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    Lost, Part 13

    “T, look at me,” Bette said placing her hand underneath Tina’s chin and she gently forced her to meet her eyes. “A part of me will always be afraid. You have to understand that…”

    “I do, it’s just..”

    “Let me finish. Ok?” she said as she continued. “You have to understand that all of this has been so difficult for me, and there will always be a part of me that will be afraid that we are both only going to hurt each other over and over again. That sometimes friendship is the only way to…”

    “I can’t only be your friend…”

    “But friendship,” Bette said, this time talking over Tina and taking her hand, “is where love begins. Without friendship as a foundation, what do you really have?”

    “Incredible sex? Sorry, continue.”

    “Nice, Can I finish now?” Bette said, shaking her head in mock disgust. “As I was saying, everything that we have been through, even the really shitty things we have done to each other, whether we realize it or not; and as fucked up as all of it has been, has been out of love?”

    Tina gave Bette a look that can only be described as reading, “Huh?”

    “You can only hate someone with the intensity that we did during our most tumultuous times when love and passion have nowhere to go.”

    “I never hated you Bette, I hated what you did, but I never hated you.”

    “I know that T. I was hurting and you were hurting, and the only way we could deal with it was by hurting each other; and we did.”

    “But we are at a different place now; a better place, I know it,” Tina said; pleading.

    “I never stopped loving you, but I can’t be with you T.”

    Tina was crushed. All she could do is take a step backwards as her legs threatened to crumble beneath her.

    “Not now at least,” Bette said as she reached out to steady Tina. “Not yet.”

    “Don’t you want to try again Bette?” Tina asked as she fought to contain the tears that threatened to fall. “Why did you ask me where I wanted this to go if you didn’t want this?”

    “T.”

    “No, really, I don’t understand how you could do this to me all over again.”

    “T… just let me finish…”

    “No, I can’t do this Bette…not again,” Tina said making no attempt to hide her tears as she ran out the door.

    “Wait,” Bette called after her, yet her words did nothing to stop her.

    “Wait…I have to talk to Jodi,” Bette said to her empty house. “I have to do this right this time.”

     

    TBC…

     

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    Comments

    1. ARGHHHHH… not a very nice move to leave it right there. at least bette has intentions of doing the right thing!!! Now if tina would only slow down and listen… good luck with ur move! :)PPS

    2. Bette needs to make sure Tina understands what she needs. I am glad that Bette is trying to do things right and hope that Tina will come to see it will work if she gives Bette the time to finish things in the correct way with Jodi.

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