say from him. Isn’t that stupid? I think it is, but who really knows.
“Mrs. Fairbanks?” the doctor asked, and I appreciated it. We still weren’t legally married (no same sex couple in America was) but we’d lived as married for close to forty years now, and had taken every legal step possible to make sure we’d be treated as such…for a situation like this. It hurt to realize that all our fighting for our own rights had landed us here, someplace neither of us wanted to be. But as I looked over at her, I knew it was a blessing I was able to be there at all.
“You can tell me whatever you need to say, Doctor. I’ve had quite a bit of experience in hospitals, so you don’t need to sugarcoat anything for me.”
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I started not to read this…glad I changed my mine. Beautiful post! PPS!
That was sad ,yet knowing the rich full life they had together. thanks
Well MT just when I thought ‘You’ couldn’t get any better you come along with a whole other story that’s equally beautiful and moving. A bittersweet story but at the same time happy for all the years they shared. Well Done! :D
wow…i partly read this because i loved your summary (it made me laugh for some reason)…but anyway, this was just really beautiful. just…poignant somehow, in a way i can’t fully describe…but thank you for the fantastic writing, i’ll be reading more of this one for sure, eh?
Tough stuff. It was hard to read, it made me sad and all. But I liked it, since you always managed to write Danish in a perfect way. Thanx.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Man, MT, you are an amazing writer. I normally don’t read stories where one of my girls passes away, but, I trust in your love of Danish. What a beautiful story. How lucky for them to have been able to spend so many years with their soulmate. I love the details, too — like the fact that Alice spoils the grandkids. That seems so like her. I can’t wait to read more about their many years together. Please continue with the story!
MT, you have done it!!! I am speechless because it is so well written. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this story. I do like the way you had D narrating the events. Her personality seemed stronger as she got older but remained goofy and dorky. What a way to go for Alice, beautiful day in the park with her wife, her soulmate. The detail in this chapter is incredibly rich and intriguing. As heavy as this post is, I appreciate your squeezing in some humor. I can totally see A whining about a hot dog, spoiling her grand children and laughing at D talking to Kit who was in heaven. It appeared that they’d raised 2 loving & caring children. I was glad to see the gang minus Bette and Kit were still around. Please bring A out of the coma, at least she would hear D, the gang and the children say their goodbyes. “… It broke my heart to know that I’d never hear her voice again… had no idea how I could possibly say goodbye to her…” My heart went out to D with my eyes filled with tears. You got to me, MT. Super job!!!
OMG that was so sad but so beautifully written. Bette and Kit gone Al on the way out but at least the rest of the family is stillvery close and connected by marriage and love for one another. Are Shane and Jenny a couple or still just very good friends and roommates I couldn’t really tell? I’ll be with this one till the end pps.
You know, after having read valediction I’ve thought twice before venturing to read this, MT! (you really torn me apart with that one!). But this is definitely different, kinda bittersweet, well more sweet than bitter, and I’m glad I read it! After all, who wouldn’t sign right away for a danish-like 40 years loving lifetime and pass away at 71? (that means… 71-40… damn!, have to harry up!)Thanks for this new story MT! I cant get enough of your writting! (Oh! ummm…. this is not related but I gotta say it: I’m also a huuuuge fan of “explosions” MT and I recently exploooded with joy ’cause their coming for a gig to my city next month! just like “danish” they’re one of my various but little obsessions! :)
This is very good MT, very impressive, well written and all that. “Lest I Forget” should definitely be continued. PPS :D
I had a stroke in 2003 but got my speech back and have learned to walk albeit with a brace and cane, but nonetheless. I was riding my horse the day before and felt fine, One never knows
hey i feel so stupid sitting here with my eyes watering every couple of paragraphs glad im alone though.. wow amazing i cant wait for the nxt one :)
I love this, You have really outdone yourself! 40 years together, that is great! Can’t wait for Dana to tell all the stories. I love how there son married Angie…LOVE IT!
hey muted – that is very well written. and so freakin sad. i am excited for the happy memories to come – but i am sure there is more sadness as well. but very well done.
The fact that you are the writer of this story made me read it even though I knew I would end up all teary eyed. It was so sad, but also very well written. I loved all the little details. I can’t wait for the next chapter of Dana reminiscing.
wow, this is so sad buts its a great story, and really really well written! i got tears in my eyes reading it with all the happy years they’ve spent together. i totally agree, for 40 years with that kind of love itd be worth it even if it meant checking out at 71! great post, PPS
This is so sad. Your writing skills never fail to amaze me, you’re able to portray ever character perfectly and write their thoughts and feelings like they were a real person. Although this story is so sad, it is brilliant and I cant wait to read more. Oh and I love that Charlie and Angie got together, they are all a real family now.