Fan Fiction
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“One day you’re going to leave me,” Bette whispered, watching wisps of blonde hair dance with every breath. “You’re going to realise that this is too hard; there is too much otherness in your life.” Sighing, she captured a dancing hair between her fingers, marvelling at the fine silk of Tina’s hair. She was beautiful, everything about Tina was beautiful.
It didn’t seem that long ago that Bette felt pride in knowing Tina had chosen her, and she basked in the security that that had brought. Lately that security had diminished, and Bette didn’t know how to get it back.
Shifting her aching shoulders Bette rests her head on a cocked arm, allowing her to look down at the woman she loved like no other. Resting her free hand on Tina’s exposed stomach she rubbed it gently, “one day you’ll figure out that there is an easier way to get pregnant, to have the family you wanted.” Swallowing, Bette was surprised by the painful lump in her throat and the bubble of tears just below the surface. “And you’ll leave me with unfulfilled dreams and promises, just like everyone I have ever known and loved.”
Wiping angry at the tears that tracked her face, Bette couldn’t help being distracted by the beauty before her. Returning her hand to Tina’s toned stomach, Bette couldn’t help but imagine the child that would grow there one day, “please let me be it’s mother.” An unexpected sob tore from her body, startling her and echoing around the still room. The tears came unbidden, rent from deep within her.
“Fuck.” She breathed. “Fuck!” Rolling into Tina, she threw her arm around the woman’s midsection, bringing her closer to her. Tucking her head into the crook of her shoulder, Bette held tight and closed her eyes. “Not tonight,” she murmured willing her breathing to slow, “not tonight.”
Every couple of lines Tina found herself looking up from her book, her eyes instantly tracking the subdued Bette who was obstensively working on her laptop, but seemed much further away. The telltale clicking of the keypad had stopped over an hour ago and Bette had just stopped as if frozen in time. Or frozen in some misery that Tina couldn’t put her finger on.
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It’s terrible if somebody is excluded because of that not alike to the others. The peoples hate it if somebody is different than they. I know what feeling the exclusion though I’m not half-blood. :o( Anyway I’m glad how you wrote a newer thought-provoking story to us.
Hi dear sweet Deean! Wow! You left us speechless here. This story compiled too many things to digest and think about. Bette not only fears that Tina may reject her for not being absolutely white, but also because the search for the donnor became a nightmare to them. It is comprehensible that the way Bette is lookin at it, she is afraid that Tina may leave her if she finds a man who could willingly get her pregnant and provide a “steady” and “safer” life for her. Unfortunately, what we are also observing is that instead of being open about her inner demons and doubts, she hides them and goes further into herself. This withdrawal will only bring a terrible lack of communication, which could escalate into a breakup. Thanks for sharing with us such poignant story. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks.- Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
It’s funny but when I look at JB playing Bette, I just see a person. Not a white person, not a black person, just a person seemingly colorless. But I’ve read how JB herself often felt invisible and “other”. It’s odd how this stunning person could feel self-conscious and maybe sometimes, not enough. Human nature is odd, eh?
as always you’re writing is flawless… “otherness” is so interesting as someone who is psuedo bi racial ( being born in a different country and being raised in America) I can relate to Bette’s struggle in this. It’s hard to find an identity if you dont quite fit into certain groups. I’ve learned though to just create my own space and those that love me will just see me for me and not how i look or where i was born or who i love but me just simply me… Great start really got me thinking!
Wonderful and Brilliant. Thank you.
Brilliant and so true. You have to be black or part black to understand. Thaks for posting.
This was a great story.
Great story I wish u wud continue. I am so glad u haven’t forgotten ur other stories n hope u wud post soon:)PLEASE
Brilliant & I’m looking forward to more. Thanks.
I had just watched Season 1 episode 1-2 last night. I’m black but you don’t have to be black to understand Bette’s position. There are many people of mixed race and every culture has their issues with it. When you aren’t one or the other people will treat you differently. Self Identity is hard when others can’t accept you for who you are (not by choice). Jennifer Beals talked about how she was treated growing up and how it made her a loner in childhood. Children and adults can be so cruel. I believe that JB got the best of both cultures, she is a beautiful woman.