For many years I loved her as a friend, my best friend, but as the years ticked by and I was faced with the thought of losing her forever it suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightening, I was in love with her. For many years I’d wondered what love felt like and now here it was and how do I explain it. To realise I might never tell her I loved her, never get to hold her, kiss her, make love to her made me feel like the life had been taken out of me. My head felt so confused with all of these feelings I’d never felt before and my heart ached for her as it pounded hard in my chest. I had to make her see that I loved her, that she was the one I wanted, the only person I would ever need. So I opened myself up to her and gave her my heart truly and completely for the first time in my whole life. I must admit I have never been as terrified of anything as I was of giving myself fully to her. You see never having been in love before I didn’t know how to handle the feelings that went on inside me, to be honest not only did I love them they also scared me senseless at the same time. You know how it is, your heart always calls that persons name, you want to spend every second with them and worry constantly if you don’t hear from them in a while. Believe me, if you’ve never felt such a thing before it can be scary because in a way, you feel like your losing control a little, I know I did. Ironically it was only after we split up I began to realise how in letting me go, Dana truly taught me how to deal with those feelings. You know when she told me she loved me, my heart truly felt like it was exploding in my chest. My breathing quickened at the softness of her voice and I felt I had at last found what I spent my life searching for. I never thought I could live without her, but in the end I was given no choice. In the days leading up to her death, I realised that Dana gave me something so special, something that could never be taken away by our break up or even death, she had given herself to me, my one true love. First love could never be forgotten, I could never forget Dana, but I can move on. I have experienced love, it doesn’t frighten me anymore. Dana allowed me to feel a pure and unselfish love, she also showed me how to open my heart to others. She made me realise that I cant hid from love to avoid a broken heart, in time and with the help of the right person a broken heart will one day heal. We should spend a life time looking for love, for that one person who makes you’re heart sing and your soul dance and if your lucky to find her you should hold on tightly and never let go. If you open your heart and hear it call that one person you know you were put on this earth to love, listen and if your willing to sacrifice everything for that one person you know you are in love. When love overcomes fear, when you forget everyone and everything around you, when being with that person is all that matters, you have found your soul mate, just as I have with a little help from Dana. As I walk from the waterfall I whisper a soft thank you, knowing that wherever she is she can hear me and I know she’s smiling. I wrap my arms around her tight and nestle my face into her neck before looking up and saying “Helena, I love you” as she smiles at me, I smile back realising that now I really do know the true meaning of love.