Love Revisited – Part 2

Previously. I was delirious with our joined passion and knew in mere momentsseconds she would take me over the edge – and it happened, from the tips of my toes to the hair on my head I felt the tsunami of orgasms take over my body. It was like no other ***** in my life. Its tide washed over me and through me, threw me up to the heavens, careened me from cloud to cloud, let me touch the wings of an angel who then gently tapped me and sent me floating back to earth, landing me in the arms of the only person who could send me on this glorious journey – my Bette.

"T, are you okay? I didnt hurt you, did I? Please tell me I didn’t hurt you just now." Bette was on her side also, spooning me, her arm draped over me, her face nuzzled in my hair close to my ear. She had such trepidation in her voice. How did we get to this point of feeling so cautious of the next word spoken – well, I realize now how Bette got to that point. Yours truly picked her up, sped away and dropped her off squarely at the intersection of fear and caution. Im not absolving her for her contribution to what happened, but I need to begin to show her I recognize and accept my failures, too.

"No, baby, you didnt hurt me." Then with a wiggle of my eyebrows, "Of course I did think there for just a moment I had died and gone to heaven." And there it was, that smile, my Bette’s smile. It could soften the thorns on a rose and breathe renewed life into a heart torn asunder.

I took her hand and placed it on my chest, just over my heart. "Can you feel that, Bette? Hear the regularity, feel the excitement? 6 months ago when I found out about the affair I swear I heard my heart crack, knowing right then it would never beat at a regular pace ever again. How could it? Its life blood flow was constricted."

"Oh, T, I dont think I will ever forgive myself."

"Shh, let me finish. Yes, you committed a relationship’s ultimate betrayal. I was broken and all I saw was my own pain. My self-esteem, my self-worth was in the gutter, ready to be picked up and hauled away to the trash heap. And I was angry, so very angry at you, so as soon as someone came along and gave me attention I took hold of it and ran. And the part that disturbs me most is I knew you seeing me with someone would hurt you, would make you feel the pain I was feeling."