However, as confident as Tina was in every other aspect of her life, she knew that, unlike Bette, it was only when they were together that Tina felt whole, when the chasm that had opened inside of her after what she’d done with Scott, could be bridged, the deficiency covered by something solid. The bridge, the glue that held her together was the deep, intimate, abiding connection with Bette that gave her life this solidity.  She made herself beautiful for Bette, and strove tirelessly to make their home a haven for all of them, an impenetrable fortress, at every level, where they would feel safe always, where their children would grow in grace and love. Where they would spend their lives linked together, forever.

But Bette? In contrast, unlike her, Tina felt Bette was a whole being within herself, the star who shone brightly in everything she did, and one who’d successfully overcome every black hole that had sought to destroy her.  She was more than whole – she was overflowing, and Tina had latched her life to this amazing woman, to partake in the moving feast of her exceptional life, feeling that finally, here was the one meant for her, the one to love with everything she had.   I don’t know why Bette says I’ve saved her. When it’s her to whom I owe so much; owe so much of this happiness in my life, to whom I owe everything.  I live in a kind of heaven in the midst of all this chaos in the world because of her.  I don’t know why someone like her would choose someone like me.  My life is beautiful because of, and with, her.

And then I let my guard down and let something happen with Kaci.

Fresh tears spilled, her heart ached.

Or did something happen?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bette re-tucked the edge of the towel she’d wrapped around herself as she opened the door to their bedroom. Only her nightstand lamp was switched on; the room was otherwise dark.  She heard music filtering past the shut bathroom door.  The playlist she’d put on was probably still playing in the master bathroom.  Which meant Tina could still be in there? Her conscientious wife would have switched everything off in the bathroom.