“Dana, I was just telling Shane here how much progress she’s made in the last few weeks and it’s really all due to you.”  Beach stated and Shane made a confused face, that wasn’t what they’d been talking about.

“Well, I hope she’s up to traveling.”  Dana said, and Shane narrowed her eyes, pulling off her sunglasses and saying thickly.

“Huh?”

“I can’t every well leave you alone, now can I?  Jenny and Marina are engrossed in each other Tina is an hour away.  Bette is off with Candace and I very much doubt you want to go there?  Who else is there?  Alice?  She’d libel to drop off the face of the earth with Quin at any moment.  So….”

“You want me to go to Aussie with you?”  Shane stammered and Dana took her hand, rubbing a small scar on her forefinger she’d seen there before.

“I’d be honored.”  Dana said, feeling like she was proposing marriage instead of a travel trip to Australia.

“Um…  Can…  Can I think about it?”  Shane asked and Dana was hurt, but she said nothing.  She pulled her hand away gently and nodded.

“Yeah, of course.  Yeah, I mean, we have two weeks, so yeah.”  Dana said, Beach seeing the disappointment in Dana‘s face, and the sheer look of horror in Shane‘s. 

~*~*~*~*~*
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Quin saw Alice getting out of her car from across the street, the rain was pouring down hard.  Her long blonde hair plastered to her head, she saw Alice moving to the back door of the Planet, and finally Quin stepped out from the shadows.

“It’s locked.”  She said, and Alice spun around facing Quin who looked utterly pathetic and beaten.  Alice thought, good, I hope you feel as ***** as you made me feel this morning.

“I see that.”  Alice stated, hating Quin just a bit at the moment.  She brushed by her and walked towards her car.

“Is that it?”  Quin asked through hollow night and Alice turned again, looking at someone who seemed to be more of a little girl instead of a woman before her.  What was it about Quin that just held her attention, she was pretty, and those eyes could give you second thoughts when she wasn’t wearing contacts.  She could play a guitar; write songs, but many people could, what was it about her?

“Is that…?  ***** you, you blew me off…”  Alice shot back, hands on her hips and stared Quin down.

“I…”  Quin began and the speech she’d prepared in the back of Seahurst’s car was gone, out the window and she stammered looking up at the dark sky and letting the rain pepper down her face.  How could she tell her anything, was she going to listen?

“Yeah, that’s it.”  Alice said; and began to walk away.

That’s it.  She’s walking away, out of your life and letting you back into the darkness, and hiding you from that daylight.  Going to let her go?  Be a woman Harlequin, and face up to what you are feeling. 

“I don’t know how to be in love!”  Quin yelled, and Alice froze in her tracks.  Not turning, her dark eyes darting and searching the rainy night for how to respond to that.  How did she respond to Quin saying something so life altering and drastic as that?

“I know that don’t excuse what I did, or didn’t do!  I’ve never in my life allowed myself to feel for anyone after Hamilton died.  Then you came along, and the thought of letting someone in, was killing me, little by little.  I could feel it inside of me, tearing me apart.  I just didn’t realize you were already there!  You were in before I even realized it!  I’ve watched everyone fall in love my whole life and never understood how to do it!  You just let me, you didn’t push!”  Quin paused, thinking about that for a moment.

“Ok, well a little,” Quin said with some sarcasm and Alice felt a smile brimming while Quin continued.  “But you were just you.  I can’t live up to my sister and her once flawless relationship, I can’t live down my brother and his death and I don’t always know who I am!  I just know that I think I like who I am when I’m with you and I don’t want that moment to end.  Please Alice, don’t let that end because I’m a lost soul, but with you I think I can find out who I am.  Please Ali.”  Quin begged and Alice turned around, moving to her, heart having melted, feeling like an actor in a movie she stood toe to toe with Quin.

Dear god she was gorgeous right now, in the cold rain, her eyes filled with everything in her words, no contacts, no hiding.  Just Quin.

“Don’t let me go Alice.”  Quin asked, begged, pleaded and Alice cupped her face in her hands, pulling her close and kissing her softly, lingering for only a moment.

“Never going to let go.  Never going to walk away, never going to leave, or die.  Not going to cheat, not going to stray.  I won’t even look.”  Alice said, trying to stop the tears that began in her heart and traveled to her soul.

“Just be gentle, I’m really more fragile than I look.”  Quin said, kissing her again as the rain began to slow; and by the time they’d finally broken away from each other, it had stopped all together. 

Captured
9/24/04
JG Marie

You’ve captured the answers to all my questions
But You won’t tell me what they are
You tell me you’ve forgotten it all
Scarred over as the wounds heal
Entertained it, then rejected what a sane mind should do
My mind no longer what it was, scarred and a mass of hidden memories

My bitter tasting pain takes hold of me
The fear binds me to you
Release me from this lie of a life
Only one to cut the binds is me
Where is the knife that I seek?
Eyes downcast as I hide my shame
Who am I now?
The darkness will not fade
Persistent as you were
Lulling me with its welcoming glare
Don’t be afraid it says soothingly
Silence a welcoming blanket over me

The dawn will never come
Loud and rattling as it always is
Staying far away from my ebony existence
I lay in the place that was once ours

I listen to the phantom of your breath
Memories in a scarred mind
The life that flowed inside of you
Now gone, but still burns inside of my soul
Eyes downcast as I hide my shame
Who am I now?
The darkness will not fade
Persistent as you were
Lulling me with its welcoming glare
Don’t be afraid it says soothingly
Silence a welcoming blanket over me

Love makes no sound, like the darkness that cloaks me
Reassure me, tell me I’m who I want to be
I would have died for you
I know I already have

Soul and empty void
Fill me with light you radiate

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