“You can start this any which way you want to, Rian,” Bette answered, still in that soft voice.

Rian blew a steadying breath out. The psychiatrist had told her that she’d have to be patient with herself, and accept that the PTSD could reappear or worsen. Year 5 seemed to be a particular milestone year, for example, for those with the condition, according to a recent broad-based research that they’d talked about during a recent session.

“I’ve been thinking about the next step for Jade and I, Bette. About what happens next for a couple like us, you know? Setting aside everything that we went through with my rehab and all of that. You know what I’m thinking about, right? The arc that any couple goes through?”

Bette kept quiet, sensing that Rian needed to express what she’d obviously been ruminating for a while now, without interruptions.

“Four years for a couple … any couple, gay or straight … feels like it’s enough. Enough time for the couple to get to that certain point where you’d have to wonder, “well, is this how it’s going to be for the next four years? Or is there something else?”

“Every cell in my body is telling me that there is something else.”

She paused again. “She’s all I’ve been thinking about these past few months, Bette.”

“I see her in almost everything I do. Like, that time I came across this really exquisite Aphrodite that the Met asked me to evaluate … she’s the “Heavenly One” of Mount Olympus, as you know, irresistibly attractive, powerful, famous for causing unhappy endings for her various lovers …” In a reflective, steady susurration, Rian continued to talk about how that piece, and many others she’d been evaluating, had inspired her introspection over the last few months. At length, her voice trailed out.

Bette took that as a sign that she could say something. “Have you talked to her about any of that?”

Sigh. “The perfect moment seems to have eluded us, or else it’s never presented itself at an opportune time. You know what I mean?”

“Ha, no kidding!” Bette answered. “In our case, it seems like there’s been so much going on lately, with Tina’s problems in that big production, my foundation issues, the kids … it feels like we’re on 24 hours a day. Just so difficult to carve out some “couple” time.”