The sadness in her face, the tears blurring her eyes and spilling onto her cheeks told me it was time to end this conversation – for now. "Baby, I’m not saying these things to further hurt you. If today means there’s any kind of hope for us to mend, then we have to begin to be open and honest with one another – on all counts. It’s just not going to work any other way. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, T, I understand."

"And me forgiving you as starters isnt going to mean squat unless you learn to forgive yourself."

"How the ***** do I do that? I fucked up our lives, I hurt the only person that I ever truly loved."

I was still holding her hand over my heart. Well, to begin with you can know that the heart that beats beneath your hand right now is beating at a regular pace once again. "You have to look real close to see the remnants of the crack. Its not totally scarred over – there’s definitely work and more healing to be done. And as with any injury, time and attention is the only healer."

Her face softened and tears no longer fell. One thing I know about my Bette is when she takes the time to listen to you, she listens. You can almost see the words being absorbed into her brain.

"I’m really working on me, T, I really am and I heard everything you said."

"Great, baby, because right now I want to spend whatever remaining time we have together today together."

I turned to face her, took the hand that was over my heart and kissed its palm, tracing a trail with my tongue up her fingers that not so long ago were inside me. My scent still very clearly there. I took each one into my mouth, looking directly into Bettes eyes and caught the hitch in her breath. I leaned in and kissed her, gently at first. Our lips parted and each welcomed our tongues in their slow dance of exploration. I drew her closer to me, picking up the pace of that dance, each beginning to feel the heat and desire beginning its surge through our bodies.