“Honey wake up”

She rolls of and sees Jenny hovering over her.

“Just let me sleep”

“No, I can’t do that ok. We were all so worried about you. Don’t you ever do that again ok.”

“Just leave me alone Jenny.”

“I can’t do that ok. I know you are hurt honey. We all are but you need to get better. We are all here to help you through this. Here.”

She hands me a cup of tea and on the side of it is a letter.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a letter from here. She said that it will explain everything. She dropped it off about two days ago.”

I look at the letter and trace the letters of her name. I remember how beautiful her hand writing was and how strong her hands were.

She isn’t proud of this and she hopes that one day you can forgive her.

I remember those words and anger takes over me.

“Burn it”

I get up and lock myself in the bathroom. I can hear Jenny’s heels clack as they follow me.

“I know you are going to hate me for this but I am going to read this to you because she said that you needed to hear it.”

Shane

I am so sorry for what I have done and I hope that one day you can forgive me. I am not proud of my actions and I do sincerely hope that one day you can forgive me. Know that I loved you and me leaving you at the altar doesn’t mean that I didn’t it just meant that I wasn’t ready. I know you were going through a lot and the fear of losing Dana prompted you to ask me to marry you and I should’ve said no. That is my fault and I let my mistake hurt you. I realize now that me being a coward and not letting you know how I felt has caused a lot of people harm mainly you. I know it was extremely shitty of me to have my mother break the news to you but I couldn’t face you. Our relationship wasn’t all roses Shane but I think the love we had overshadowed our problems. I realize now that I didn’t love you unconditionally because if I did I wouldn’t have tried so hard to change you. I didn’t like myself when I was with you. I would lash out at you in anger a lot and sometimes over the simplest things. You didn’t deserve that at all. You are a good person more than what you allow yourself to think you are. While I was getting dressed in my wedding gown I looked myself in the mirror and really asked myself am I about to marry the most unattainable person. My answer at first was yes but then I realized that I was still seeing you as unattainable when you had already given me your heart. It was then that I realized that I would always punish you for the past and how can we make a future like that. You would suffocate under me constantly having to walk on eggshells and I wouldn’t want that for you. I am profoundly sorry. I have left for NY Shane. Russell offered me a job and I took it. I know it would be cruel of me to ask you to wish me luck but I hope that you don’t hate so much that you would wish me harm.