I have become a threat to my own children and no matter what happens, I wouldn’t resort to drinking again. “I would talk to Kit, or talk to you,” I said.

Ivan smiled at my answer and said, “you’re always welcome at our A.A. meetings. Kit has been there a few times herself after that breakup she had with that Mangus guy.”

“Yeah, that was her nickname for him, she’s happy with her new boyfriend now,” I said, “she’s really helped me a lot. She used to tell me all these horrible things that she did when she was drunk and I was too stupid to realize that she was trying to get me to open my eyes and stop drinking.”

“No,” Ivan said gently, “you are not stupid. You were just blind, Helena. Now your eyes have opened and you are ready to spread your wings and fly.”

“You mean…”

“Yeah, you can leave tonight,” Ivan said smiling.

I laughed happily and said, “Oh my God! Thank you so much!” I hugged Ivan tightly and ran out of the tent. Dusty picked up on my excitement quickly and knew what had happened.

We embraced lovingly and held each other for a long moment. She rubbed her calloused hands in circles on my lower back and I gripped her back tightly hanging on for dear life. Then, out of nowhere, tears were stinging my eyes and I was crying onto her shoulder. She held me tightly and kissed my hair softly.

“Shh, it’s okay,” she said soothingly, “you’ve been through so much. It’s all over now.”

I covered my face in the crook of neck then parted away from her slowly, to look into her eyes. I saw that look in her eyes. That same look she had when she had woken up from that nightmare. That fear. But what was she afraid of? Not getting out of here today? Losing me? Or just scared of life? I leaned in and pressed my lips firmly against hers and she responded instantly. The kiss was soft and tender. Our tongues were dueling gently, but my heart was racing at 100 miles per hour. It was like a tentative first kiss, but there was so much passion. I’d never kissed anyone like that in my whole life.