I looked at you, not wanting to necessarily relive the good times we had together as a couple, because it was over a long time ago. When you spend the better part of 8 years with someone though, it’s difficult not to get caught up in the memories of good times; times when we were both so happy and in love.

I didn’t tell you that I missed you too, but you have to know that I do. But I think I’ve reached a point where I am okay again without you. I have accepted your relationship with Henry, however confusing to me. I had no choice really. It would have eaten me alive if I didn’t make peace with your situation and the choices you have made.

In all honesty, maybe it’s good that Angie has a male figure in her life, despite my inherent jealousy of Henry’s place as a pseudo-parent for her. As much as it pains me to say this, I think Mikey could be a good influence on her too as far as socializing her with other kids right now. That reminds me, I should ask Shane if she ever wants me to watch Shay while I have Angie. Shit, focus Porter.

You just looked so defeated as you poured your heart out on my couch. My instinct told me to comfort you. Instinct is not something you can just fight or unlearn. It’s innate. I wanted to hold you and take away all your pain. Especially the pain that I had caused in the months leading up to and after our final breakup.

It was my way of apologizing to you for the way I callously characterized our relationship according to you as some inconsequential trial run for you. I know I had been so unfair to you, but to acknowledge that our relationship was the real deal for you was tantamount to acknowledging my failure as a partner to keep you in love with me. I wasn’t ready to admit that I had failed in our relationship after trying for so long to make it up to you.

Although it’s taken me sometime, like I said, I’m okay now. But it hasn’t been easy. I thought about you every night I lied in our bed alone while you were with him. Crying myself to sleep wasn’t just common, it was my nightly ritual for so long, T.