"Edge of despair?" Bette said.
"It’s what she called it," Carla said.
Don’t tell her! I wished I could have voiced that but the sobs wracking through my body wouldn’t let me speak. I couldn’t stop them from telling her my biggest shame and sin.
"She was so depressed after Layla death and she said she was on the ‘edge of despair,’" Greg said, "we didn’t take her seriously and…"
"And what?" Bette said as he trailed off.
"I don’t know if we should tell you this," Carla said.
"Don’t you think I should know this?" Bette pressed.
Don’t…"Well," Greg said with a sigh, "she tried to kill herself."
"She almost succeeded," Carla said.
"What did she do?" Bette said I could hear from her voice that she was crying.
"She took an entire bottle of sleeping pills," Greg said.
“If Greg would have found her just a minute late…" Carla trailed off.
I couldn’t stop the sobs wracking through my body and I couldn’t silence them either and they soon became aware of my presence.
"Tina?" Bette said.
I ran off toward the room unable to face her as I heard her say, "I’m gonna go."
Gonna go where? Is she so ashamed of me she’s gonna leave me? I threw myself face first on the bed and cried onto the pillow. I　got my answer soon enough when I heard the door shut and I felt a shift on the bed. When I felt her gentle hand on my shoulder I let out a cry.
"Are you ashamed of what you did? Is that why you didn’t tell me?” Bette said gently.

That soothing voice always calmed my nerves so I turned my head to look at her. “I don’t deserve you…”

“Stop right there,” Bette said putting her　finger gently on my lips, "you think I haven’t tried to kill myself?"
"When Kelly broke up with you back in college?" I said.
"I didn’t wanna admit it when Kit said it, but yeah."
"But did you get your stomach pumped and have to go through 5 years of therapy?" I said.
"Hmm," Bette said turning me so I could lay on my back, "that’s why you like therapy so much."
"It saved my life," I said.
"And it’s nothing to be ashamed of," Bette said, "everyone has their own ‘edge of despair.’ You fell but you climbed back up and that makes you stronger. I may have this tough exterior but you are stronger than I am."
"No way! You think?" I said disbelievingly.
"Oh yes," Bette said with a smile, "you deal with the crazy ass movie business and difficult directors and actors, and you still come home with a smile. I meet with artists and decorate galleries and I can barely handle it."
"You’re amazing,"　　　I said pushing her onto her back and straddling her.
"When you agreed to date me, did you do it because I reminded you of　Layla?" Bette said.
"No way," I said, "I may have initially been drawn to you because you did but when we kissed in your office…"
"How was that?" Bette said with a sly smile.
I smiled and said, “like this,“ as I leaned down to kiss her firmly on the lips. She parted her lips for my tongue and I jumped at the invitation. I put　my hands on either side of her head as her hands roamed around my back. I moved my right hand from its place and brought down to the waistband of her pants. Grateful for the sweats, I simply slipped my hand inside to the sweet wetness anxious for my touch.
The moment I made contact with her clit I heard　her sharp intake of breath. I felt her hand at the seam of my shorts and I shuddered with excitement as she slipped her hand in and began rubbing my clit.